| Proof that anyone can get a law degree | |
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Fonz - Student  |
These are statements taken from court reports, apparently word for word, and thereby constitute living proof that absolutely anyone can get a law degree ..apart from me of course, i'm too lazy to get one   Q. What is your date of birth? A. July fifteenth. Q What year? A. Every year. Q. What is the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A. Where Am I Cathy? Q. And why did that upset you? A. My name is Susan. Q. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A. Yes. Q. And what were u doing at that time? Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have u performed on dead people? A. All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q. Doctor, before u performed the autopsy, did u check for a pulse? A. No Q. Did u check for blood pressure? A. No Q. Did u check for breathing? A. No Q. So, then, is it possible that the patient was alive when u began the autopsy? A. No Q. How can u be sure, Doctor? A. Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q. But could the patient have been alive nevertheless? A.. It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes. Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q. What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's vagina show? A. There were traces of semen. Q. Male semen? A. That's the only kind I know of. Q. Did you ever sleep with him in New York? A. I refuse to answer that question. Q. Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago? A. I refuse to answer that question. Q Did you ever sleep with him in Miami? A. No. _______________ Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. |
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| Comments |
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3th - Retired 
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Quote: One I read a couple years ago: Q: Is your appearance here pursuant to a summons served on you by the plaintiff? A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work. LMAO  _______________ this is the internet, be serious damn it! |
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Fonz - Student 
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Alive and twitching FiZZ - just finished my dissertation on Friday - got another assignment and exams coming up tho  but the good news is i finish early this year as in the 18th May so come that date i can be a little more active.......well let's fact it active period tried to restrain myself from posting cos when i start i don't stop and then i get no work done, but i was far too bored and i couldn't resist; these cracked me up too much  _______________ Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. |
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Fizz of Belouve - Student 
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weeeeeee fellow FiZZonZ good to see you'Re still alive _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
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D@RtHM@UL - Student 
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LMAO! Hilarious man |
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Waima - Student 
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LOL _______________ Once a Monkey always a Monkey. But if you aren't crazy you aren't trying. |
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Ulic |retired| - Student 
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I knew some of em already, they're hilarious _______________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam |
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Steinin - Student 
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_______________ 362 Ohi on! |
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Halendor - Ex-Student 
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Good stuff |
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Thomasooo - Student 
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Quote: Doctor, before u performed the autopsy, did u check for a pulse? A. No Q. Did u check for blood pressure? A. No Q. Did u check for breathing? A. No Q. So, then, is it possible that the patient was alive when u began the autopsy? A. No Q. How can u be sure, Doctor? A. Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q. But could the patient have been alive nevertheless? A.. It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere. ROFL! _______________ In the navy and LOVING it!
Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris!
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JavaGuy - Student 
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One I read a couple years ago: Q: Is your appearance here pursuant to a summons served on you by the plaintiff? A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work. _______________ My signature is only one line. You're welcome. |
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Roan Belouve - Retired 
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ROFL! _______________ *Bro to Vaxxla,Padawan of FiZZandOdan-Wei Part of the mighty Belouve Dynasty-Knight of Nippledom.Twin of Selphestal!**Proud Master to Kaelis and Acura Friend to anyone who would call me the same . Pic by the amazing Majno (merry)
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