| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Kir Kanos - Student 
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Great jokes keep them comeing |
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Koyi Donita - Student 
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 These jokes are so funny. I don't know where you guys get them all from. XD _______________ For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Rom. 1:16 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Rom. 10:17 I love my babyface. Smilykrazy is my baby and I love her. ...Swimming through the void we hear the Word, we lose ourselves but we find it all... System Of A Down. 
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Axion - Student 
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Hahah cruel, but funny. _______________ Axion - Yeah. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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Here's an anti-french 1. An Englishman, frenchman and german were captured by and arab tribe. Being kind, the shiekh said 'Seeing as this is ur first offence u won't get death, but ten lashes with a whip. You also get a wish.' The Frenchman asks for a pillow. But it only lasts 2 lashes before it splits and the Fenchman ends up with 8 nasty lashes on his back. The German asks for two pillows. But they only last 5 lashes and he ends up with 5 lash wounds on his back. The shiekh turns to the Englishman and says 'You hail from a most wondrous part of the world. You shall receive 2 wishes' The englishman says 'First, I ask for not 10 lashes, but 100' The shiekh says 'You are brave. What is your second wish?' The Englishman smiles 'Tie the frenchman to my back' _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
This comment was edited by Raziel Anjelis on Dec 09 2004 11:17pm. |
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Rinzler - Student 
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LOL _______________ I fite for teh usars!1 |
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delta - Student 
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ROFLMAO. _______________ ~Dav Proud Former Padawan of 3th |
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Jadan Sibelius - Student 
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President George W. Bush was visiting the Queen of England one day when he asked her, "How do you know if a person is fit to run a country?" The queen turned to Tony Blair who was sitting near them and asked him, "Your mother has a child, it is neither your brother nor your sister, who is it?" Tony Blair replied, "Why, it is me." The Queen turned back to George and said, "If a man can answer that question, he is fit to govern a country." The next week, Bush called Vice President Cheney into his office and asked him, "Your mother has a child, it is neither your brother nor your sister, who is it?" Dick stood there contemplating and after a long pause sadly stated, "I'll have to think about it." So the next day, Cheney called a cabinet meeting to see if anyone could come up with an answer. After 6 hours of studying, debating, and thinking, the meeting was adjourned. Cheney, with heavy heart, was on his way back to the oval office without an answer when he passed Colin Powell, so he decided to ask him. "Hey Mr. Powell, if your mother has a child, and it is neither your brother nor your sister, who is it?" Colin Powell answered, "It's me." Cheney ran to the president's office grinning. "Mr. President, I know the answer to the question!!...it's Colin Powell, it's Colin Powell!" Bush zipped around his desk, grabbed Cheney's shoulders, and began to shake him furiously saying, "No! You're wrong, you fool. It's Tony Blair!"  _______________ Listen twice as much as you talk, and you will learn twice as much as you know. |
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solitude - Jedi Council 
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rofl...i never get tired of that one  _______________ Joined 16 October 2004 | Retired 10 April 2005 | Returned 05 June 2008 | Made Staff 27 June 2008 | Made Council 18 January 2009 Padawan To Odan-Wei Belouve | Adopted into the Belouve family | Twin to xAnAtOs | Owner of the 4th Quesi sexy badge Brother To Roan Belouve, Nomad, Majno, Silkmonkey, Kensei and Jarhok Belouve
Owner Of Virtue's 1000th profile comment, Mr. Doobie's 1000th profile comment, Gradius' 2500th comment, xAnAtOs' 2500th comment, Rosered's 1500th comment, Laziana's 900th comment, Scythus' 500th comment and Echuu's 100th comment |
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Phantom - Student 
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The Queen is visiting one of Australia's top hospitals and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was touching him selft. 'Oh my God,' said the Queen. 'That's disgraceful. What is the meaning of this?' The doctor leading the tour explains, 'I am sorry your Royal Highness, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day they'll explode and he would die instantly.' 'Oh I am so sorry' said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job. 'Oh my God,' said the Queen, 'what's happening there?' The doctor replied, 'Same problem, better health cover. _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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CuZzA - Student 
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A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!'' _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Phantom - Student
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A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan." _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Jadan Sibelius - Student 
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Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes. Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few." The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?" The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl... "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'." _______________ Listen twice as much as you talk, and you will learn twice as much as you know. |
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solitude - Jedi Council 
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arg, wrogn, dirty, and funny _______________ Joined 16 October 2004 | Retired 10 April 2005 | Returned 05 June 2008 | Made Staff 27 June 2008 | Made Council 18 January 2009 Padawan To Odan-Wei Belouve | Adopted into the Belouve family | Twin to xAnAtOs | Owner of the 4th Quesi sexy badge Brother To Roan Belouve, Nomad, Majno, Silkmonkey, Kensei and Jarhok Belouve
Owner Of Virtue's 1000th profile comment, Mr. Doobie's 1000th profile comment, Gradius' 2500th comment, xAnAtOs' 2500th comment, Rosered's 1500th comment, Laziana's 900th comment, Scythus' 500th comment and Echuu's 100th comment |
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Phantom - Student 
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Heres another Rednecks please dont hate me. This redneck couple get married. They go back to the motel after the ceremony, and she changes into a sexy nightgown, lies on the bed, and says, "Be gentle with me; I'm a virgin." At this her new husband bursts into tears, pulls on his clothes, jumps into his pickup truck, and drives home. He tells his father what happened. "Son, you done right," says his pop. "If she weren't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours." _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Axion - Student
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That was awesome. _______________ Axion - Yeah. |
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solitude - Jedi Council
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LMAO, nice one _______________ Joined 16 October 2004 | Retired 10 April 2005 | Returned 05 June 2008 | Made Staff 27 June 2008 | Made Council 18 January 2009 Padawan To Odan-Wei Belouve | Adopted into the Belouve family | Twin to xAnAtOs | Owner of the 4th Quesi sexy badge Brother To Roan Belouve, Nomad, Majno, Silkmonkey, Kensei and Jarhok Belouve
Owner Of Virtue's 1000th profile comment, Mr. Doobie's 1000th profile comment, Gradius' 2500th comment, xAnAtOs' 2500th comment, Rosered's 1500th comment, Laziana's 900th comment, Scythus' 500th comment and Echuu's 100th comment |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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THAT ONE IS GREAT roflmao _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Phantom - Student
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Heres one. The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. Eventually little Johnny's turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, waited a short time and make a second small white dot next to the first. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. 'It's a period,' reported Johnny. 'Yes, I can understand that,' she said, 'but what is so exciting about a period?' 'Damned if I know,' said Johnny, 'but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.' _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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ozzcoz - Cosplay Nerd 
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Nice Shang Chi, very nice. Oh, and please keep it clean people. _______________ A wizard did it. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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It was a nice Colorado afternoon, and the sun was shining. So Joe decided to jump on 470 and cruise around in his new Mercedes Convertible. He had the top down and the wind was blowing through what was left of his hair, the radio blasting loud. All at once Joe noticed a cop behind him, lights flashing. Joe quickly thought to himself, Damn.... and then continued thinking, "Wait a minute I'm driving a Mercedes, that cop is in a Chevrolet, he'll never catch me." So Joe floored the pedal, soon he was going 110 mph, but the cop was still on his tail. Just then Joe thought, "What the heck am I doing?" So he pulled over to face the music. The cop walks up to Joe and said, "It's Friday, 4:59pm and I'm tired. Give me an excuse I've never heard before and I'll let you off with a warning." Joe quickly spoke up. "My wife left me last week for a cop. I thought you were trying to catch me and give her back!" The cop laughed and said, "Get the hell out of here!" and walked back to his cruiser. _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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One day an atheist was walking through the forrest when all of the sudden he noticed a bear just a few yards away. The atheist began running in horror, as the bear began to catch up to him, the atheist cried out "Lord please help me." The lord appeared and said, "After living your entire life refusing to believe in me why should I help you now?" The man understood and asked "Well if you can't convert me, can you at least make the bear a Christian?" With that the bear stopped his pursuit (just a mere 5 feet from the atheist), he then bowed his head and exclaimed "Dear lord thank you for this meal I am about to eat." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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OcarinaLink - Student 
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Why did Michael Jackson rush to Kmart? Because he heard that the boys' pants were "half off". You Jackson fans out there, please don't kill me. I only thought it was funny. ::winces:: _______________ memento mori |
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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ok maybe that one is more the more mature audience, or for british people. Just so you know, wanks are handjobs (pardon my language, I had to explain ) _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Cheta T. Must - Student 
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Quote: A man saw a sign in a shop window: "Pies 50p, wanks £1." i dont et it, but the others 0wn He went in and there was a beautiful girl behind the counter, so he asked if she was the girl who gave wanks for a pound. She nodded, so he said, "Well wash your hands then, I want a pie!" |
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Jake Kainite - Student
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A man is howing off his new flat to his mates. But they're confused by the large gong taking pride of place in the lounge. "Whats that for?" one asks. "It's my Talking Clock", the man replies. "How does it work?" his mate asks. The man gives the gong an ear-shattering blow with an unpadded hammer. Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screams, "For F*!ks sake, it's twenty to two in the f*!king morning!!" _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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