| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who has given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A man is sitting in a plane which is about to take off when another man with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside. The dog takes the middle seat, and his handler explains that they work for the airline. "Don't mind Rover," the handler says, "he is a sniffer dog, the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne and I set him to work." The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Rover, search!" The dog jumps down, walks along the aisle and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm. He says, "Good boy!" He turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this, and the seat number, for the police who will apprehend her on arrival." "Fantastic!" replies the first man. Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles. The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat and places both paws on the handler's arm. The handler says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of this, and the seat number." "Wow!" says the first man. Once again, the handler sends the dog to search the aisles. Rover goes up and down the plane aisle and after a while sits down next to someone, and then comes racing back, jumps up onto the seat, and craps all over the place!!!!! The first man is surprised and disgusted by this, and asks, "What the heck was THAT for???!!" The handler replies, "Looks like he found a bomb." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student
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A man walks into a bar next to an extremely hot girl and immediately looks at his watch. She says, ''Is your date late or something?'' He says, ''No I just got this magic watch.'' "What does your watch do that is so amazing?" asked the lady. "It tells me what is happening." "What does it say now asked the lady." "It says you're not wearing panties." "Well your watch is wrong, I do have panties on." "Sorry, my watch is one hour fast. LOL at Silk _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
Garlic bread?! |
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Ryu - Student 
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LOL _______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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LOL Bubu for also-official JA jokemaster. And Shang.  _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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Alex Dkana - Staff 
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lol  _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years." _______________ make install -not war |
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Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between thehours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. |
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Alex Dkana - Staff 
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lol silk and hehe Ken heard it before of course but nice one  _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
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Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
There are two blonds on their way to disneyland in their lovely brand spanking new convertable car. They get a tad lost but come to a crossroads which says 'Disneyland: left' So they go home... |
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Eica - Student 
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Lol, funny, but since when do you store pet birds in paper bags? _______________ Former padawan of RoseRed |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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Two fellas from rural Minnesota walked into a pet shop in Minneapolis. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of the big cliffs by a lake. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 100-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE! PART TWO: Moments later, Knut arrives up at the cliffs. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hey, Ole. Watch dis," Knut says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watches as half way down, Knut takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Knut continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either." BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE! PART THREE: Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more, Ole shakes his head..... "First der was Sven with his budgie jumping.... den Knut parrotshooting.... and now Lars is hengliding." _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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Good one Bubu. And don't discourage people from posting jokes, just cuz you might happen to think mine are funnier. Cuz then it becomes MY thread, as opposed to OUR thread  _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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Ryu - Student
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ROFL!!! _______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. |
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Bubu - Hubbub
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A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?" "What! Are you crazy!" "Don't worry, it will be quick," he ensures his girlfriend. "No! Someone might see us..." "It's just a small blowjob," he insists, "and I know you like it." "No! I said no!" "Baby... don't be like that." Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom." _______________ make install -not war |
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DarthMike - Student 
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eh kenwan, leave the joking to silk _______________ "You can't get Windows on a Mac because the drivers are not compatible." --- Some dude from the Geek Squad "So if you have quad-core, you have four times the RAM, right?" --- Some guy at Best Buy |
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Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
Q. A man walks into a bar A. Ouch |
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Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
Q....Did u hear about that wizzard? A....He went out with a poof *silence* D'oh!  |
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Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
Ok....heres one u all WONT KNOW...(heh)..*says in hypnotic voice* IM SURE YOU WILL ALL LIKE IT! Q...How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker had for Christmas? A....He felt his presents HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....um....i hear silence?! WHy isnt anyone laughing? Meh... |
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Ryu - Student
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ROFL!!! silk ur awesome! _______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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A US Army soldier sat in a bar with his head in his hands having just finished his first day of Airborne training. His buddy sat down on the stool next to him and asked him what was the matter. "I just finished my first day in Airborne training and it didn't go too well", he sighed. "What happened?", his buddy asked. "Well, we got over the jump zone, the green light came on and we all hooked up to the jump line. We shuffled to the door and when it was my turn, I just froze. I couldn't jump." "What happened then?", his buddy asked, concerned. "Well the jump sargeant started yelling at me. He said, Boy, if you don't jump right now, I'm going to shove my fist up your ass!" "Did you jump?" "Well, a little at first" _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room. Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room. Marriage- When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room. Love- When intercourse is called making love. Lust- When intercourse in called screwing. Marriage- When intercourse is a little town in Pennsylvania. Love- When you argue over how many kids to have. Lust- When you argue over w ho gets the wet spot. Marriage- When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids. Love- When you share everything you own. Lust- When you steal everything they own. Marriage- When the bank owns everything. Love- When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. Lust- When the relationship is over if you don't climax. Marriage- When.... uh.... what's a climax. Love- W hen your heart flutters every time you see them. Lust- When your groin twitches every time you see them. Marriage- When your wallet empties every time you see them. Love- When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. Lust- When all the songs on the radio determine how you do it. Marriage- When you listen to talk radio. Love- When breaking up is something you try not to think about. Lust- When staying together is something you try not to think about. Marriage- When just getting through the day is your only thought. Love- When you're only interested in doing things with your partner. Lust- When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner. Marriage- When you're only interested in your golf score. Love- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk. Lust- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex. Marriage- When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement. Love- You only leave the house for coffee and doughnuts. Lust- You only leave the house for condoms and Vaseline. Marriage- You only leave the house when you're allowed _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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What a bucking fitch... Hilarious though. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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PWNT _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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