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Shannon -SC- - Student  |
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Top 10 reasons a Tie Pilot knows he is in trouble 10. Flying into battle the Squadron Commander says, "Lets get those J Wings." Wingman asks, "What does this little red button do?" Sticker on your tie says Assembled by Jawa Local 182 Returning to hanger after a battle the NO Vacancy sign is lit. During the mission briefing the wing commander keeps using the words, "A small rebel force." Eject button has an out of order tag hanging from it. Arrive on flight deck and see 5 mechanics arguing on who is going to sign off on our ship. In the middle of a battle you ISD decides to hyper out. Darth Vader approaches you and says, " You two follow me." And the number one reason a tie pilot knows he is in trouble- 1. During battle overhearing, "Luke, use the force. Top 10 things you don’t want the hear your wingman say 10. I never flew one of these before 9. I have to go back, I left the iron on 8. My flight suit wouldn’t seal so I took yours. 7. Yeah I failed out of the academy but my dad was a Moff 6. What do you mean by cover me? 5. Where is the cup holder? 4. I think I’m afraid of flying 3. I left my glasses in my locker just tell me who to shoot at. 2. This is a lot realer than the simulator And the number one thing you don’t want to hear your wingman say Oh my god, their using live ammo. Top ten things you don’t want to hear your mechanic say 10. I think I know how to put it back together. 9. They didn’t teach us that in class yet 8. A little duct tape and it will be fine 7. Have you seen the owner’s manual 6. I wouldn’t fly it 5. I graduated from the Jawa Institute of Technology 4. Those are just spare parts 3. We all use gum as an adhesive 2. Oops And the number one thing you don’t want to hear your mechanic say 1. I used to be the chief mechanic on the Millenium Falcon _______________ Falling from heaven is not as painfull, as surviving the impact. |
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Ashyr - Student 
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lol I want a Rancor pop-up book! _______________ Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan |
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solitude - Jedi Council 
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*RESURRECTED* ROFLOLMAO, that pwned  _______________ Joined 16 October 2004 | Retired 10 April 2005 | Returned 05 June 2008 | Made Staff 27 June 2008 | Made Council 18 January 2009 Padawan To Odan-Wei Belouve | Adopted into the Belouve family | Twin to xAnAtOs | Owner of the 4th Quesi sexy badge Brother To Roan Belouve, Nomad, Majno, Silkmonkey, Kensei and Jarhok Belouve
Owner Of Virtue's 1000th profile comment, Mr. Doobie's 1000th profile comment, Gradius' 2500th comment, xAnAtOs' 2500th comment, Rosered's 1500th comment, Laziana's 900th comment, Scythus' 500th comment and Echuu's 100th comment |
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TiTo (inactive) - Student 
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Holy poodle??? Wow... I... Well, I'm speechless...  _______________ Not back yet... I'll come one day, I hope... The madman formerly (and still) known as Tito! Coming to take back my title as "Most insane 'person' in the JA" It's the bizzi, wizza, jizzi, Wizzil, Bizon, wizzay, Wizzat, fizzil ¶°TiTo°¶ - All work and no play makes Tito burn the bacon! - Officially cured from spamming!!!
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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Holy poodle Tito!! _______________ make install -not war |
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TiTo (inactive) - Student
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TOP TEN THINGS REASONS ANAKIN SKYWALKER WENT TO THE DARK SIDE
10. Generous Dark Lords of the Sith pension plan 9. Sick and tired of mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi reciting lines from "Bridge Over the River Kwai" 8. To escape cruel taunting over dorky name 7. To impress the babes 6. Kicked in head by bantha 5. Misunderstood name, thought the "Dirk Side" was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict 4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine's seductive after-shave 3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock 2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire 1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones TOP TEN SCENES CUT FROM ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY 10. Controversial Chewbacca/C3PO romance 9. R2D2's breakdancing scene on Hoth 8. Seventeen-second belch issued by Admiral Ackbar during crucial briefing before Battle of Endor 7. Entire subplot dealing with Jabba's marital problems 6. Dirty word being spray-painted on wall of Imperial shield generator by adolescent Ewoks 5. Marlon Brando's uncredited cameo as Bail Organa 4. Rejected ending for first movie in which all main characters die in Death Star garbage compactor 3. Glowin' Greedo 2. Six minutes of dialogue during which Mon Mothma had a booger on her lapel 1. Product placement by Cream of Wheat TOP TEN FUN THINGS TO DO ON TATOOINE 10. Bantha races 9. Racing landspeeders to the Dairy Queen and back 8. Oil baths (droids only) 7. Taunting Jawas 6. Find-the-charred-remains-of-your-foster-parents 5. Sweatin' to the Oldies...and, for that matter, to the current hits, too 4. Checking out the wretched hives of scum and villainy in Mos Eisley 3. Bulls-eyeing whomp-rats in your T-16 2. Fishing for Boba Fett's helmet in the Sarlacc pit 1. Pin-the-tail-on-Glowin'-Ben! TOP TEN REJECTED STAR WARS NOVELS 10. Luke opens a ranch devoted to the fine art of motion picture effects, names it after himself 9. "The Courtship of Darth Vader" 8. The adventures of Han Solo's accountant brother Seymore 7. "The Complete Wookie Dictionary" 6. "Boba Fett: The Wacky Teen Years" 5. An entire book devoted to all the options Anakin Skywalker went through when designing scary Darth Vader costume 4. "Luke Who's Talking!!" 3. A three-volume set documenting the first official crossover with the beloved "Willow" universe 2. "Biggs Darklighter: The Man and His Music" 1. "The Big Pop-Up Book of Rancors" TOP TEN WAYS ALL MOVIES WOULD BE BETTER IF PATTERNED AFTER STAR WARS 10. First James Bond movie would have been Grand Moff No 9. Police Academy movies retitled Jedi Academy 8. Due to union rules, a Wookie would have to be standing in the background of all outdoor scenes 7. During Hollywood premieres, midget actors in Ewok costumes would skip up and down the aisles, handing out Raisinets and malted milk balls 6. Van Damme would be eated by a giant space slug 5. Imagine the drama, when, at the end of Gone With The Wind, Scarlett and Rhett discover they are actually brother and sister! 4. Star Trek II would have featured exciting lines like: "Kiiiiiiiirk! I am your father!" 3. During entire eight years of his presidency, Reagan would have worn bright orange X-Wing pilot's outfit and helmet 2. In first Batman film, Jack Nicholson would have delivered best Joker lines in fluent Huttese 1. Lethal Weapon films would have starred Mel Gibson and Billy Dee Williams TOP TEN SURPRISES GEORGE LUCAS HAS PLANNED FOR NEW STAR WARS TRILOGY 10. Luke and Leia named after their mother's favorite talk-show hosts 9. When first hatched, baby Rancors look almost exactly like Barney 8. Let's just say that Anakin Skywalker was no great looker even before he fell in the lava pit 7. Luke and Leia's mother to by played by Shannen Dogherty 6. By federal law, new theme music must be composed by Danny Elfman 5. Clone Wars erupted after unethical scientist filled a tropical island with genetically engineered dinosaurs 4. Part of young Obi-Wan Kenobi to by played by Jim Carrey 3. We'll finally get to hear the lavish musical numbers cut from earlier films 2. If you look closely during the last five minutes of the second film, you can see brand-new Millenium Falcon being sold to Lando Calrissian's uncle 1. Many Bothans will die to bring us these films TOP TEN PACKAGED FOODS IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE 10. Hutt n' Honey 9. Lando "Lakes" Calrissian Brand Butter 8. Bits-O-Alderaan Cereal 7. Bantha Biscuits (not a big seller) 6. Kashyykburgers 5. Kibbles n' Bothans 4. Ham Salad in Carbonite 3. Yoo-Hoo 2. Jabba's Live Slimy Frog Things 1. Chocolaty Palp-O-Tine TOP TEN CRAPPY IMPERIAL JOBS 10. AT-AT jockey 9. Ewok patrol, forest moon of Endor 8. Cleaning the inside of Vader's helmet 7. Emporer's manicurist (must wear asbestos gloves) 6. Valet job parking Star Destroyers 5. Liaison to Alderaan 4. Garbage compactor monster wrangler 3. Interrogation droid tester 2. One of those little toaster robots that hum 1. Death Star Firing Sequence Officer (also known as the Dorky Hat Patrol) TOP TEN CRAPPY REBEL JOBS 10. Guy stationed next to Cliff Claven 9. Cleaning the medical tank at Hoth Base Medical Station 8. Combing the surface of Bespin, looking for Luke's hand 7. Admiral Ackbar's personal masseuse 6. Cleaning the tauntaun pens 5. Monitoring Imperial broadcasts for any news about secret blend of herbs and spices 4. Manually reloading the ion cannons 3. Chewbacca's chess coach 2. Any job whatsoever if you're stuck with a stupid degrading name like "Porkins" 1. Bothan spy TOP TEN SIGNS THAT EX-PRESIDENT CLINTON IS A BIG STAR WARS FAN 10. Has requested cameo role in forthcoming Star Wars Christmas Specials 9. Very upset when he discovered he could not appoint an ambassador to Dantooine 8. Hopes to change U.S. Constitution so that the President can dissolve the Senate and let regional governors have direct control over their territories, letting fear keep the local systems in line 7. Almost has the hang of that "choke people through telekinesis" trick 6. Suggested new hairstyle to Hillary: Big buns on sides of head 5. Diverted almost 70% of Pentagon budget into secret project to build him a sail barge 4. Embarrasses daughter in front of friends by standing on White House balcony, extending gloved hand, and yelling "Chelsea....I am your father!" 3. Lip-synched last three addresses to Congress while James Earl Jones crouched behind podium and read speech 2. More and more frequently, he refers to partisan attacks as "Jedi mind tricks" 1. Has had words "Air" and "One" removed from presidential airplane TOP TEN MOMENTS SENATOR PALPATINE WISHES HE'D BEEN THERE FOR 10. Snatching up Luke's lightsaber in the Wampa cave 9. Flipping the Tractor Beam back on after Obi-Wan left 8. Shoving Vader right off the Cloud City gantry after Luke 7. Tying Luke's laces together before he leaped out over the Sarlaac 6. Stepping on Luke's fingers while he hung from the Cloud City weather vane 5. Unhooking Luke and Leia's rope in the Death Star core shaft 4. Cranking up the speed on the Trash compactor 3. Driving the AT-AT that almost stepped on Luke 2. Showing Wicket what a REAL electric shock feels like 1. "And now, Baby Ewok...You will die!" TOP TEN CHANGES THAT NEW F/X TECHNOLOGY WILL ALLOW LUCAS TO MAKE FOR "STAR WARS" RERELEASE 10) Missing Jabba scene now a song & dance number. 9) Young Luke Skywalker gets to meet President Kennedy. 8) Dewbacks so real-looking they steal the film. 7) Luke will finally yell "Leia" instead of "Carrie" when hopping out of X-wing. 6) Darth Vader suit will now have nipples. 5) C-3P0 now fully functional and programmed in many methods of pleasuring. 4) Lucas now able to add that line where Obi-Wan tells Darth Vader that perceives the force like a spoon tastes food. 3) Can improve destruction of Alderaan scene without blowing up another planet. 2) Puppeteers now able to give Luke more realistic facial expressions. 1) Obi-Wan Kenobi: A founder! TOP TEN ACTION FIGURES LEAST LIKELY TO BE A PART OF NEW KENNER TOY LINE 10) Jabba's Fat Dancing Chick 9) Bespin Luke with Removable Hand 8) Baby Anakin Solo 7) Guy Who Bullies Luke at the Cantina 6) Han Solo in Borg Suit 5) Bobba Fett with Removable Helmet 4) Trash Compactor Monster 3) Lumpy 2) John Dykstra 1) Bacta-Tank Luke TOP TEN SURPRISES THAT ORIGINALLY WAS IN THE ORIGNAL SCRIPT OF STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE 10) Luke and Leia actually a result of Mrs. Skywalker's secret torrid affair with Uncle Owen. 9) Young Senator Palpatine first elected on a lower taxes platform. 8) Special repeat appearance by Jefferson Starship. 7) Darth Vader really did kill Anakin Skywalker; just lied to Luke to gain his sympathy. 6) Anakin's wife to be played by Genevieve Bujold. 5) Aunt Beru actually a hero of the Clone Wars. 4) Mon Mothma used to bulls-eye wamprats in her T-7 3) One word: Pakleds 2) Boba Fett actually Luke's third cousin. 1) Before being horribly scarred, Anakin Skywalker really looked like James Earl Jones, too. TOP TEN WAYS MICHAEL JACKSON WOULD BE COOLER IF HE LIVED IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE 10) Due to high loss-of-hand rate, wearing one glove is fashionably acceptable 9) Would not have needed huge effects budget for "Captain EO" 8) In shocking revelation, he might have really been the father of Billie Jean's son 7) Could really walk on moons 6) After skin-altering disease, could become Light Lord of the Sith 5) Could ease tensions between Empire and Alliance with anti-violence message of "Beat It" 4) Imperial breath mask could give him the deep voice he never had 3) Improved medical technology could make new nose and chin more realistic 2) Would have sure-fire hit with Sy Snootles duet 1) Would strengthen characterization of movies by making Luke look manly TOP TEN HOBBIES OF DARTH VADER 10) Making prank "heavy breathing" phone calls 9) Sneaking up behind Star Destroyer crew members, covering their eyes, and demanding "Guess who?" 8) Practicing throwing Palpatine doll down pits 7) Genealogy 6) Using the force to learn to juggle 5) Mortal Kombat 5436 4) Using mind-reading ability to win at Battleship 3) Late nights with a pain droid 2) Sending anonymous love-notes to Mon Mothma 1) Checking Imperial Deli to see if they've named a sandwich after him yet _______________ Not back yet... I'll come one day, I hope... The madman formerly (and still) known as Tito! Coming to take back my title as "Most insane 'person' in the JA" It's the bizzi, wizza, jizzi, Wizzil, Bizon, wizzay, Wizzat, fizzil ¶°TiTo°¶ - All work and no play makes Tito burn the bacon! - Officially cured from spamming!!!
This comment was edited by TiTo (inactive) on Mar 15 2003 04:36am. |
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Plo Koon - Student 
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ROFLMLO too! Laugh-out-loud!
 _______________ Free Tibet! Click this link,and learn Here too |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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hehe _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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hehe _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Fizz of Belouve - Student 
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Rolling On The Floor Laughing So Hard I coughed A Lung out.... oh my god....  _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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