| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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yes, it's a drink but i've heard several translations but it comes down to these two: a soda with alcohol, or just a soda _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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CuZzA - Student 
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a drink i think _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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What's a soda pop? _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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CuZzA - Student
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'I love the USA! The good ol' U S of A. Amazin country...Anyway, i was in america last week and i walked into a cafe. I asked the bartender guy 'How much are your Soda Pops?' '$1' he said 'Ok...how much are your re-fills?' 'Re-fills? Re-fills are free my friend' 'Really? I'll take a re-fill of Cola then please'   _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world This comment was edited by CuZzA on Oct 16 2004 10:29am. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
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Okay: A man walks into a bar. He sits down and the bartender says "Sorry we don't serve pandas  _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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SaberWeildinKow - Student 
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Quote: 2 quickies.... 2 drums and a tamborine fall off a cliff.....Buh Dum Tsss and... There are 2 boys. Ones drinking battery acid, the other one was eating fireworks. They get arrested and the police verdict was thus.......They charged one, and let the other one off!! Wow...I disapprove! This comment was edited by SaberWeildinKow on Oct 17 2004 11:54pm. |
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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It obviously worked on cuzza then, he must've spent quite a while trying to figure that out 2 quickies.... 2 drums and a tamborine fall off a cliff.....Buh Dum Tsss and... There are 2 boys. Ones drinking battery acid, the other one was eating fireworks. They get arrested and the police verdict was thus.......They charged one, and let the other one off!! _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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CuZzA - Student
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Quote:
Quote: This is How cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is dumb cat this is ass cat this is busy cat don't get it  read the words after THIS IS and before CAT _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband one morning. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. Too MANY! Turn them over. Turn them over NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! Where are we going to get more BUTTER!? Great! Now they're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You never listen to me when you're cooking! NEVER! Turn them over! Hurry UP! Are you crazy? Have you lost your MIND? Don't forget to salt them. You KNOW you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. The SALT! Use the SALT!" His wife just stared at him. "What in the hell is the matter with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I'm driving." _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Quote: This is How cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is dumb cat this is ass cat this is busy cat don't get it _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Cheta T. Must - Student 
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This is HOW cat this is TO cat this is KEEP cat this is A cat this is DUMB cat this is ASS cat this is BUSY cat This comment was edited by Cheta T. Must on Oct 20 2004 03:38am. |
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thedestroyer - Student 
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LOL this thread is awsome!! This comment was edited by thedestroyer on Oct 14 2004 01:28am. |
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DJK - Student 
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Lol |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed! _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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DJK - Student
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LMAO!!!!!! |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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hahahahaa I'm laughing my ass off here!! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A young virginal woman bumped into an old friend on the street. The friend, it seems, had become a prostitute but was too embarrassed to let the superbly naive virgin in on her career choice. As they got to talking, the prostitute reached into her pocketbook for a cigarette and her condom box came tumbling out. Confused, the virgin asked "What are those for?" Embarrassed, the prostitute replied "They're called prophylactics. I use them to stash my cigarettes in when I take my walks. It keeps them dry and fresh." Impressed, the virgin inquired about where to find them. The prostitute told her to simply ask her pharmacist for them. That evening, the virgin did indeed approach her pharmacist. "Can I get a box of prophylactics?" she asked. "What size would you would like?" the pharmacist replied. "Do you have one that fits a Camel?" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student
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Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day, so one day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know? The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early. The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date. The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house. The next day the brunette and redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop. _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Shang Chi - Student
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There are these two guys driving a car. When the guy driving blows right through the red light. "Man, you just ran that red light!", the passenger said. "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver. Well, they continue to drive when the guy went flying through another stop light. "You ran ANOTHER stop light. You are going to get us killed!!!" exclaimed the passenger. "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, the driver said. After a while they came to a green light when the guy stopped. "Why are you stopping?" the driver turned around and said, "Because my brother might be coming!" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Italian Ice - Student 
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_______________ It's funny how many people know they have the right to remain silent, yet never do. |
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Seth C. Belouve - Student 
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I KNEW IT!!!!! Italian...I know exactly where you've been getting your jokes...you dawg you lol _______________ Look unto me for I possess the blue flag!! It is more beautiful then I ever imagined! You will now worship me as if I were a god! *smack, dies* I regret nothing, I lived as few men dared dream!! Red Guy from Red Vs. Blue Series |
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Italian Ice - Student
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Quote: What's going on in the car forums? Mustang forums - - -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me. Civic forums - - -Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me. VW Bug forum - - - The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics) Lamborghini forum - - - Wind noise around 210MPH Miata forums - - - Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics) Chevy Tahoe forum - - -Miata stuck in my undercarriage. How do I safely remove it? (pics) Delorean forum - - - Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985. Crown Victoria forum - - - How come people never pass me on the highway? Honda Accord forum - - - Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims. Toyota Echo forum - - - Do our cars use AAA or AA's? Saturn forums - - - Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace. McLaren F1 forum - - -Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me. Hummer forum - - - Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas. My fav's _______________ It's funny how many people know they have the right to remain silent, yet never do. This comment was edited by Italian Ice on Oct 08 2004 04:23am. |
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Italian Ice - Student 
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What's going on in the car forums? Bentley Forums - - - I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it? Camaro/Firebird Forums - - - My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back. Mustang (Chevelle) forums - - -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me. Monte Carlo forums - - -Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo. Civic forums - - -Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me. VW Bug forum - - - The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics) Yugo Forum - - - When's the last time yours ran? Lamborghini forum - - - Wind noise around 210MPH Miata forums - - - Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics) Chevy Tahoe forum - - -Miata stuck in my undercarriage. How do I safely remove it? (pics) Pontiac Fiero forum - - - Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics) BMW 7-series forum - - - Where to get service on my Rolex? Cadillac forum - - - Problems parallel parking at bingo. Chevy Suburban Forum - - - Is the price of gas going down anytime soon? Buick Forum - - - Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me? Delorean forum - - - Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985. Crown Victoria forum - - - How come people never pass me on the highway? Honda Accord forum - - - Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims. Toyota Echo forum - - - Do our cars use AAA or AA's? Ferrari forums - - - Need suggestions about a business trip to Colombia. Want to get in and out fast. Porsche forums - - - Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself? Saturn forums - - - Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace. Jaguar forum - - - Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on? Mercedes forum - - - My wife and her stink hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court. How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board? Mini forum - - - Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics) Dodge Viper forum - - - I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather? McLaren F1 forum - - -Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me. Dodge Minivan forum - - - Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget where I'm supposed to be? Hummer forum - - - Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas. Fiat forum - - -Hello? Am I the only member? Subaru WRX forum - - - I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot. Chevy pickup forum - - - How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck? SRT Forums "Will this void my warranty" RX7 Forums - - - 13B Groupbuy full, stop PM'ing me. DSM Forums - - -Transmission Groupbuy Full stop PM'ing me Supra Forums - - -Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa. Vette Forums - - -Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier steering wheel? Ford 2.3 forums - - -Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start! _______________ It's funny how many people know they have the right to remain silent, yet never do. |
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Seth C. Belouve - Student 
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Nice!! rotflmfao _______________ Look unto me for I possess the blue flag!! It is more beautiful then I ever imagined! You will now worship me as if I were a god! *smack, dies* I regret nothing, I lived as few men dared dream!! Red Guy from Red Vs. Blue Series |
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