| 25 ways... | |
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_cmad_ - ex-Student  |
The title was too long, so i put a part of it there. 25 ways to spot a Freshman. 1. Freshmen are the only perky people in your 7am class during the first week of classes. 2. Though many students look lost, freshmen are the only ones to ask where the elevator to the fifth floor is in a two story building. 3. Freshmen think they have time to watch TV and study. (We upper-classmen know that we only have time to watch TV.) 4. Freshmen use the word "Brewski". 5. Freshmen say please and thank you at meals rather than grunt and growl. 6. The freshmen will say "Good Morning Professor " in unison. (The upper-classmen will arrive a few minutes afterward.) 7. Freshmen care about how many classes they've skipped. (Upper-classmen care about how many meals they've skipped.) 8. Freshman sing in the morning. (Upper-classmen don't do anything til noon.) 9. A freshman will still be wearing his high school class ring. (Upper-classmen have long ago pawned their's for beer.) 10. Freshmen call home for more than just money. 11. Freshmen ask you if you're 21, for "no reason". (Yeah right) 12. Freshmen don't stay out late. (Because it's past their bedtime.) 13. Only a freshman can be grounded by his/her parents and be on campus. 14. Freshmen will take the time to shower before a speech. 15. A freshman's alarm clock is set 2 hours before his/her first class even if the class is at 7am. (An upper-classman's alarm lock is set 10 minute before any class after 10 am.) 16. Freshmen make kool-aid and buy cases of soda.(Upper-classmen buy Boone's Farm wine and buy cases of the cheapest beer they can find.) 17. Freshmen will offer you a soda. (Upper-classmen will kill you if you think about their beer.) 18. Freshmen do laundry once a week. (Upper-classmen don't do laundry.) 19. Freshmen respect RAs and think they can help solve their problems. (Upper-classmen avoid RAs to keep away from problems.) 20. A freshman with a car = free taxi for his/her friends. (An upper-classman with a car = a way for him/her to pay for the weekend.) 21. Credit card companies will give a freshman a credit card on the spot, so that as an upper-classman you will be paying for your freshman year adventures. 22. Freshmen will politely ask if you can turn down the volume on your radio. (Upper-classmen pound on the wall.) 23. Freshmen love the cafeteria food. (Upper-classmen eat it because they can't afford a pizza.) 24. Freshmen will dress nicely just to look nice. (Upper-classmen will dress nicely for a court date.) 25. Freshmen will take the time to read this and forward it to their friends. (Upper-classmen will only waste their time writing this.) ------------ 25 ways to confuse your professors: 1. Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene. 2. Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises you to sit closer to the front, tell him/her you can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins." 3. If you have an early morning class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie down on the air mattress with the pillow and the blankets and act like you're asleep. Have the alarm set for about two minutes into class. When it goes off, preferably very loudly, hit the "snooze" button and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class. 4. Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, "Stop writing down all these lies!" 5. Show up to class about ten minutes late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!", and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day. 6. Keep "accidentally" setting fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, or whatever you have handy. Whenever you start a fire, no matter how small it is, start yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run out of the room in a panic. Don't return for the rest of class. 7. Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled you again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class. 8. Wrap yourself in bandages and come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things like, "Why me?" and "Please kill me!" Get up during class, like you're going to miraculously start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone to help you back up. When class is over, say, "I feel better now," leap up, and run home. 9. Come to class with a jar full of angry hornets. Five minutes into class, release the hornets, scream, and run away. 10. Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that you "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily. 11. Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...." 12. Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class more interesting. 13. When your professor gives you a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit. 14. Come to class every day wearing scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who you are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?" 15. Get the whole class to show up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that you can't start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive. 16. Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts. 17. Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that you got confused. 18. Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit. 19. Write your professor a note that says, "I'm going to be about 15 minutes late. Go ahead and start without me." Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window. 20. Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a guitar to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring." 21. Get a monkey, and bring it to class with you. Tell your professor that you've hired the monkey to take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the monkey scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper or take a test, write down things like, "I wish I had a banana" and "I miss my tire swing." Assuming you get a bad grade, angrily fire the monkey in front of your professor. 22. When you have to write a paper, get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on, don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the U.S. Postal Service. 23. Tell your professor that you'd like to interview him/her for a writing class. Get him/her to tell you his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies for the entire class, and your professor. Demand extra credit. 24. Draw hearts and flowers on the backs of your papers and tests. Next to them, write things like, "You're the best, even though you suck" and "You're the worst professor in the world, but I still love you." 25. Start asking questions in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt or stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down. _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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| Comments |
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Orion - Retired 
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hahahaha awsome  _______________ When a Man lies he murder's some part of the world. These are the pale deaths which men misscall there lives. All this I cannot bear to witness any longer. Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home? -Cliff Burton Owner of Smily's 1900th comment | <Lady_Catherine> i love your sexy white socks! | (Lady_Catherine) i adore u! | (Lady_Catherine) onion (Lady_Catherine) i lub u |
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Lackeh- Retired - Student 
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LMAO _______________ A champion is someone who keeps getting up; even when they can't. Founder Of the Jedi Academy Adlut Support Group. PIE!!!!! Padawan of Katan. Brother to MOTREC, DarkDragon, (SKX)DarkBlade, Jacen Aratan, Achilles, Kool_Aide, EvilSquirrel, and Katan's Padawans. |
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HarlequinD'Kana - Student 
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ROFLMFAO wow the last list was so funny _______________ "The strength of a warrior lies in his heart and soul. Weapons can be broken and armour can be sundered, Spirit and wisdom can never be destroyed." padawan of the wise and gifted AngelD'Kana |
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Lego[DEAD] - Ex-Student ![Lego[DEAD]](/image_thumbnail.php?f_type=users&f_width=70&f_height=48&f_image=../banned.png&f_odd=1){kind=small}
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IM A FRESHMAN...IN HIGHSCHOOL THOUGH HEH _______________ AHH YOU ARE ALL NICE LADS |
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Plo Koon - Student 
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they might care that ther parents spend 20,000 dollars a year on them so they can learn something for there LIVES.college is more something to learn great things for your life not money! _______________ Free Tibet! Click this link,and learn Here too |
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Steinin - Student 
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WE DO _______________ 362 Ohi on! |
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Daidalus[JAP] Fisto - Student ![Daidalus[JAP] Fisto](/image_thumbnail.php?f_type=users&f_width=49&f_height=70&f_image=3482.jpg){kind=small}
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/pwned! lol, great one! EDIT: /me is second year in university... but i dont sleep in classrooms  _______________ Founder of the Fisto Family -|- Member of the mighty FiZZsters!! -|- Owner of the second Bail prize for "BAIL RULES!!" -|- I'll never forget you Jaina! -|- Owner of the one and only autograph of Smily -|- SMILY RULES  -|- Owner of the 1000th Comment of the great Kueller -|- Big brother to NarCosT Fisto, and ShadowFax . -|- Proud Padawan of Kueller -|-Sir Daidalus Fisto. Official Historian of Nippledom and server to Menaxia, Queen of Nippledom Quote: fiZZe: "gdamubububugmgmgububugrrrrrdsa?"
This comment was edited by Daidalus[JAP] Fisto on May 27 2004 08:41pm. |
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CuZzA - Student 
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it's somebody in their first year of something. in this case, university/college _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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D@RtHM@UL - Student 
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/n00bmode 1 Whats a freshman?  /n00bmode 0 |
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DJK - Student 
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rofl |
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