| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
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I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?" _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Duncan, don't spam man ... use your posts for actual jokes ... do as I do from time to time ... use google and type in: "Funny joke" It works! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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i think i speak for everyone when i say...... WTF?!? _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment  DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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JamesF1 - Student 
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Thanks for that, then, Duncan. _______________ Website |
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Eica - Student 
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I didn't get any of those _______________ Former padawan of RoseRed |
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Duncan Frost - Student 
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LOLROFLLMAOLSHIDLSISM! _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Duncan Frost - Student 
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lshism lshism lshism lshism _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Duncan Frost - Student
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lshid lshid lshid lshid lshid _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Duncan Frost - Student
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lol lol lol lol lol lol lol _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Duncan Frost - Student
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lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Duncan Frost - Student
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rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl _______________ Owner of Jedi_Pimp's 800th comment, possibly by accident. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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haha!  _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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OWNED! _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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The Dragon Reborn - Student 
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LOL!!! _______________ Padawan to Solitude "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to... suffering" -Jedi Master Yoda "I shall not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone i will turn my inner eye to see its path. Where fear has gone there will be nothing. Only i will remain." -Bene Gesserit Litany, Dune |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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ROFL _______________ make install -not war |
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Eica - Student 
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bbbbbbbbbump A middle aged women decides to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," was the reply. "I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and ask the counter girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a Drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are." They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay,..... how old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts and removes his hands and says, "Madam, you are 47." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,...how did you know?" The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's." _______________ Former padawan of RoseRed |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger
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Quote: The Rodeo Position Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy, "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's." Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds. Similar to that, from bash.org: Swedish Rodeo - same thing, but with a Swedish girl, and what you whisper in her ear is: "I have AIDS." _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on TV. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their TV set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the TV, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead." _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it Is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth." Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my Index finger. Now learn to pay attention." _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar, both getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down. "My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she replied. "What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man. "She told me that I was too kinky for her, too!" The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have so much in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to have kinky sex. When they get to her house she turns to the man and says, "Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable." She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather, jet black dominatrix outfit. However, as she's coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting on his coat and walking out the door. "What happened?", she said. "I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?" He looks at her and says, "Well, I just screwed your dog and shit in your purse. I'm done." _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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There was a man who worked for the Post Office... whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses .One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds,he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day,all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later,another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. It must have been those thieving ******* at the Post Office. Sincerely, Edna _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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Aiddat - Student 
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I'd die before I'd let myself be cremated. Hahahaha! (Seriously I wouldn't want to be cremated.) _______________ -Aiddat, the Gran with the green blades. "You have a right to be angry, but believe me when I say you don't want to feed that emotion." - Kyle Katarn {Owner of Liso Jowol's 550th comment, Conchris Chaotic's 80th, 150th and 350th comments, Pink Floyd's 200th comment Tyrant's 695th comment, D@RTHM@UL's 10600th comment}, accidentally tricked Pink Floyd into giving me his 1700th comment, I also have Alexander D'Kana's 1950th comment, Mindrith Pride's 1850th comment and I used the same accidental trick on Lewis's 100th comment, and I have Aiddat's 1992nd comment (birthyear), and #Elmo's 450th comment. Unsuccessfully tried to prove Senor Hat's theory wrong. Click for screenshots. Padawan of R2-D2. |
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Anubis - Student 
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The Rodeo Position Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy, "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's." Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds. _______________ Andrew is my manwhore and I totally <3 him. || Proud owner of SilkMonkey's 3700 comment |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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**WARNING - JOKE IS EDGY AND MAY OFFEND SOME** A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you, I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!" _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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An elderly couple decides to get some ice cream. The old man opts to go alone and asks his wife what she wants. “I want a banana split,” she says. “Are you going to remember this, or should I write it down?” “No, no, I’m sure I can remember,” the old man replies. “I also want chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry with whipped cream and sprinkles. You sure you’re going to remember all this?” “Yeah yeah, I’m not that old,” exclaims the increasingly agitated husband. “And don’t forget the cherry on top,” says the wife. The old man leaves for the ice cream and returns three hours later with a bag of bagels. His wife, looking confused, surveys the order and exclaims, “So where the hell is my cream cheese?” _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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