| Dawnfire blade | |
|
Carbonel - Student |
The man spat out his cigarette the ninja lunged killing him instantly. He picked up the guards gun cocking the rifle and took a shot killing a driver in a jeep as it trundled along its path then two more shots killing the passenger and gunner he dropped the clip and rifle then the cigarette hit the ground. Slowly an automated
turret turned and fired a round the ninja deflected the shot with his blade. The turret cycling its chamber fired again clipping the ninja in his thigh. Swearing softly the ninja crouched lowering his hand to his thigh it glowed white for a second and was healed. He took out a throwing knife and threw it at an approaching rifleman hitting him in the eye socket. The man fell to ground drowning in his own blood. The ninja kept going taking the guards rifle shot the turret and kept shooting other turrets so they didnt catch him by suprise. He went inside the structure and picked up a turret lifting it off its tripod with ease turned into the barracks doorway and shot everyone in there to pieces. He turned around and walked out the door as the ari behind him shimmered. and turned around and said "So even my kind wants to kill me now? So be it show yourself coward". The air shimmered again and another ninja appeared and said "you will die now dawnfire". "Why because I took an old trinket and Im using it to dispatch our enemies"? he said. No that katana jato is cerimonial and its an insult to use it we're more angry about the prototype plasma sword you took" gesturing to the handle on my right thigh. I just took what was rightfully mine". I know its yours Im not here to kill you unless you dont give me the plasma blade. " Will not happen" said Dawnfire. "Then you will die" he said unsheathing his twin blades. In the blink of an eye he was cut in half by the ninja named dawnfire "Fool the energy blade is mine and noone else will have it. Then he opened up a small pocket in his armour and took out a communicator and said "this is dawnfire commence the assault then an explosion rocked a wall dawnfire ran towards the explosion to see if he could help the advance force. good I guess the army got the drednaughts I ordered. huge battlesuit was walking through THROUGH the wall it looked to its left and span its assault cannon and opened fire the rounds made huge holes in the infantry they his. then a jeep drove towards it at a slow shamble it walked towards the jeep and smashed it to pieces with its right arm making a huge dent killing the driver then it flamed the gunner and passenger with its flamethrower. then a small squad of infantry ran forwards and opened fire with their rifles killing some enemies they ducked behind a wall. the enemies crouched behind a wall shooting accasionally with their rifles. the armor spanged of the drednaught it span its assault cannon up and managed to fire three rounds before a ninja leaped in and attached a limpet mine to its hull it blew up. Dawnfire then ran after the ninja activating his blade and his other katana in his left hand. he sliced with his other sword. then the other ninja then activating his own energy sword it wasnt as good as mine but still it was good I sliced with my plasma sword. Killing him. then I turned around i took my rifle out and killed the pilot of a small gunship which then crashed into the wall which was furiously contested between my squad then the other enemy. Crushing them both. Then the entire force came through the main gate a man with a rocket launcher shot it at a small bunker which contained and he knew this a load of fusion cores which contained excess power which was used to power the bases facilities like the automated gun turrets but not in use was unstable and made an amazing pyrotechnics show. A tank rolled through the gate fired its cannon at a machinegun nest blowing it up. Its turret fired its machinegun mowing down a load of infantry. A small transport gunship then landed on the roof I knew carrying I knew ninjas armed with swords shotguns and small Submachine guns so they could destroy the enemies inside the main base to crumble their morale. As the tank was trying to take a small mountain with yet another wall a missle pod was fired and destroyed it by now the other gate was opened which another tank and two dreadnaughts walked and rolled repectivly through the drenaughts were armed with missle launchers and laser cannons the missles opened fire exausting half a clip from each. the tank then fired its cannon opening a huge hole in the main base which now was smoking incredibly from the battle within. Then a small squad of devestators had taken controll of a tower and were firing their lasers and rockets destroying enemy emplacements with huge effect. I then retreated having done what i did best the advanced force for armies and sometimes their commander When I got back to our base after commandeering a small one man phantom a hovering fast attack vehicle I learned that we had taken the base and secured the nukelear warhead. This post was edited by Carbonel on Nov 20 2007 02:42am. |
| Poll | ||
Is my writting good or not
|
| Login and add your comment! |
| Comments |
|
Augusta_Mintaka - Student 
|
Could use some minor touch-ups. _______________ "Deos fortioribus adesse." |
|
KHSenatu - Student 
|
needs better care for the story line to btw whatws the plot u gotta hae a plot showing at the 3rd sentence i don't see it _______________ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHgmY1eRjvU |
|
Maher - Jedi Knight 
|
Grammar issues... oh hecky, you are better than me...
Quote: It doesn't flow at all, and there's nothing unique about it.
Disagree... For sure It doesn't flow, which makes it unique....  and that's also why I interested to read it... _______________ Still here | My Lightsaber |
|
SaZ - Student 
|
you can still fix it lol _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
|
Carbonel - Student |
Hey this is my first time writting something for fun otherwise its in english class lighten up a little. |
|
KHSenatu - Student
|
see thats why i said it was boring _______________ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHgmY1eRjvU |
|
Komence - Student 
|
Yeah, the first sentence itself is a paragraph. Use more periods, commas, etc. to make it flow better. |
|
SaZ - Student
|
Quote: You seriously need to work on your grammar, dialogs, and overall writing style. It doesn't flow at all, and there's nothing unique about it.
yeah it doesnt flow... the very first sentence perfectly shows what we mean _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
|
Komence - Student
|
You seriously need to work on your grammar, dialogs, and overall writing style. It doesn't flow at all, and there's nothing unique about it. This comment was edited by Komence on Nov 17 2007 12:27am. |
|
Carbonel - Student |
its a rough And thanks very much
|
|
The Killer 9000 - Student 
|
its not bad make them eaiser to readf thou like by adding spaces and lines
otherwise i like it!  _______________ "I am Neither Light nor Dark but rather gray, i have embraced both paths of life, and it has made me stronger..." |
|
Carbonel - Student |
Don`t get angry at me because of the spelling |
|
Carbonel - Student |
And now there is more |
|
Carbonel - Student |
Ill try to make more soon |
|
Carbonel - Student |
sry thats all I got and if you dont like it dont read it lol |
|
KHSenatu - Student
|
boring to me _______________ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHgmY1eRjvU |
|
SaZ - Student 
|
moar _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
| Login and add your comment! |