| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
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I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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A man saw a sign in a shop window: "Pies 50p, wanks £1." He went in and there was a beautiful girl behind the counter, so he asked if she was the girl who gave wanks for a pound. She nodded, so he said, "Well wash your hands then, I want a pie!" _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side 
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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A man is driving down a country lane, when suddenly another car comes screeching round the corner. A woman leans out of the car and shouts "Pig!!" The guy is a bit pissed off, so he leans out his window and shouts "Bitch!" He carries on round the corner and crashes into a pig.... _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Garos - Student 
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Teeehehhehee |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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N@TI - Student 
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i dont get it... _______________ Blue! blue stance for ever!!! oh ye : owner of dash's "GOM!!11!! it's purple'" *1800* comment!!! owner of Wicek 3333rd "cool guys use Yellow sabers" post. Kyle Katarn is the new jedi order BattleMaster... meaning he is better then Luke in saber fighting! HA TAKE THAT SKYWALKER FAN's! |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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Quote: A man's four-year old son came home from Sunday school. When he asked the boy what he'd learned that day, the boy was quiet for a minute and then said, "Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?" The father laughed and told him the term was 'circumcised', yet the answer was still yes. HAHA!!! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Cheta T. Must - Student 
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LOL , nice ones shang. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A man's four-year old son came home from Sunday school. When he asked the boy what he'd learned that day, the boy was quiet for a minute and then said, "Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?" The father laughed and told him the term was 'circumcised', yet the answer was still yes. _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Cheta T. Must - Student 
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Three Hamsters Insisted Nobody Knew Green Easter Eggs Kill read all first letters vertically Its an acronym , i think T.H.I.N.K-G.E.E.K This comment was edited by Cheta T. Must on Nov 17 2004 05:07am. |
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Trad Redav - Student 
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ha. haha. very punny... _______________ Well then. Just so you know, just because I don't post often doesn't mean I don't lurk this place multiple times every day... |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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A german sheperd dog walks into the post office to send a telegram. He sais "Wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff, wuff !" "But", the clerk said, "thats only 9 words. you can say one more word without having to pay more." "But", replied the dog, "that would make no sense !" _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Trad Redav - Student
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we have started repeating jokes. This is not good. C'mon, people! My sense of humor is limited to appreciating, and not giving, so i cannot help, but... New jokes! please! _______________ Well then. Just so you know, just because I don't post often doesn't mean I don't lurk this place multiple times every day... |
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Mic Den Octela - Student 
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urdrof has been given enough stick about that joke now lets carry on LOL @ nati  _______________ -Padawan of Virtue -Brother of Menaxia, *|irael, Krynn Adept, Majno, Ris Win Juljul, DaMi3N, Beowulf, Dash Starlight, Carrock and Yuken Zalak Bartender at Munes bar. Sir Mic of Nippledom! Proudly beating Wang, since '07. (Crackdown) |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Quote: Udrof...what the hell was that???   ....*vomit* I agree, keep the jokes civil please  _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Seth C. Belouve - Student 
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Udrof...what the hell was that??? ....*vomit* _______________ Look unto me for I possess the blue flag!! It is more beautiful then I ever imagined! You will now worship me as if I were a god! *smack, dies* I regret nothing, I lived as few men dared dream!! Red Guy from Red Vs. Blue Series |
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N@TI - Student
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here's 1: a guy get drunk in a bar... after he almost faint all dizzy he tries to get up and walk home but he cant... he tries to get up but he fall again and again.. so he starts crowling... after 3 houers he gets to his home and go to sleep not making any noise so his wife wont know thet he went to the bar again. in the morning his wife say to him : hunny you went to thet bar again yesterday... so he asks her : how the (censord) you knew? she says : "The barman calld from the bar you forgot your wheel chair again... _______________ Blue! blue stance for ever!!! oh ye : owner of dash's "GOM!!11!! it's purple'" *1800* comment!!! owner of Wicek 3333rd "cool guys use Yellow sabers" post. Kyle Katarn is the new jedi order BattleMaster... meaning he is better then Luke in saber fighting! HA TAKE THAT SKYWALKER FAN's! |
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Lian Del Rey - Student 
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That's wrong. Nasty! _______________ slorp |
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DJK - Student 
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...Thats just Gross.. |
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ozzcoz - Cosplay Nerd 
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ew _______________ A wizard did it. |
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Udrof - Ex-Student |
there's one : the four survivors(3 men &1 women)landed on the island.The men was raping the women,because she was last women on the island After one month women said: I cant take it anymore! And she killed herself After the month males said : We cant take it anymore ! And they have buried the women's body After the month males said: We cant take it anymore!Unbury the womens body _______________ Im the Dark Traveler |
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DJK - Student 
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ROFLMAO! |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again. _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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Good, Bad and Ugly 1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago. 2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She is a Lawyer. 3. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. 4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. 5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad: You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them. 6. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. 7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. 8. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a gun. Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas. 9. Good: Your son is dating someone new. Bad: It's another man. Ugly: He's your best friend. 10. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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10 Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waistline. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing some kind of “barrier method" can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating my daughter. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, a backhoe, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid, Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. Or a fighter jet over the desert in Kuwait. When my Agent Orange or other things I have been exposed to start acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.- _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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