| Can Not Stop Laughing HAHHAHAHA | |
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Shar - ex-Student  |
From this when forum trolling don't think ive ever laughed so hard in my life.
>>>Chili Cook Off >>> >>>If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope >>>for >>>you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. >>> >>>(I've read this probably 5 times and it never fails to reduce me to tears >>>of >>>laughter). Hope it does the same for you!!! >>> >>>If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third >>>judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know >>>how >>>true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time >>>Halloween >>>comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San >>>Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named >>>Frank, >>>who was visiting from Springfield, IL. >>> >>>Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili >>>cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I >>>happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions >>>to >>>the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assur ed by the other >>>two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, >>>besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I >>>accepted." >>> >>>Here are the scorecard notes from the event: >>> >>> ***************************************************** >>> >>>CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI... >>> >>>Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. >>> >>>Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. >>> >>>Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy #*%@, what the hell is this stuff? You could >>>remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the >>>flames >>>out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>> >>>CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI... >>> >>>Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. >>> >>>Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken >>>seriously. >>> >>>Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what >>>I'm >>>supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted >>>to >>>give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they >>>saw >>>the look on my face. >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>>CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI... >>> >>>Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. >>> >>>Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. >>> >>>Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels >>>like >>>I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me >>>more >>>beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is >>>in >>>the front part of my chest. I'm getting #*%@-faced from all of the beer. >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>> >>> >>>CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC... >>> >>>Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. >>> >>>Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or >>>other mild foods not much of a chili. >>> >>>Judge # 3 -- I felt something sc*@@**# across my tongue, but was unable >>>to >>>taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, >>>was >>>standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to >>>look >>>HOT. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>>CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... >>> >>> Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, >>> adding >>>considerable kick. Very impressive. >>> >>>Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit >>>the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. >>> >>>Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I >>>can >>>no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed >>>paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili >>>had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring >>>beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips >>>off. >>>It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. >>>Screw those rednecks. >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>>CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY... >>> >>> Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of >>> spices >>>and peppers. >>> >>>Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. >>>Superb. >>> >>>Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, >>>sulfuric flames. I #*%@ on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will >>>eat >>>through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that >>>Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow >>>cone. >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>>CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI... >>> >>>Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. >>>Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of >>>chili >>>peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about >>>Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing >>>uncontrollably. >>>Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I >>>wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds >>>like >>>it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid >>>unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. >>>At >>>least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to >>>stop >>>breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. >>>If >>>I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>***************************************************** >>> >>>CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI... >>> >>>Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold >>>but spicy enough to declare its existence. >>>Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor >>>hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed >>>out, >>>fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if >>>he's >>>going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot >>>chili? >>>Judge # 3 - No Report >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> ROFLMAO ! _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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| Comments |
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Shar - Ex-Student 
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Mental Images always involves having seen something prior of the same kind   _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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Everon - Student - The winner!!! 
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Please don't involve tongues, your putting images in my head. Another reason why you should lose your imagination at an early age  . (Hehe joking).
Wasn't such a bad joke but didn't make me laugh but brought a smile  .
Good find! - Zeke. |
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Shar - Ex-Student
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Agreed lets all do that
*Stick tongue out at Saz* _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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That was pretty funny ^^
UKer here. *sticks tongue out at Saz* _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment  DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Shar - Ex-Student
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He probably meant everyone outside us. _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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SaZ - Student 
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im not englishman or USman >.>
<.< _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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Shar - Ex-Student
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That might explain the initial responses _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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Mic Den Octela - Student 
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It's a good lol.
Note: Its not going to amuse us English peeps as much as it'll amuse an American.. Culture tastes and whatnot _______________ -Padawan of Virtue -Brother of Menaxia, *|irael, Krynn Adept, Majno, Ris Win Juljul, DaMi3N, Beowulf, Dash Starlight, Carrock and Yuken Zalak Bartender at Munes bar. Sir Mic of Nippledom! Proudly beating Wang, since '07. (Crackdown) |
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Shar - Ex-Student
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Guess some good came from it then _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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Sho Koon - Student 
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Well you succeeded in my case. I truly was laughing hard. _______________ Proud owner of Malak's 50th and special 300th, Alex D'Kana's 3600th and 4000th, Laziana's 200th and [Jawa][Obi-Wan][SW]'s 1300th comment. |
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Shar - Ex-Student
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Sry for trying to make people roflmao  _______________ Bored of Psu Back to Gw I apologise in advance to all the people that will take offense to me saying my opinion. |
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planK - Jedi Council 
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Quote: gave me a smile, but far from rofl.
Truthz. You made me read that for nothing omfg. DIE OK. |
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SaZ - Student 
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gave me a smile, but far from rofl. _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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