| Lease Nuclear Weapons | |
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Ulic Belouve - Student  |
Lease a Nuke!
Want power and respect? Want to influence the course of world events? Want to be on CNN every night? Tired of hum-drum conventional warfare and messy bio-chemical weapons? Want to watch the citizens of your favorite arcology squirm and sweat in constant nagging fear of instant and unexpected annihilation? Lease a nuclear device! In the wake of the former Soviet Union's demise, there are literally thousand of high-quality nuclear weapons complete with intercontinental delivery systems going unused. Though these systems are indeed powerful and destructive weapons of war, they are most effective when used in a more passive role. The US and USSR have proven in years of research and actual testing that nuclear devices are most effective when merely targeting an enemy. Actual detonation is not normally necessary to achieve tremendous effect in the designated target's military, political, economic and social well-being. Imagine the boost in national pride and morale when you personally announce on state radio and television that you have put long-time enemies under threat of nuclear destruction. They will praise your name as a powerful and inspired leader even without the secret police's encouragement. Why lease? By leasing, you not only save money developing your own nuclear technology program, you save a lot of unnecessary headaches too. Nuclear weapons development is expensive and time consuming, not to mention easily detectable. It could take you years to acquire and build the necessary industry to manufacture weapons-grade material. Even after that, you still have to design, build and test your first device before anyone takes you seriously. Purchasing existing nuclear hardware is also expensive and risky. Most governments are on the lookout for such activity. Many dealers are crooked. Do you really want to take a chance getting ripped off by shady weapons dealers? Even if you succeed purchasing through the black market, you stand the risk of getting on the wrong side of international opinion. You could lose existing conventional arms contracts, face economic sanctions or even military action. With a lease you avoid a lot of other problems too. Since the weapons are not on your property, you avoid becoming a target yourself. You can forget about the high cost of security, environmental pollution concerns and even subversion by renegade generals in your own army. The advantages of leasing are tremendous. You just sign, point, and go! When you are through leasing, just turn in the button and walk away. You can even change your target at any time for a small fee. (Handy for preventing those nasty coup d' etats.) You can announce your target or keep it secret. Each targeted device contract comes with a certificate of authenticity and sufficient proof actual delivery capability. The best part is, you don't pay for the whole weapon, unless you actually fire it! This alone presents a HUGE cost savings over the alternatives. Imagine the power and prestige you will feel when you get your very own button. You can do things you never thought possible, like pounding your shoe on the UN podium. Hey, and nothing says sexy like a nuclear trigger. Hurry, opportunities are limited! Contact Raydeax Corporation for more details on how you too can become an instant nuclear world power. Dr. Nuketopia, Technology Director of the World-Wide Monetary Conspiracy _______________ Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace. This post was edited by Ulic Belouve on Feb 27 2003 01:10am. |
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| Comments |
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SirBizNatch - Student 
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(fires nukes at JATS and JACs, who force push the bomb back to me....) _______________ Personal body guard to teh 1337 Jacen Aratan! Midbie Council Memeber||Member of the Almighty FiZZsters |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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lol Ulic, don't tell George W about that, it'll give him another reason to attack Iraq!
_______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Ulic Belouve - Student 
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Why are you guys asking me if WE take credit cards or checks? You think I can sell them?
If I even HAD a nuclear weapon to sell, do you think we'd all be sitting on 3 servers with a MAD ping? (hehe, I see a pun, but most won't get it) NO! We'd have like, 80 servers strung together, so all could bo on at the same time, and we'd all have superb computers with our own dedicated T3 line or something like that. And 1000+ FPS no matter what. But I don't have them. And I think they don't take checks ever since Saddam bounced that last one. _______________ Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace. |
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Fizz of Belouve - Student 
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....and, more important do you take cheques ?  _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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Sared - Retired 
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Ya know, I have a couple friends in Canada that could use a good laugh... how much per lease? And do you take credit cards? _______________ I'm crazy, not stupid. |
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Dammerung - Student |
Can I borrow one of those...?  _______________ "It's over Anakin! This high ground adds +5 to my agility!" "HAX!" |
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SirBizNatch - Student
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in that case... To All JAT's!!!! immediately advance me to Knight with all the admin powers or you will be nuked! i have your exact locations locked and am ready to fire... _______________ Personal body guard to teh 1337 Jacen Aratan! Midbie Council Memeber||Member of the Almighty FiZZsters |
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Jello` - Student 
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I want one...
(wonders what a 13 year old would do with a nuke... hmmmmmm) _______________ Brady Brothers: Orion-Greg, Furi0us-Peter, Me-Bobby. Long lost cousin to Flash. Midbie Council #007. Ex-JAK. |
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Master Lew - Student 
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That would make a great skit on SNL. _______________ Brick Assassin for Hire Here, have a brick!
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Aeth S'kray - Retired 
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hm... _______________ Aeth S'kray *June 2002 +September 2003 |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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I'll take 2 ICBMs, a large Cherry Coke w/no ice, umm let's see, large fries and an apple pie. Oh, and super-size it.
_______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Fizz of Belouve - Student
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do u have those shiny new FFF bombs in stock ?
I cant wait 'til those things come with ur happy meal _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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DJ Sith - Jedi Council 
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Wow! Gimme 2! The best thing is after I develop my nuclear program I won't have to pay you! Cold war abounds! _______________ My car is made of Nerf. |
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