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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Jul 26 2025 01:06am

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

Poll
Are these jokes funny?

vote results
Yes!  Keep 'em coming! Yes! Keep 'em coming! [195 votes] [63%]
No!  My dog tells better jokes! No! My dog tells better jokes! [19 votes] [6%]
Some yes, some no. Some yes, some no. [55 votes] [18%]
I have no sense of humor.  What's a joke? I have no sense of humor. What's a joke? [41 votes] [13%]

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Comments
Jul 09 2004 11:36am

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Battlin' Billy: OMG!!!!! LOL LOL LOL ROFL, best joke today!

Kool_aide: very good one too ;)
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Jul 09 2004 03:18am

kool_aide
 - Student
 kool_aide

2 idiots are walking down the street after a party.
One looks up and says "Hey, is that the moon?"

The other replies "I dunno, i don't live in this neighbourhood."
_______________
I am the "Juice Man" :alliance: Drink up :alliance:

Jul 09 2004 12:32am

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Sorry I've been neglecting the jokes.:(

-----

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar.

The Alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself.

His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, "You know if you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Jul 08 2004 10:31pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."


_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Jul 06 2004 10:10pm

JamesF1
 - Student
 JamesF1

LOL Cuzza! :D
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Website

Jul 06 2004 06:38pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

heard it before urded, very good!
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- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

This comment was edited by CuZzA on Jul 06 2004 06:39pm.

Jul 06 2004 06:37pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

(this is my first proper long joke :D enjoy!

There were 3 women, a red-head, brunette and a blonde.

They walked upto a magic mirror and if they tell a lie in front of it, the mirror will turn them to stone and they will crumble and die.

The Red-head walked up and said 'I think i am the world's most beautiful woman in the world'. She was turned to stone, crumbled and died

The Brunette walked up to the mirror and said 'I think i am the world's most beautiful woman in the world'. She was also turned to stone, crumbled and died

Finally the Blonde walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and she was turned to stone, crumbled and died

:P
_______________
- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

Jul 06 2004 01:39am

Urded
 - Student
 Urded

this is a punctuation joke which i found on the back of a book. Thought it was funny dont know if others will like it.

A panda walks into a café. He orders a samwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the door exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated Wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter tunrs to the relevent entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large Black-and-White bear-like mammal, native to china. Eats, shoots and leaves."
_______________
Mapper a la strange.
Proud owner of SilkMonkey Award for Wishing He Had Menaxia's Best IRC Smile Award.
A Penguin Jedi is Me!


Jul 06 2004 12:41am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

A father spoke to his son, "It's time we had a little talk, my son. Soon, you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound & your hands will sweat. You'll be preoccupied and won't be able to think of anything else."
He added, "But don't worry, it's perfectly normal... it's called golf."


_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Jul 04 2004 09:00pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

James:I try:P;)
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Jul 04 2004 08:33pm

JamesF1
 - Student
 JamesF1

Apo: That was funny because it was lame. And vice-versa :)
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Website

Jul 04 2004 12:49am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

How many questions will be asked in the attempt to be funny?

How Long will this last?

Why am i asking you all these things?

what do you know?

Anything?

Nothing?


CHEESE?!
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Jul 04 2004 12:11am

Ashyr
 - Student
 Ashyr

Who's idea was it to squeeze the jiggly thing on the bottom of a cow, and drink what comes out?
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Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan

Jul 03 2004 08:37pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

Who the hell was the first person to look at a chicken and say 'I think i'll eat the first thing that comes out of it's arse'


:P
_______________
- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

Jul 03 2004 07:45pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.

She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence. "I think I'd throw up."


_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Jul 03 2004 11:11am

Squibit
 - Student
 Squibit

WE want JOKES !
We Want JOKES !!!!

been way more than 2 days :(

:P
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Quote:
fiZZe: its SIR Fizzy Fluffy :p

Quote:
FiZZ[JAK]: that was what I call a counter

Ah, things you only ever expect to hear once :)


Jul 01 2004 05:55pm

Urded
 - Student
 Urded

LoL love the nuns. :):)
_______________
Mapper a la strange.
Proud owner of SilkMonkey Award for Wishing He Had Menaxia's Best IRC Smile Award.
A Penguin Jedi is Me!


Jun 30 2004 06:15pm

JamesF1
 - Student
 JamesF1

ROFL :D
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Website

Jun 29 2004 11:35pm

Ashyr
 - Student
 Ashyr

LOL!
_______________
Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan

Jun 29 2004 11:29pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

There where 3 nuns on a train and they had been talking for some time when they decided to pass the time they decided to tell each other what their greatest sins where.

he first nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and become a prostitute. Of couse I put all the money I earn in the poor box but that is my greatest sin."

The second nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money out of the poor box and drink for one consecutive week."

The third nun was sitting there being very quiet. The other nuns say "Come now, we told you our worst sins, what is yours."

The third nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is that I am a gossip and I can't wait to get off this train."


_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Jun 29 2004 08:32pm

Ashyr
 - Student
 Ashyr

You ruined the joke by explaining it. :P
_______________
Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan

Jun 29 2004 04:01pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Glaucoma is an eye-disease which makes you see bad

Anal glaucoma:
"I can't see my ass coming to work today"
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Jun 29 2004 05:53am

Ashyr
 - Student
 Ashyr

I don't get it.....:(
_______________
Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan

Jun 29 2004 01:09am

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Jun 28 2004 06:58pm

JamesF1
 - Student
 JamesF1

LOL
_______________
Website

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