| An Ode to Customer Service | |
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Sared - Retired  |
I have a little problem, so I call you on the phone I'm given numbered options - to punch them each by tone. After hitting number 7, then 2, 8, 6 and pound A short recording tells me that no operators can be found. They're busy helping others and would I hold this once? Because my call is SO important. What am I? A dunce? My call's not so important that I'll spend an hour on hold, While my shoulder aches, my patience bakes and my coffee grows green mold. Nothing your recording says can cause me to believe That my call will be taken in the order it was received. So down I put the telephone and up I pick the modem To find solutions on your site, and once found, download 'em. I calmly wait while DNS looks up your URL Until your server answers your home page front door bell. I wait for frames to paint themselves, my solution to begin. And then I wait for plug-ins so I can see your logo spin. I wait to get an audio file - greetings from your CEO He doesn't get the Internet, but he loves the radio. I wait until a picture of your building is on my screen And I realize there are things that should not be heard nor seen. Finally, there's a menu and I poise my mouse to click... But first, a Java applet! "Starting Java." I know that won't be quick. The menu choices indicate you know yourselves full well. You know all about your company and that's what you want to tell. But where's the button I can push, that takes me to the page That solves my problem? Feels my pain? And soothes my mounting rage? There, in the lower corner, down by the copyright There's a little tiny icon that looks as if it might Be a link to customer service. My troubles soon will quit! I click upon it and I get... a 404... Oh, sugar. And when I finally reach that page that promises relief. I'm staring at a document that's far beyond belief. For where there should be answers to frequently asked questions And online help and knowledge-bases, is naught but indigestion. For there in type italics, underlined and bold Is the number for your help desk phone. I should have stayed on hold. _______________ I'm crazy, not stupid. |
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| Comments |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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OMGosh m00  _______________ Website |
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Thomasooo - Student 
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LOL, Sared! You were screwed mighty!  _______________ In the navy and LOVING it!
Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris! 
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Achilles - Student 
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*applause* /me snogs Sared (Where did that come from? hehe) _______________ Padawan to the great Katan JA Brother to D@RTHM@ULR.I.P. Vladarion, may he find peace in the afterlife. |
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Sared - Retired 
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Thank you! Thank you all! Thank you! </ham> _______________ I'm crazy, not stupid. |
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Cheta T. Must - Student 
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noice *claps* |
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Steinin - Student 
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The company sounds like microsoft. _______________ 362 Ohi on! |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student 
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eek the way you described your connection to the site it nerdish enough. /me stamps "nerd" on sared. /me welcomes sared to the n3rd group heh Cool poem  _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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Sared - Retired
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Oh no, what for should I ask....? _______________ I'm crazy, not stupid. |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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it's so true... looks like Kainite has some competition coming up! _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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hehehe cool _______________ make install -not war |
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Orion - Retired 
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haha awsome _______________ When a Man lies he murder's some part of the world. These are the pale deaths which men misscall there lives. All this I cannot bear to witness any longer. Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home? -Cliff Burton Owner of Smily's 1900th comment | <Lady_Catherine> i love your sexy white socks! | (Lady_Catherine) i adore u! | (Lady_Catherine) onion (Lady_Catherine) i lub u |
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