| To boldly go where no Jedi has gone before... -Casual - Jan 06 10:16pm | |
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DISCLAIMER: This is the story of a Star Trek fan lost in the midst of a thriving Star Wars community. If you relate in any way to the writer of this article, please contact him because he needs a friend. Together you can face the perils of your predicament by waving your Bat'leths and shouting your Klingon war cries over the deafening hum of those silly plastic bathroom lamps these "Jedis" carry on their waists. Let's start from the beginning of my career as the outcast of Jedi Academy. I was looking for a Star Trek fansite via a popular Internet search engine. If I remember correct, the keywords were "SW community learn". If you're a bright reader, you'll obviously notice that SW is NOT the correct abbreviation of Star Trek. I didn't notice it at the time, since I was so concentrated on building my miniature U.S.S. Enterprise. Anyway, I soon found myself at a weird looking site called "The Jedi Academy". Now, the Star Trek universe is HUGE. ENORMOUS, I'll have to add. To my knowledge, there is a distinct possibility of a race of "Je'dis" existing somewhere amongst the nebulae. Who knows what you can find in the Gamma Quadrant after going through the wormhole near Deep Space 9? Exalted as I was to find this beautiful website, which was obviously a fan gathering for the mysterious race of Je'di (I took that the reason the place was called Jedi Academy and not Je'di Academy was due to a common typographical error resulting from lack of toilet training), I quickly signed up and waited in earnest for my application to be accepted. During my waiting period I rewatched all the episodes of The Next Generation, just so I would be in the zone with all the sophisticated mannerisms of Jean-Luc Picard, the beastlike arrogance of Worf, the sexyness of Councellor Troi and the techincal wizardry of LaForge. I wanted to astound my soon to be new friends with my thorough knowledge of the ST world, its cultures (albeit I had to admit I did not know much about the Je'di) and its idiosyncracies. Soon I got my "Application accepted" e-mail and somersaulted in the air. I browsed the site (without much reading all the nonsense, since I was used to the fact that things about ST are usually that) and found an IRC channel on Quakenet where my new friends resided. So I opened mIRC, waited for the server connection and finally typed /join #jedi-academy. Being the bold explorer of unknown areas of space I stated my purpose, my reason and my ethos, mythos and pathos with the words: [Casual] \\// LIVE LONG AND PROSPER \\// What seemed like a lively chat going on in the channel abruptly ceased. I could feel all eyes turning on me (metaphorically, of course). I was startled. I rechecked my spelling if I had typoed that famous Vulcan greeting and thus made a fool of myself, but no. So I tried: [Casual] What's wrong, my Trekkie friends? Did you take a too long swig out of your Romulan ale? What happened next was a blur. I received a kickban from one of the operators, with the reason: "Go away, Trekkie turd". How nasty. I was in shock. This didn't seem like a friendly place after all. I wrote a post on the forums stating that "I love Star Trek just as much as you guys. I go to sleep hugging my soft Worf dummy and repeat the words of Captain Kirk in the beginning of all Star Trek - The Original Series episodes: To boldly go where no man has gone before". My thread received a lot of attention, and I must say, not all of it was positive. First people laughed at my post, then they sneered, and in the end they made fun of me like I was a frigging Starfleet Academy Cadet. The horrible truth revealed itself to me later on. This was not, after all, a Star Trek community. This was, and I hate to say it out loud, a STAR WARS fan site. I was dumbfounded. I hate Star Wars. I hate those bloody geeks who think they're cool when they can manipulate your mind and wield an extended maglite pretending it can actually cut you. It turned out that The Jedi Academy was a place where you can learn to play a stupid computer game. I respected the fact that they had some idea of "honour", since like my favourite people of all, the Klingons, honour means a lot to me. But they were wussies! They'd BOW before each fight! Now what kind of a brainy military strategy is that? If your opponent bows, you cut off the head. If your opponent says "Good luck, May The Force Be With You", you scoff and say "Today is a good day to die". I've been here for two years now. Why? Maybe I'm such a firm believer in the human soul. I KNOW I can convert these SW geeks and open their eyes to the only true universe out there. I KNOW I can make them drink bloodwine like any battle-hardened Klingon or practise the use of immovable logic like our dear stiffy friends, the Vulcans, do. So far I've had little luck. I'm still the outcast. They still hate me. But they allow me to lurk around since I'm pretty harmless. I've even made a friend or two here, but I haven't seen them around for a while. One of the Council (yeah, they have a frigging COUNCIL of Jedi, how lame) said that the "bots" (I don't know what he meant, maybe it's a Jedi term for a friend) don't have any "server" (more SW jargon) to "host" (I don't even want to guess that one, sounds perv) them. So my friends haven't been around for a long time. But I'm coming out of the metaphorical closet now. I AM A STAR TREK FAN. There I said it. I'm also bloody proud to be one. I know that one day you'll all see the superiority of my conviction. Until then, I can only pray for your souls and hope you have a safe journey to Sto-Vo-Kor (the Klingon heaven) when your time comes. I end this article with the same words I began my career as The Jedi Academy Number One And Only Star Trek Fan Even Though Those Geeks Still Hate Me: \\// LIVE LONG AND PROSPER \\// |
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Odin - Student 
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Haha that was funny. _______________ "Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it." -Darth Bane |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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*raises hand* I am a Star Trek Fan. So shoot me.  _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment  DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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bono_bob - Student |
.....  ''= eek!Id never thought a star trek fan, in all of their knowledge of how star trek is supposedly better than star wars wouldnt realize right off the bat this place was a star wars fan site. I mean it even says 'THE place for Jedi Training." still if he was negatively responded to I dont know why you guys were so harsh to him.. my dad watches star trek and a bit of star wars.. he has concluded that they both have their great flaws and that everyone can shut up about which one is better and which one sucks. I would have to agree  (althouhg I do find Star Trek a bit boring compared to Star Wars) _______________ "Darkness is simply the absence of Light" "Is it not easier to snuff out the light completely than to make no shadow or darknes at all and create pure light?" "Is there a limit to Light?" - Jawa Jedi from a galaxy far far way of the one Lucas describes ( not in that galaxy ) |
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Duncan Frost - Student 
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TREKKIE TURD! _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Alex Dkana - Staff 
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lol, thats a good read. I watched quite a lot of ST, never liked it as much as SW or other things, but it was pretty good; i liked Voyager and DS9 in their later series. For you trekies i heard they are making a star trek MMO for release in the near future. _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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Quote: Looks like i am going to have to kick some trekkie ass...I am coming for you DJ! /me joins Tallepyon's team. _______________ Website |
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Tallepyon - Student 
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Looks like i am going to have to kick some trekkie ass...I am coming for you DJ! |
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Badger Hat - Student 
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YAY DJ_SITH! WE WANT STARFLEET ACADEMY!!!!  _______________ RL bro to HawkJedi Chuck Norris pwns!(duh) Proud member of Yeah, it's a hat. |
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Rivian Na'Dolo - Student 
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Quote: star trek sucks so much ass i agree to a point.. the fact i watched star trek so much it started to suck is why! _______________ What Do We Have To Learn From But Our Mistakes? All We Can Ask For Is Forgiveness. -Chaos~ [Master to Threat Na'Dolo and Trickster Na'Dolo][~Proud Friends~ Trooper, Kensei, RoseRed, Kitmitsu, Gradius, Setementor, Tarpman, Liso Jowol ~] [Owner of Tarpman's 2800th comment][Owner of Thomas Skywalker's 5398th and 5600'th comments][Owner of TreeX's 151th, 250th and 350th comments][Owner of Echuu's 666th and 800th Comments][Owner of JediFire's 123th comment][Owner of Vivi's 107th comment][Owner of Threat Na'Dolo's 100th comment][Owner of CC's 500'th and 1234'th comments][Owner of Kewan Obiobi's 310th comment][Owner of Piccolo's 2400th comment][Owner of Kensei's 3300'th comment][Owner of Liso Jowol's unexpected 2600th comment!] [Owner of the kill-Thomas-whenever-you-want-to certificate!][Winner of the 11000'th comment on Aeth S'kray's Count thread] [Looking for unofficial Padawans To Train]Na'Dolo Site Here. |
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DJ Sith - Jedi Council 
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Qa'Pla! Don't worry. I'll change all this to the Starfleet Academy. _______________ My car is made of Nerf. |
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Kenyon - Lord of the Dance 
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Quote: If you look deep inside your psyche, struggling through the crusts of geekness, ploughing through clusters of cells all screaming "WTF IS THIS FORCE ANYWAY?", you'll find a little green pointy-eared Yoda getting his ass kicked over and over and over and over again by Mr. Spock. Quoted for truth! As Eddie Murphy used to say: "Let Spock handle it!" Trek FTW ktnx. |
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Casual - Student 
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Quote: dude... we aren't geeks. ok we are geeks. who ever banned you was a bit mean, but then again you DID call us trekkies. Like I said, I hope that soon you will see just how much I am in the right. If you look deep inside your psyche, struggling through the crusts of geekness, ploughing through clusters of cells all screaming "WTF IS THIS FORCE ANYWAY?", you'll find a little green pointy-eared Yoda getting his ass kicked over and over and over and over again by Mr. Spock. The truth is out there, you just have to find it. And when you do, you'll thank me for it. _______________ Thanks to the human heart by which we live, Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. |
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Darth Bane II - Student 
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dude... we aren't geeks. ok we are geeks. who ever banned you was a bit mean, but then again you DID call us trekkies. _______________ Training began: December 2003 Left the Order: October 2008 Returned: November 2009 |
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Kenyon - Lord of the Dance 
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Best. Article. Ever. |
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Wicek - Nugget 
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Funny |
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SaZ - Student 
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casual u earn 100 sexeh points for this one _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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Axion - Student 
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Hahaha, well done Casual. _______________ Axion - Yeah. |
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Lirael - Jedi Council 
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Wow, if this is what you can come up with at 2am, we'll ASSIMILATE the entire JA before tea-time _______________ I can write my name with my sparkler. My sparkler > your lightsabre |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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ROFL! Loved the part about your friends being bots. Good article! <3 _______________ make install -not war |
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3th - Retired 
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much <3 to the misguided yet always entertaining Cas! _______________ this is the internet, be serious damn it! |
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Jade - Student 
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So....erm.....this isn't a Star Trek fan site...????  Ahem! Nice one! _______________ "You don't know the power of the dark side....Buurrp!" |
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Pink_Mintaka - Student 
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ROFL |
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Ashyr - Student 
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/me throws Corrilean Ale bottles and fruit in your general direction. j/k, I actually like both Star Wars and Star Trek, if that's possible. But if I had to choose sides, I'd say I'm more of a SW fan. If that's really a true story, lmao, I wish I was there. _______________ Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan |
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Majno - Padawan 
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Lovely article. Funny as hell . \\// LIVE LONG AND PROSPER \\// _______________ " You've just taken your first steps into a larger world. " - Ben. |
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Carrock - Padawan 
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hahahahahaha a pitty that i wasnt on irc when u joined AHAHAHAHAHAHA ah btw May the Force be with you ! _______________ Lady Carrock[Leweroo`s 900th comment][Jaitro`s 50`th & 100`th comment][Tigerclaw`s 200`th comment][proud owner of DaMi3N`s 77`th comment ][Sazabi`s 900`th comment][Mindirith`s 400`th comment][Majnis 1400`th & 1555`th comment][Ris Win Juljul`s 400`th comment yay][Liso`s 2000`th comment YAY][Ris Win Juljul`s 444`th comment ][Yuken Zalak`s 100`th comment YAY][Miguel Zalaks 1`th comment][Sa`Un 100`th comment :O][Zeke Azakura`s 150`th comment > PINK !!!  ][Mindrith Pride`s 1001`th comment][Elmos 222`th comment ][Virtues 1600`th comment YAY ][Ataris 1100`th comment ][Rivian N�dolo`s 800`th comment][*Elmos 4-Zero-Zero`th comment ][Jade Jadi`s 1900`th comment] [Yuki`s 222`th comment Yiha]Wanne download mine awsome*giggles*, DaMi3N's or Dashi`s saber? then click here
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