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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Jul 27 2025 10:42am

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

Poll
Are these jokes funny?

vote results
Yes!  Keep 'em coming! Yes! Keep 'em coming! [195 votes] [63%]
No!  My dog tells better jokes! No! My dog tells better jokes! [19 votes] [6%]
Some yes, some no. Some yes, some no. [55 votes] [18%]
I have no sense of humor.  What's a joke? I have no sense of humor. What's a joke? [41 votes] [13%]

< Recent Comments Login and add your comment! Previous Comments >
Comments
May 31 2004 10:53am

Mookie
 - Ex-Student
 Mookie

I was the one who referred that to you, Jake! Shame on you! :D

May 31 2004 10:52am

_cmad_
 - Ex-Student
 _cmad_

b00000 you impostah!!!!

Quote:
<Jake_Kainite> ah ha ha
<Jake_Kainite> I'm gonna do soemthing cool....
<Jake_Kainite> I'm gonna post that on the jokes forum and say its mine :D


b0000 bash thief :P http://www.bash.org/?329409
_______________
Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow.

May 31 2004 10:33am

Jake Kainite
 - Student
 Jake Kainite

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

_______________
Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased)
Descended from a line of great Jedi
Will argue any point of view from any side :D


May 30 2004 09:18pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

A neutron walks into a bar
"I think I left an electron here last night"
the bartender replies
"Are you positive?"

:P
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


May 30 2004 08:43pm

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

HAHA that's a so-bad-it's-good joke, billy :D

and ROFL @ shang

and not sure what to make of bail's joke yet :P
_______________
make install -not war

May 30 2004 08:34pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"


_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


May 30 2004 02:28pm

DJK
 - Student
 DJK

i dunno if i shall find it funny...since its too bad for the hen....hmm, maybe its just me:(

May 30 2004 01:40pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

this one is great

Credits to Javaguy

Quote:
I just keep thinking about what would have happened if he had called a suicide prevention hotline.

Guy: I'm thinking about killing myself.
Counselor: You don't want to do that. No matter what is wrong with your life, it can't be so bad that you'd be better off dead.
Guy: I had sex with a chicken.
Counselor: Try cyanide.


_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


May 30 2004 01:24am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

And, the Number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word...

"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton, 1997
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

May 29 2004 02:41pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

Quote:
ROFL :D

_______________
- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

May 29 2004 01:00pm

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

ROFL :D
_______________
make install -not war

May 29 2004 06:14am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

2nd - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head - JFK, 1963
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

May 28 2004 11:06pm

DJK
 - Student
 DJK

ROFL:P:D

May 28 2004 11:04pm

3th
 - Retired
 3th

"Man this lag is horrible! It takes me 3 days to respawn!" -- Jesus
_______________
this is the internet, be serious damn it!

May 28 2004 05:10am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

3rd - "What the @#$% was that?"

- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
(no offense to Japan just a joke) :)
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

This comment was edited by Shang Chi on May 28 2004 05:11am.

May 27 2004 06:38pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

4th - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

May 27 2004 03:47pm

DJK
 - Student
 DJK

lol, more like a lag:);):D:P:cool::alliance::empire:

May 27 2004 07:26am

Sared
 - Retired
 Sared

Being drunk is like having a really low framerate.

-DX2 quote file
_______________
I'm crazy, not stupid.

May 26 2004 06:57pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

LOL :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


May 26 2004 06:30pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

LOL @Sared & Shang Chi!!!

A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.

On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:

Dear Madam:

Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;

1) it had never been occupied

2) that there was plenty of heat

3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady. Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


May 26 2004 05:20pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

5th - "Where the @#$% are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

May 26 2004 03:26pm

Sared
 - Retired
 Sared

A man walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 25-cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.

A middle-aged, fairly unremarkable man in a gray suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but just barely) the man carefully takes hold of the kid's testicles and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 25-cent piece, which the man catches in his free hand. Releasing the boy, the man hands the coin to the father and walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him. The man looks embarrassed and brushes off the father's thanks. As the man is about to leave, the father asks one last question: "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before -it was fantastic - what are you, a surgeon or something like that?"

"Oh, good heavens, no", the man replies, "I work for the IRS."


G'day to yall, have a good one. :P
_______________
I'm crazy, not stupid.

May 26 2004 03:31am

Garos
 - Student
 Garos

LMAO SHANG
Those are great :D:D:D

May 25 2004 09:31pm

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

oh man that first one was just nasty...
_______________
make install -not war

May 25 2004 09:12pm

SolidSnake[JAS]
 - Student
 SolidSnake[JAS]

hey guys these jokes are gr8 i got a few i only read the 1st page so i hope im not repeating myself
joke 1 : a kid finds a condom on the floor picks it up and puts in his pocket, when he gets home he asks his dad whats this dad? his dad(embarrased of what to say quick replies with) thats a doughnut son. the next day dad sees his son and asks him so son what did u do with that doughnut son replied : well dad i sold it for 15p but before i did i sucked the cream out of it .

joke 2 : what is the first thing blondes do when they wake up in the morning

answer : go home

hope u like em
_______________
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