| To boldly go where no Jedi has gone before... -Casual - Jan 06 10:16pm | |
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DISCLAIMER: This is the story of a Star Trek fan lost in the midst of a thriving Star Wars community. If you relate in any way to the writer of this article, please contact him because he needs a friend. Together you can face the perils of your predicament by waving your Bat'leths and shouting your Klingon war cries over the deafening hum of those silly plastic bathroom lamps these "Jedis" carry on their waists. Let's start from the beginning of my career as the outcast of Jedi Academy. I was looking for a Star Trek fansite via a popular Internet search engine. If I remember correct, the keywords were "SW community learn". If you're a bright reader, you'll obviously notice that SW is NOT the correct abbreviation of Star Trek. I didn't notice it at the time, since I was so concentrated on building my miniature U.S.S. Enterprise. Anyway, I soon found myself at a weird looking site called "The Jedi Academy". Now, the Star Trek universe is HUGE. ENORMOUS, I'll have to add. To my knowledge, there is a distinct possibility of a race of "Je'dis" existing somewhere amongst the nebulae. Who knows what you can find in the Gamma Quadrant after going through the wormhole near Deep Space 9? Exalted as I was to find this beautiful website, which was obviously a fan gathering for the mysterious race of Je'di (I took that the reason the place was called Jedi Academy and not Je'di Academy was due to a common typographical error resulting from lack of toilet training), I quickly signed up and waited in earnest for my application to be accepted. During my waiting period I rewatched all the episodes of The Next Generation, just so I would be in the zone with all the sophisticated mannerisms of Jean-Luc Picard, the beastlike arrogance of Worf, the sexyness of Councellor Troi and the techincal wizardry of LaForge. I wanted to astound my soon to be new friends with my thorough knowledge of the ST world, its cultures (albeit I had to admit I did not know much about the Je'di) and its idiosyncracies. Soon I got my "Application accepted" e-mail and somersaulted in the air. I browsed the site (without much reading all the nonsense, since I was used to the fact that things about ST are usually that) and found an IRC channel on Quakenet where my new friends resided. So I opened mIRC, waited for the server connection and finally typed /join #jedi-academy. Being the bold explorer of unknown areas of space I stated my purpose, my reason and my ethos, mythos and pathos with the words: [Casual] \\// LIVE LONG AND PROSPER \\// What seemed like a lively chat going on in the channel abruptly ceased. I could feel all eyes turning on me (metaphorically, of course). I was startled. I rechecked my spelling if I had typoed that famous Vulcan greeting and thus made a fool of myself, but no. So I tried: [Casual] What's wrong, my Trekkie friends? Did you take a too long swig out of your Romulan ale? What happened next was a blur. I received a kickban from one of the operators, with the reason: "Go away, Trekkie turd". How nasty. I was in shock. This didn't seem like a friendly place after all. I wrote a post on the forums stating that "I love Star Trek just as much as you guys. I go to sleep hugging my soft Worf dummy and repeat the words of Captain Kirk in the beginning of all Star Trek - The Original Series episodes: To boldly go where no man has gone before". My thread received a lot of attention, and I must say, not all of it was positive. First people laughed at my post, then they sneered, and in the end they made fun of me like I was a frigging Starfleet Academy Cadet. The horrible truth revealed itself to me later on. This was not, after all, a Star Trek community. This was, and I hate to say it out loud, a STAR WARS fan site. I was dumbfounded. I hate Star Wars. I hate those bloody geeks who think they're cool when they can manipulate your mind and wield an extended maglite pretending it can actually cut you. It turned out that The Jedi Academy was a place where you can learn to play a stupid computer game. I respected the fact that they had some idea of "honour", since like my favourite people of all, the Klingons, honour means a lot to me. But they were wussies! They'd BOW before each fight! Now what kind of a brainy military strategy is that? If your opponent bows, you cut off the head. If your opponent says "Good luck, May The Force Be With You", you scoff and say "Today is a good day to die". I've been here for two years now. Why? Maybe I'm such a firm believer in the human soul. I KNOW I can convert these SW geeks and open their eyes to the only true universe out there. I KNOW I can make them drink bloodwine like any battle-hardened Klingon or practise the use of immovable logic like our dear stiffy friends, the Vulcans, do. So far I've had little luck. I'm still the outcast. They still hate me. But they allow me to lurk around since I'm pretty harmless. I've even made a friend or two here, but I haven't seen them around for a while. One of the Council (yeah, they have a frigging COUNCIL of Jedi, how lame) said that the "bots" (I don't know what he meant, maybe it's a Jedi term for a friend) don't have any "server" (more SW jargon) to "host" (I don't even want to guess that one, sounds perv) them. So my friends haven't been around for a long time. But I'm coming out of the metaphorical closet now. I AM A STAR TREK FAN. There I said it. I'm also bloody proud to be one. I know that one day you'll all see the superiority of my conviction. Until then, I can only pray for your souls and hope you have a safe journey to Sto-Vo-Kor (the Klingon heaven) when your time comes. I end this article with the same words I began my career as The Jedi Academy Number One And Only Star Trek Fan Even Though Those Geeks Still Hate Me: \\// LIVE LONG AND PROSPER \\// |
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| Comments |
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Casual - Student 
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Quote: dude... we aren't geeks. ok we are geeks. who ever banned you was a bit mean, but then again you DID call us trekkies. Like I said, I hope that soon you will see just how much I am in the right. If you look deep inside your psyche, struggling through the crusts of geekness, ploughing through clusters of cells all screaming "WTF IS THIS FORCE ANYWAY?", you'll find a little green pointy-eared Yoda getting his ass kicked over and over and over and over again by Mr. Spock. The truth is out there, you just have to find it. And when you do, you'll thank me for it. _______________ Thanks to the human heart by which we live, Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. |
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Darth Bane II - Student 
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dude... we aren't geeks. ok we are geeks. who ever banned you was a bit mean, but then again you DID call us trekkies. _______________ Training began: December 2003 Left the Order: October 2008 Returned: November 2009 |
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Kenyon - Lord of the Dance 
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Best. Article. Ever. |
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Wicek - Nugget 
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Funny  |
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SaZ - Student 
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casual u earn 100 sexeh points for this one  _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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Axion - Student 
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Hahaha, well done Casual.  _______________ Axion - Yeah. |
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Lirael - Jedi Council 
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Wow, if this is what you can come up with at 2am, we'll ASSIMILATE the entire JA before tea-time _______________ I can write my name with my sparkler. My sparkler > your lightsabre |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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ROFL! Loved the part about your friends being bots. Good article! <3 _______________ make install -not war |
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3th - Retired 
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much <3 to the misguided yet always entertaining Cas! _______________ this is the internet, be serious damn it! |
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Jade - Student 
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So....erm.....this isn't a Star Trek fan site...????  Ahem! Nice one! _______________ "You don't know the power of the dark side....Buurrp!" |
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Pink_Mintaka - Student 
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 ROFL |
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Ashyr - Student 
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/me throws Corrilean Ale bottles and fruit in your general direction. j/k, I actually like both Star Wars and Star Trek, if that's possible. But if I had to choose sides, I'd say I'm more of a SW fan. If that's really a true story, lmao, I wish I was there. _______________ Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan |
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Majno - Padawan 
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Lovely article. Funny as hell . \\// LIVE LONG AND PROSPER \\// _______________ " You've just taken your first steps into a larger world. " - Ben. |
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Carrock - Padawan 
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hahahahahaha a pitty that i wasnt on irc when u joined AHAHAHAHAHAHA ah btw May the Force be with you ! _______________ Lady Carrock[Leweroo`s 900th comment][Jaitro`s 50`th & 100`th comment][Tigerclaw`s 200`th comment][proud owner of DaMi3N`s 77`th comment ][Sazabi`s 900`th comment][Mindirith`s 400`th comment][Majnis 1400`th & 1555`th comment][Ris Win Juljul`s 400`th comment yay][Liso`s 2000`th comment YAY][Ris Win Juljul`s 444`th comment ][Yuken Zalak`s 100`th comment YAY][Miguel Zalaks 1`th comment][Sa`Un 100`th comment :O][Zeke Azakura`s 150`th comment > PINK !!!  ][Mindrith Pride`s 1001`th comment][Elmos 222`th comment ][Virtues 1600`th comment YAY ][Ataris 1100`th comment ][Rivian N�dolo`s 800`th comment][*Elmos 4-Zero-Zero`th comment ][Jade Jadi`s 1900`th comment] [Yuki`s 222`th comment Yiha]Wanne download mine awsome*giggles*, DaMi3N's or Dashi`s saber? then click here
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Mindrith Pride - Student 
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lol Cas! _______________ [proud owner of talions 200th, 700th,1111th coment AND 1400th , DJK's 3001th coment! , saz's 400th coment! liso's 800th coment! Kitmitsu Aratan's 1200th comment! Cau's 100th comeent, Alexander's (aka CC) 210th, 888th and 2200th comments! Moriarti's 800th comment , Piccolo's 2000th comment! lirael's 505th comment , Quom Farlance's 120th comment, Alexander's 1800th comment , Eica's 1400th comment , Wicek's 3200th comment lady C's 999th comment, Echuu's 1100th comment, Takaru's 325th and 400th comment, Redeye's 200th comment picc's 3600th comment, Ostith's 50th comment, Elmo's 555th comment] |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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Please tell me you don't honestly believe that this is a true story... _______________ Website |
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Dash Starlight - Jedi Instructor 
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That's certainly a very origional motivation you have there for joining the Jedi Academy Love this article, n1! _______________ The name is Bond. James Bond. |
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Roan Belouve - Retired 
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Unc Mc or is that Casual Picard Is Klingons also known as welsh is sure sounds the same. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU ALWAYS!!!! YOU KNOW IT TO BE THE TRUTH!!!! _______________ *Bro to Vaxxla,Padawan of FiZZandOdan-Wei Part of the mighty Belouve Dynasty-Knight of Nippledom.Twin of Selphestal!**Proud Master to Kaelis and Acura Friend to anyone who would call me the same . Pic by the amazing Majno (merry)
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D@RtHM@UL - Student 
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Hilarious article Casual! |
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R2D2 - Staff 
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LOL, nice one Cas . I see you enjoy waving around your maglight _______________ "Do or do not, there is no try" Jedi Master Yoda Dual Saberist |
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Mic Den Octela - Student 
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Godly interview dude! Godly! _______________ -Padawan of Virtue -Brother of Menaxia, *|irael, Krynn Adept, Majno, Ris Win Juljul, DaMi3N, Beowulf, Dash Starlight, Carrock and Yuken Zalak Bartender at Munes bar. Sir Mic of Nippledom! Proudly beating Wang, since '07. (Crackdown) |
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xAnAtOs - Student |
star trek sucks so much ass _______________ Brother to Luke Skywalker and (SKX) Dark Blade 
Lag Brother to Acey Spadey 
Jools is my best friend.
<Henkes> nebody feeling like abusing me with a lightsaber?|+Smilykrazy grabs Gradius, beats the living CRAP out of him, then throws him into a huge vat of ACID |
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Badger Hat - Student 
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bIjatlh 'e' yImev & naDevvo' yIghoS, trekkie. <3 TNG _______________ RL bro to HawkJedi Chuck Norris pwns!(duh) Proud member of Yeah, it's a hat. |
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Ataris - Milwaukees Finest 
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! 'counselor' is actually spelt with just one L.. and you're teh linguist anyweh.. awesome article nevertheless! I just now hate that I missed this day when you joined. I would so have wanted to be on IRC that day.. -Ataris <3 _______________ [ Honorable mentions: aph3x | Milamber | Bail Hope Belouve | Jaiko D'Kana | Rosered | JediEthic | Mike/JJ/TheKing | Kensei | Dane | Gradius | Thomas Skywalker | Pink Floyd | Setementor | Steinin | Odan-Wei ] [ Owner of: MetaDust's 500th comment! | Eica's 700th comment! | Pink Floyd's 666th, 999th, 1200th and 1337th comment! | DarkRyu's 400th comment! | Redeye's 1st comment! | Cow's 1111st comment! | Rufusan's 75th comment! | Wicek's 3300th and 3400th comment! | Dash Starlight's 2000th comment! | Piccolo's 3400th comment! | Takaru's 300th comment! | Senor Hat's 900th comment! | Rytandus' 4160th comment! | The first ever awarded, the original, the one and only, Catphin Award!!1 ] "Music expresses that which can not be put in to words but can not remain silent." |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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Casual, you're crazy. _______________ Website |
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