| The Five Stages Of Drunkenness And Sobering Up | |
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Acey Spadey - Student  |
Drinking Stage 1 - Clever: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always right. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong. This takes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER. Stage 2 - Attractive: This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun. Stage 3 - Rich: This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you are still CLEVER so, naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, in the knowledge that you are clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person present. Stage 4 - Invincible: You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because you are now INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength. You have no fear of losing this battle, because as well as being INVINCIBLE you are CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway. Stage 5 - Invisible: This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do anything, because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them for the same reason. You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know all the words. Sobering Up Stage 1 - Stupid: As you regain consciousness and begin to enjoy the headache, the churning stomach and the cold sweats you realise that you have lost not only several hours of your life but also the ability to concentrate on anything whatsoever. You are now STUPID and will remain so for a minimum of 12 hours. Stage 2 - Ugly: Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom mirror first thing you are horrified to discover that you have now become even UGLIER than you previously thought possible. Not only have you bloodshot eyes and a glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much that your grandfather probably looks healthier.Unfortunately you are still too STUPID to know better than to try and shave whilst shaking. Stage 3 - Poor: Having crawled out of bed and got dressed you are about to shamble out the door when you discover that the money that was to last you the week is now missing from your wallet. Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened to it but the traces of curry on your clothes allow the possibility that you might have treated everyone to a takeaway at some point. Alternatively your pocket could have been picked or you might have given the taxi driver a fifty by mistake. Rationalising that you couldn't possibly have been that STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to believe that you were the only one who bought any food or drinks all night and start to loathe all your friends. Stage 4 - Fragile: As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, your consequently FRAGILE self-esteem plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical condition ensures that you feel liable to shatter if anyone even speaks to you. Stage 5 - Conspicuous: This is the final stage of sobering up. Unfortunately, everyone can spot this CONSPICUOUS condition and its cause from a great distance. Even worse, they know that they can complete your misery by making fun of you, and that you are too STUPID to retaliate, too FRAGILE to hit them,too POOR to bribe them and too UGLY to hide. All this lovely information was brought to you from the website http://www.rupissed.com/ _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes This post was edited by Acey Spadey on Jun 01 2003 12:14pm. |
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are you drunk now?
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| Comments |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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Baileys is gooooooooood  _______________ make install -not war |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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geef mij maar een Baileys _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Marcel Mandarijn - Student 
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Biertjûh ? |
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joca_bt - Student 
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Interesting..... _______________ - Son to Helen Catherine ;p - Random bash.org quote: X: you know what google earth needs? | Y: More 3D buildings? | X: ion cannon button |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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*hands MoS some Visine and a Twinkie* _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This comment was edited by Battlin' Billy on Dec 12 2003 06:11pm. |
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MINDofSIN - Student 
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The more you smoke...the longer your high...and no hangover Wooohooo _______________ Jedi Academy Holocron http://jaholocron.ryanmh.com/ Why should our government send our soldiers to foreign soil to protect freedom of speech, when our freedom of speech is being taking away everyday by the same government. |
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Roan Belouve - Retired 
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For more extracts from my Autobioraphy go to ....... remember that the more fun (alcohol) you have the more you have to pay (Hangover) but it's a good balance. _______________ *Bro to Vaxxla,Padawan of FiZZandOdan-Wei Part of the mighty Belouve Dynasty-Knight of Nippledom.Twin of Selphestal!**Proud Master to Kaelis and Acura Friend to anyone who would call me the same . Pic by the amazing Majno (merry)
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Nobel - Ex-Student |
lol, i cant drink i'm like 13 years old  -Nobel _______________ Quote: Fizz: Omg, one of aratans paddies  Bro to: Jacen Aratan, D@RtHM@UL, Sednox And Bail *w00t* !Quote: Darkwood: There is no luck in JK2, only when Jacen wins a duel
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MINDofSIN - Student 
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I've been permafried since Thursday. _______________ Jedi Academy Holocron http://jaholocron.ryanmh.com/ Why should our government send our soldiers to foreign soil to protect freedom of speech, when our freedom of speech is being taking away everyday by the same government. |
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Ulic Belouve - Student 
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WHAHAHAAAAA!!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!! _______________ Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace. |
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Fonz - Student 
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/me slaps Plo_Koon_Sai unless you were being ironic in which case i'll give you a drunken hug and tell you that "i love you man" *sighs* - drunken stages i know you well *sighs - sobering stages - really don't have much of a clue what's going on cos i don't bother getting up for the entireity of the day - it's not worth all the hassle of being poor and ugly - stay in bed and start drinking again later - that's my advice (except to alcoholics like FiZZ - he should just keep drinking like he says). _______________ Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. |
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Plo Koon - Student 
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who the **** would want to drink,its rotting wheat in water and plus you feel like crap afterwords _______________ Free Tibet! Click this link,and learn Here too |
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Jacen Aratan - Student |
I don't drink, but I'm not too young (legally, yes, half a year too young, but in reality, no, they don't check). |
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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hehehee.. new pollage action on thread _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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I skip over Stage 4 on the drunken list. I've never been in a fight in my life, even at my drunkest. Yeah for Happy Drunks! _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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JavaGuy - Student 
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All fear me, for I am clever, attractive, rich and invincible! Moreover, you will not be able to strike me in a duel because I am invisible! Actually, being invisible kind of makes it hard to benefit from being attractive, but no matter! _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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Fizz of Belouve - Student 
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hehe just read mags post yeah, mag, same here - coz I just keep on drinking _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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*claps hands and throws Acey a bone* _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Fizz of Belouve - Student
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lol im am stuck in drunk phase 1 _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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Hèlèñ¢å†hè®îñè - Student 
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never truer words said lol.....well apart from the shaving in my case lmao _______________ Treat others the way you expect to be treated
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Lian Del Rey - Student 
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So true.. I gotta show my friend this... Thanks! _______________ slorp |
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La Magra - Ex-Student |
All the effects of drinking are right but the sobering up I don't have much problems with |
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