| Reasons why the human race is doomed | |
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Fonz - Student  |
Got this in an email the other day: In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sear's hair dryer: ..Do not use while sleeping. (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: ...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?). Anyone got any others? _______________ Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. |
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| Comments |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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LOL@Java! You got a pair of brass ones, eh? I've seen some of these b4. They're all hilarious!!! _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Rainer - Student |
In a Wal-Mart dressing room... This is not a bathroom! The bathrooms are located on the opposite side of the store. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart. -------- That was disturbing... anyways... -------- I was once in a bathroom and there was this big sign on the wall that said, "Do not throw paper towels in toilet." Well I took a paper towel, dried my hands.... and there were no trash cans in the bathroom at all! _______________ The Jedi formally known as Ranja. ---------------------- "I can list among my experience and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks." - Jesse James |
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Fonz - Student 
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I got a really bad deal on my genitals: The warranty only lasted 6 months  - i'm screwed now aren't i? (or: i'm not screwed now - whichever is funnier  . _______________ Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. |
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JavaGuy - Student 
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I busted my chainsaw doing that. _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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Muad'dib - Student 
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I remember the day I tried to stop a chainsaw with my genitals...  That was not a very happy day.  Now I always read the warning labels before doing ANYTHING with my genitals. _______________ "It's because I love you. No. It's because I love you" Oh, Anakin, you're eloquence is second to none. I AM THE OPIATE OF THE MASSES! |
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Marcel Mandarijn - Student 
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seen them already, some r quite funny |
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Nero - Student 
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someone has come up with the idea of a lantarn on solarpower _______________ -Nero Quote: Curious, Smartass, what else? |
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Fizz of Belouve - Student 
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well, thats just applicable to the US, coz I havent seen such weird signs on products over here... maybe thats because im illiterate, who knows  things started to get really nasty for me when I heard that theres an insurance company that insures you against being silly sued in the US..... weird _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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 - Student |
You know, it's funny...the pub across the road from my flat has a condom machine in the male toilets that says "WARNING : Do not use these products whilst driving!" |
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NofrikinfuN - Retired 
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lmao Great stuff Fonz.  Seriously... Who used their genitals to stop the chain? lol |
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JavaGuy - Student 
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When you brush a toddler's teeth, you can't use regular toothpaste because he'll swallow it, and the flouride is bad for him. So there's special toothpaste for toddlers. When my boy started getting his teeth, I ran out and bought a tube of toddler toothpaste right away. The label says "non-toxic" and "safe for children" about fifteen times, just in case you don't get it the first few times. In the fine print it says, "Keep out of reach of children." _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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crazy_hacker - Ex-Student 
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lol _______________ if at first you dont succeed, try and try again. if you still dont succeed, youve just wasted a whole lot of time trying something you just cant do
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