| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Ashyr - Student 
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New Rules For Employment SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough. YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with ''''''''''''''''A'''''''''''''''' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ''''''''''''''''B'''''''''''''''' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you''''''''''''''''re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees'''''''''''''''' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open. Have a nice week. The Management _______________ Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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fire truck What starts with F and ends in uck?  _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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KkF FREAKFISH - Ex-Student 
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umm fire? |
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CuZzA - Student 
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What starts with F and ends in UCK Fire Truck  _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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Q What are the 3 words that kill a man's ego? A "Is it in?" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Apologetic - Student 
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read shangs: Oops...he swung! fred: F***! read billys: After this one there will be a mass sell out of saddle less horses.... read james: Wife walks in..... _______________ Love GOD and jesus as they love u [move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move] |
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Ashyr - Student
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He's gonna be there for awhile  _______________ Top ten reasons to get a better computer...|My fan |
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DJK - Student 
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HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!! HE GOT PWNED BY HIS OWN MACHINE! ! |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student 
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oic Sucky _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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Sucks to be that guy... _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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After years of milking cows with the traditional stool-and-squirt method, Farmer Giles finds he has enough money to order a high-tech milking machine. The equipment arrives a few days later and, realising his wife is out for the day, decides to test the machine on himself first. After setting it up, he quickly eases his beef bayonet into the equipment and flicks the switch. The sucking teat pleasures him better than his wife ever could, but when it's over the machine will not release his member. In desperation, the farmer calls the Customer Service Hotline. "Hello," he winces, "I've just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but, er, how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" "Don't worry." Replies the rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons." _______________ Website |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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LOL _______________ Website |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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ROTFLMAO!! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in our heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!" Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop, rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan. I told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student
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hahahahahhahahah ROFLMFAO EDIT: Just read Shangs. OMFG ROFLOLMFAO THIS ONE OWNS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA * gets back to his seat and gets new pants * _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. This comment was edited by _cmad_ on Jun 26 2004 11:55am. |
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KkF FREAKFISH - Ex-Student 
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ro0oflmfao omfsp |
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Vasper Ba'xian - Student 
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OMGF, oooh i just picked myself up off the floor!!! _______________ Brother to: Tamal, Kavar, J.D.,Jermia, Devlin, Ulic, Xiabara, Seij,Tarron Mib,>>>ROCK ON .My Spacescapes art page.My Everything Else art page. MY FAV. Jedi Are: Qui-Gon Jinn, Corran Horn, and Anakin Solo. Unofficial Master to Tamal. and Kavar. Founder of the Wuji Hundun Jian saber style. Proud owner of Tamal's 200th comment!//Proud owner of Refl3x's 300th comment!>>>Proud owner of Tyrant's 800th comment>>>Proud owner of Lucky's 170th comment>>>Proud owner of BDKawika's 444th comment>>>To except Existance is to except Reality.
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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ROTFLMAO Shang!!! You owe me a new pair of underwear, that joke made me pee my pants!!! ----- An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. A Native American on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Native American would let out a "Y-e-e-e-e-H-a-a-a-a!" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Native American so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off," the woman answered. "Lady," the attendant said, "Native Americans don't use saddles." _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Garos - Student 
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Hahahahaaaaa |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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haha lol, good one Shang! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
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HAHHA nice 1 shang _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
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Shang Chi - Student
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Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden . . .POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" THEN POOF!....she was gone. After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?" Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows." Dave yells back...... "DON'T SWING FRED!!!" "For God sake, DON'T SWING!!" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student 
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Well, since I haven't posted a joke here in sooo long, here's a lil' quicky: So this guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" If you don't get it....think about it some more  _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider This comment was edited by Gradius on Jun 25 2004 01:43am. |
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Selph Senatu - Student 
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What are two black men in a sleeping bag? Twix! |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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Quote:
Quote: thats a little racist just a little..  ... :/ _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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