| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
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I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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solitude - Jedi Council 
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lmao, theyre funny because theyre true...  _______________ Joined 16 October 2004 | Retired 10 April 2005 | Returned 05 June 2008 | Made Staff 27 June 2008 | Made Council 18 January 2009 Padawan To Odan-Wei Belouve | Adopted into the Belouve family | Twin to xAnAtOs | Owner of the 4th Quesi sexy badge  Brother To Roan Belouve, Nomad, Majno, Silkmonkey, Kensei and Jarhok Belouve
Owner Of Virtue's 1000th profile comment, Mr. Doobie's 1000th profile comment, Gradius' 2500th comment, xAnAtOs' 2500th comment, Rosered's 1500th comment, Laziana's 900th comment, Scythus' 500th comment and Echuu's 100th comment |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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 w00t!!! _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Phantom - Student 
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*Note this is just a joke, no offence to anyone* How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men pass gas more than women? Beccause women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Hitokiri - Student 
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Ahhhh! nasty -.- _______________ Ph34r m1 1337 5k1llz! |
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Phantom - Student
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you". She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party" _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Phantom - Student 
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G1 dragon  _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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The Dragon Reborn - Student 
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Ok, i've got a funnier one; A group of ambassadors, from several countries, are heading across to the United States for an embassy meeting. They are travelling on a private plane, and crossing the atlantic ocean, it becomes apparent that the plane is too heavy to make the journey, and is losing height. The ambassadors decide to throw out the luggage. This helps, but the plane is still slowly falling. Next go the seats, and then the excess fuel. The plane is still too heavy. In a moment of bravery, the British ambassador shouts "god save the queen!" and leaps out of the plane. Still too heavy. The French ambassador jumps up and says "viv la France!" and jumps out of the plane. The pilot informs them that if one more person were to sacrifice themselves, the plane would make the rest of the trip. The American ambassador raises his hand and says "Remember the Alamo!" And throws the Mexican out. _______________ Padawan to Solitude "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to... suffering" -Jedi Master Yoda "I shall not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone i will turn my inner eye to see its path. Where fear has gone there will be nothing. Only i will remain." -Bene Gesserit Litany, Dune |
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The Dragon Reborn - Student 
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Alright, you may all have heard this one, and it's pretty lame but; A man's decorating his christmas tree one year, and he hears a knock on the door. He goes to see who it is, and there is no-one there. But just as he is about to close the door, a small voice says "Hey mister. Down here!" He looks down and sees a snail sat on his dorrstep. Irritated, he kicks the snail down to the other end of the garden and goes back to the tree. The next christmas, as he is sitting down to dinner, he hears a knock on the door. He answers the door, and a voice says "Down here!" He looks down, and the snail says "Why'd you do that?" _______________ Padawan to Solitude "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to... suffering" -Jedi Master Yoda "I shall not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone i will turn my inner eye to see its path. Where fear has gone there will be nothing. Only i will remain." -Bene Gesserit Litany, Dune |
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Phantom - Student
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Thx man I got a million of them _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Vaughn - Student 
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Phantom, thats gold _______________ When you become an actor, you become the person, and you dont act anymore. You just are. - Tyler HP, Taught by Mr G Simpson |
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Phantom - Student
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A College professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all the children the same kind of Lifesavers, one at a time and asked them to identify them by color and flavor. The children began to say: Red..........cherry Yellow......lemon Green...... lime Orange....orange Finally the professor gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them for a few minutes, none of the children could identify the taste. "Well" he said, "I'll give a a clue. It's what your mother might sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and yelled, "Oh, My God! They're a$$hole$!" _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student
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 yes there's loads I have! _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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Whoa, nice one Raziel! _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student
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oooooh scathing! A husband and wife had an argument, and as they were passing a farmyard, he saw a chance for a witty comment... ''Relatives of yours?'' he said to his wife.. ''Yeah,'' she said ''In-laws'' _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Sexistic joke ... I'm not a sexist by the way The difference between a single woman and a married woman? ... 40 pounds What do you do when your wife comes into the living room? ... tighten her chain Again, all in good humor. No offense intended in any way _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student
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Lets have a new joke! What do you do if you see your mother-in-law rolling around in pain on the floor? Shoot her again. _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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lol! And er ozz?......no . Why are people reading so far into it?  _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
This comment was edited by Raziel Anjelis on Jan 26 2005 11:16pm. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to help me!" Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when all of the sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes." The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?" "I push them away." "I see. What do you want me to do?" The patient implored. "Break my arms." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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ozzcoz - Cosplay Nerd 
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The answer to the question about the meaning of life is 42. However we don't know what the question is. (This is all according to hitchikers guide to the galaxy BTW) I think that would be the joke. _______________ A wizard did it. |
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Raider - Student 
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Quote:
Quote: Rofl nice going bail ^_^ even i got it lol As in the idiot sits there wondering what 42 means ^^. DOH!!! omg, that simple? And I was searching for a hidden meaning, lol Whoops! /me declares himself Idiot _______________ Artificial intelligence beats natural stupidity. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student
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ROFLMAO!!! wow that joke went well!! Don't worry bail, in all my generosity ill let you off seeing as its your first offence!! LOL!! _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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Quote: As in the idiot sits there wondering what 42 means ^^. DOH!!! omg, that simple? And I was searching for a hidden meaning, lol Whoops! /me declares himself Idiot _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Scythus Aratan - Student 
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As in the idiot sits there wondering what 42 means ^^. _______________ Padawan to the great Jacen Aratan! <Setementor> Scythus is a genius! Claimer of the 5000th post in the Count thread [Solitude] scy rocks [Casual] good point scythus, you're really smart |
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solitude - Jedi Council
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Quote: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! You got the butt of that joke there Bail . now I'm even more confused ... somebody help me out, please. Mail it to me for all I care. I don't get it  roflmao..ill put you out of your misery. The point of the joke is that the idiot is the person confused by the 42. i.e. the 42 is the punchline as it does not logically follow on from the question, confusing the idiot. well, thats what i though it was anyway, if im wrong we're both gonna be mocked _______________ Joined 16 October 2004 | Retired 10 April 2005 | Returned 05 June 2008 | Made Staff 27 June 2008 | Made Council 18 January 2009 Padawan To Odan-Wei Belouve | Adopted into the Belouve family | Twin to xAnAtOs | Owner of the 4th Quesi sexy badge Brother To Roan Belouve, Nomad, Majno, Silkmonkey, Kensei and Jarhok Belouve
Owner Of Virtue's 1000th profile comment, Mr. Doobie's 1000th profile comment, Gradius' 2500th comment, xAnAtOs' 2500th comment, Rosered's 1500th comment, Laziana's 900th comment, Scythus' 500th comment and Echuu's 100th comment |
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