| Stupid People Stories | |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones  |
I figured its been a while since I've done the jokes thing and now that I'm working/killing time till grad school (yay for becoming a teacher)...I present my latest creation: stupid stories of people.
First story: I currently work at a movie theater. During my orientation I noticed a guy wearing pink pants come through and kind of look around confused (after the ticket-taker had pointed him in the correct direction). He wonders down the hall towards the bathrooms (which is clearly marked as RESTROOMS). He turns around a few seconds later and darts into a random theater (which I think was showing Get Smart). This pink-panted gent re-emerges and comes over to the customer service desk where I am ignoring the orientation. I offer to direct the obviously lost guy and he gets kind of offended and defensive for no reason. The boss noticed it and pulls the guy away from us folk and the guy walks down the other hall towards his theater. The boss returns and whispers in my ear: "No wonder he didn't want your help, he's going to Sex And The City". :-P Anyway, these can be stories of people at your work, people you've seen/heard in shops, etc. Have at it! _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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| Comments |
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none - Student |
Okay so I'm over at a friends house and we're playing madden. Than zach is telling me that there's a french foreign exchange student that will be at his house the next week. its supposed to be a girl and he's convinced, being the suave, macho man that he is (yeah right) that hes going to do her. so a week passes and I'm out volunteering at our animal shelter on farmers market when who should I see walking down the sidewalk but Zach, next to him was a boy with black hair. he passed my booth and said "oh hey Austin this is that foreign exchange student from France I was told you about. he stared as me for a second than they left. I got up, went inside the building to the bathroom, locked the door, and laughed my head off. _______________ none |
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EAF_fencer3 - Student 
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A few years back, someone in my high school stole a few monitors from the library after hours, and then sold them on eBay under his real name. _______________ |"Evacuate? In our moment of Triumph? I think you overestimate their chances."|"hurray broccoli!" -Tarpman| |Godson to Carve|Ward of Flamori|Brother to Gunrow| |
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JavaGuy - Student 
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I believe most banks have a policy that if somebody tries to rob the place, the cashier is supposed to hand over the money even if he does not have a visible weapon.
_______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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none - Student |
a guy walked into a bank wearing a ski mask, clown boots, a purple sweater. he walked up the cashier, pulled out a paper bag, finger gunned the woman and said "give me the money, and no funny stuff"
It's true! _______________ none |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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Haha...oh JavaGuy how you amuse me. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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JavaGuy - Student 
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Credit card thief caught: He signed his real name instead of the name on the stolen card.
[edit: spelling] _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. This comment was edited by JavaGuy on Sep 06 2008 04:49pm. |
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JavaGuy - Student
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Hostage-taker sends the hostages on a beer run.
_______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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Carve - Student 
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I got a million o' these.
Sometimes at work I'm standing in the stairwell and it has a door on the left and right side, usually one is closed and one is open. You aren't allowed to carry any glassware inside the stairwell. People walk up to the open door holding a glass and I say, "Sorry, you can't bring your glass in here." They say oh ok turn around, walk around the stairwell, and try to walk in the other door.  _______________ © |
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JavaGuy - Student
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Quote: how desperate can you get?
Sounds like he's married.  _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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none - Student |
how desperate can you get? _______________ none |
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Lian Del Rey - Student 
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Lol, yeah. The GM sounds so unprofessional. Way to go Funcom.  _______________ slorp |
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JavaGuy - Student
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LOL @ the transcript. Very creepy.
_______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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Sho Koon - Student 
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I just read this article:
http://www.g4tv.com/e32008/blog/post/688118/Age_Of_Conan_GM_Fired_After_Cyber_Sex.html' Lol? _______________ Proud owner of Malak's 50th and special 300th, Alex D'Kana's 3600th and 4000th, Laziana's 200th and [Jawa][Obi-Wan][SW]'s 1300th comment. This comment was edited by Sho Koon on Aug 17 2008 09:10pm. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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LOL
Good one.  _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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none - Student |
no he left his license when he stole the cigarettes. wasn't very hard to figure out who he was., only reason i know that is i work at the police station _______________ none This comment was edited by none on Aug 11 2008 02:09am. |
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JavaGuy - Student
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Well, he left somebody's license...
_______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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SaZ - Student 
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Quote: yesterday i was returning my rented rug doctor when a guy goes to the counter to but a packet of cigarettes. the cashier asked for his license. he handed it to her and, while she was checking the license he grabbed the cigarettes and left without paying. rofl idiot
he left his license? xD _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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none - Student |
yesterday i was returning my rented rug doctor when a guy goes to the counter to but a packet of cigarettes. the cashier asked for his license. he handed it to her and, while she was checking the license he grabbed the cigarettes and left without paying. rofl idiot _______________ none |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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Luckily for me, the registers at work do the math for me. I mentally check out about 5 minutes after clocking in so it's beneficial.
Funny story though Java. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SaZ - Student 
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the worst thing about such people are that when they make a mistake they are angry at you for some reason.
definitely not a good salesman material. _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana This comment was edited by SaZ on Jul 27 2008 08:54am. |
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Lian Del Rey - Student
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Quote: I took my boys to the local dairy bar. Each boy got a soft-serve cone ($1.30 each), and I got a root beer float ($4.10 if you can believe that).
The kid behind the counter punched in the numbers, then looked me right in the eye and said with a straight face, "That will be $15.85." I stared back at him for what seemed like forever, then said "How do two soft-serves and a float make $15.85?" I kid you not, he answered "Well the float is $4.10 all by itself." I see. I asked if I could see the receipt, so naturally their machine doesn't print receipts. I was beginning to wonder if this kid could possibly be this stupid, but yes indeed, he was. Finally he punched in the numbers again, this time getting it right. The whole time he seemed absolutely astonished that I didn't take him at his word that it came to more than fifteen dollars. He absolutely did not understand what could possibly be the problem and seemed amazed when he finally discovered that he had made a mistake. It was like the ability to grasp basic arithmetic was a super-power to him. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids! _______________ slorp |
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JavaGuy - Student
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I took my boys to the local dairy bar. Each boy got a soft-serve cone ($1.30 each), and I got a root beer float ($4.10 if you can believe that).
The kid behind the counter punched in the numbers, then looked me right in the eye and said with a straight face, "That will be $15.85." I stared back at him for what seemed like forever, then said "How do two soft-serves and a float make $15.85?" I kid you not, he answered "Well the float is $4.10 all by itself." I see. I asked if I could see the receipt, so naturally their machine doesn't print receipts. I was beginning to wonder if this kid could possibly be this stupid, but yes indeed, he was. Finally he punched in the numbers again, this time getting it right. The whole time he seemed absolutely astonished that I didn't take him at his word that it came to more than fifteen dollars. He absolutely did not understand what could possibly be the problem and seemed amazed when he finally discovered that he had made a mistake. It was like the ability to grasp basic arithmetic was a super-power to him. _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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none - Student |
Quote:
Quote:
In another cinema-related story...
I was coming out of a movie a few years back (Star Wars ep. 2, coincidentally), and I noticed there was this little girl standing in front of the popcorn butter machine with a soda cup, filling it up. I'm thinking to myself, "wow somebody really likes butter on his/her popcorn." And then, I watched in horror as she took a swig  ewww that lady must have some serious health problems.....probaly the best story yet _______________ none This comment was edited by none on Jul 25 2008 02:00am. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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Gross.
I've had people that I've had to ask if they wanted some popcorn with their butter. Common response: no. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SaZ - Student
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Quote: In another cinema-related story...
I was coming out of a movie a few years back (Star Wars ep. 2, coincidentally), and I noticed there was this little girl standing in front of the popcorn butter machine with a soda cup, filling it up. I'm thinking to myself, "wow somebody really likes butter on his/her popcorn." And then, I watched in horror as she took a swig ewww _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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