| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
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I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Thomasooo - Student 
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*bump* ...wait a minute!  _______________ In the navy and LOVING it! 
Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris! 
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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Quote: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? You can't unload sand with a pitch fork! You sir, are pure evil. Darth Vader is an angel compared to you. Darth Sidious as a dutiful member of the community compared to you. You sir, are pure evil. _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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What do you call a man.... with a spade on his head : Doug without a spade on hishead : Dougless with a seagullon his head: Cliff with a clump of earth on his head : Pete with a tree on his head : Edward (head-wood, get it?) with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool : Bob with no arms and no legs in front of a door : Matt with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves : Russell with no arms and no legs on a hill : Roland with no arms and legs in a fireplace : Bernie with no arms and no legs on a stage : Mike with only half his legs : Neil (ah ha ha, love that one) a girl with one leg : Eileen no legs? : Noleen ( ha ha ha) _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? You can't unload sand with a pitch fork! _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Jake Kainite - Student
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The VE day celebrations were carried out recently, so I've been rinsing this joke... 1st Guy: My grandad died in a jewish concentration camp during the war 2nd Guy: Oh thats aweful! 1st Guy: Yeah, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck! _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Jake Kainite - Student
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Sorry to keep picking on the scousers, but here goes: A gay man walks into a pub in liverpool. At the bar sits a big skin head scouser, rippling muscles, earnings in his ears, nose and lips, tatooes everywhere, a hard bar stud basically. The gay bloke sits down next to him and asks the bar man "Baccardi and coke pleath" Well after a few of these drinks he's a little tipsy so he turns to the scouser and says "oooh you're a big fella aren't you, can I give you a blow job?" At this the scouser jumps up, grabs the gay bloke and starts punching him in the face, he throws him into the wall, kicks him on the floor and finally throws him outside into the street. The scouser walks back in at sits at the bar. The bartender goes: "Woah!, what did he say to you?" The hard man scouser replies "I dunno, something about a job" _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Phantom - Student 
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lmao!!! good one CuZa! _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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CuZzA - Student 
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Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!" _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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CuZzA - Student 
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I don't mean to insult anybody when you are reading the following joke: On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this." _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Thomasooo - Student 
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Good one, Raziel! _______________ In the navy and LOVING it!
Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris!
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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A man was stopped after driving erratically on a free way ''Please take a breathalyser test.'' said the cop ''Sorry dude, I'm asthmatic, it may bring on an attack'' ''Then I will need a urine sample'' the cop said. ''Sorry, I am diabetic so there is gonna be loads of stuff in it.'' The cop got annoyed.''Well then, get out the car and walk across this white line!'' ''Sorry, no can do.''said the man. ''Why?'' asked the cop. ''Because I'm drunk!'' _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Aiddat - Student 
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LOL good one Raz! _______________ -Aiddat, the Gran with the green blades. "You have a right to be angry, but believe me when I say you don't want to feed that emotion." - Kyle Katarn {Owner of Liso Jowol's 550th comment, Conchris Chaotic's 80th, 150th and 350th comments, Pink Floyd's 200th comment Tyrant's 695th comment, D@RTHM@UL's 10600th comment}, accidentally tricked Pink Floyd into giving me his 1700th comment, I also have Alexander D'Kana's 1950th comment, Mindrith Pride's 1850th comment and I used the same accidental trick on Lewis's 100th comment, and I have Aiddat's 1992nd comment (birthyear), and #Elmo's 450th comment. Unsuccessfully tried to prove Senor Hat's theory wrong. Click for screenshots. Padawan of R2-D2. |
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Matej - Student |
lol  |
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Phantom - Student 
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lol _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Lithaerien - Student 
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You all know that Jesus turned water into wine, right? Well, there's this priest who drinks a lot. One day he was driving down the road, and a police man stopped him. The officer steped up and asked the priest if he had been drinking. The priest replied "no". The officer gets closer and smells the wine, then he sees a bottle next to the priest and asks what that was. "Water" the priest replied. So the officer wanted to see that bottle. He let a drop drip out. It was red. Then he tasted it. It tasted like wine. He then told the priest that it was wine. The priest looks up and says "Praise the lord, he did it again." _______________ "The Dark Side? I've been there... Do your worst!" ~Kyle Katarn "Don't force it" ~GeForce |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Quote: will it be kind of offensive if there was a kind of Religiouse joke? :> depends on the joke really you can always try posting one _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Lithaerien - Student
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will it be kind of offensive if there was a kind of Religiouse joke? :> _______________ "The Dark Side? I've been there... Do your worst!" ~Kyle Katarn "Don't force it" ~GeForce |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll just sit and whine about it in the dark. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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Lithaerien - Student
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heh _______________ "The Dark Side? I've been there... Do your worst!" ~Kyle Katarn "Don't force it" ~GeForce |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student
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Teacher: Give me a sentence that begins with ‘I’ Pupil; I is… Teacher: No, you must always say I am! Pupil: Alright then. I am the 9th letter of the alphabet. _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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CuZzA - Student
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from you? now thats a joke _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Jacen Aratan - Student |
Aw, poor Scousey-wousey, are your feelings hurt? Awwwwwww! Need a hug? xD |
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CuZzA - Student
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...erm...yeah i'm from liverpool so i'd stfu if i were you yeah? _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Quesi - Student 
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Something only the British may understand. Feel free to replace 'Liverpool' with any crime ridden area The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Govenment's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from Liverpool. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment. Prime Minister Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour. As most of the races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have the advantage over every team. However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for. At the crew's first practice session the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower. Btw, Raz, your last joke was GREAT _______________ "Your powers are weak old man" || Part of the "Fifth Element Appreciation Society" || Proud possession of Flash [Jacen_Aratan] bleh [Jacen_Aratan] last year of school :p [Jacen_Aratan] after the finals I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [Jacen_Aratan] until I have to go on more advanced education [Jacen_Aratan]  [Acey_Spadey] like kindergarten(Bubu) my sister was quite good actually.. never expected her to be so good (Gradius) yeah, she's great This comment was edited by Quesi on Apr 30 2005 02:29pm. |
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Vasper Ba'xian - Student 
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LOL good 1 _______________ Brother to: Tamal, Kavar, J.D.,Jermia, Devlin, Ulic, Xiabara, Seij,Tarron Mib,>>>ROCK ON .My Spacescapes art page.My Everything Else art page. MY FAV. Jedi Are: Qui-Gon Jinn, Corran Horn, and Anakin Solo. Unofficial Master to Tamal. and Kavar. Founder of the Wuji Hundun Jian saber style. Proud owner of Tamal's 200th comment!//Proud owner of Refl3x's 300th comment!>>>Proud owner of Tyrant's 800th comment>>>Proud owner of Lucky's 170th comment>>>Proud owner of BDKawika's 444th comment>>>To except Existance is to except Reality.
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