| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Jello` - Student 
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So, theres a blonde, a brunette, and a red head on death row. There about to be executed, and the red head is up first. They start saying "Ready, Aim..." but are disrupted when the red head says "Tornado!", everyone frets and the red head gets away. Now its the brunettes turn. Same deal happens... "Ready, Aim...", except she says "Hurricane!" and she escapes too. Now the blonde is up, same deal happening "Ready, Aim..." and the blonde yells.... "Fire!" _______________ Brady Brothers: Orion-Greg, Furi0us-Peter, Me-Bobby. Long lost cousin to Flash. Midbie Council #007. Ex-JAK. |
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Lithaerien - Student 
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There are these girls on a magical cliff. 1 blond and 2 brunets. one brunet says "I heard that if you jump off this cliff and wish for something it'll come true." so the brunet jumped off and yelled out "Hawk!" She became a hawk. Then the second brunet jumped off and sayd "Raven!" she became a raven. THEN the blond decided to take a running jump but tripped and fell down the cliff yelling "SCHEISSA!" You can guess the rest  _______________ "The Dark Side? I've been there... Do your worst!" ~Kyle Katarn "Don't force it" ~GeForce |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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that made me do a faint smile which is much, since I'm down atm... _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A school teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. She gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by color and flavor. The children began to say: ?Red..................cherry," "Yellow...............lemon," "Green................lime," "Orange...............orange." Finally, the teacher gave them all "honey" Lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments, none of the children could identify the taste. "Well," she said, "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spits her's out, and yelled: "Everybody!! Spit them out - they're assholes!!" _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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SedNox - Student 
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alright 1 lil joke form me  says a guy to another: why arent you married. says the other guy: because my mother in law cant have kids!!!! _______________ -Evil Clown- "We interrupt this program to increase dramatic tension." Echuu's 1200th comment, D@RtH N00B's 10850th comment, Redeye's 100th and 150th comment. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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Holy crap! This thread becomes a perm and the jokes are flyin'!!! Keep it up! ----- In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert." The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert." _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Ulic Belouve - Student 
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Gah! 666 comments in the forum. This will be 667 then. Yep. No evil here. Nothing. Oh, and a joke. Hold on... To purify the thread of it's "Number of the Beast", hehe.... Jesus said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life". But John came in fifth and won a toaster. _______________ Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace. This comment was edited by Ulic Belouve on Mar 05 2004 04:34pm. |
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Shang Chi - Student
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. What food reduces a woman?s sex drive by 90%? A. Wedding cake!!! _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Flamori Athena - Student 
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What a woman says: This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now! What a man hears: Blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON, blah, blah, YOU AND I, blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW. _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
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Flamori Athena - Student 
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what's the difference between a porcupine and a sports car? a porcupine has pricks on the outside *** Yo mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. Yo momma is so fat, she had a flesh eating disease, and the docotr told her she had 13 years to live. Yo' mama so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it! Yo Mama is so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paint roller. Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! *** While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President. The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down. That's a post turtle." _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. This comment was edited by Flamori Athena on Mar 05 2004 02:46pm. |
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CuZzA - Student 
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2 blondes walk into a bar... you would of thought the 2nd one would of seen it own3d! _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
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Rosie - Student 
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What makes five pounds of fat look really good? Nipples |
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Rosie - Student 
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hahahaha, Jello u meanie, *looks closely at jello's pic* are u still blonde? |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student 
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hehe _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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Jello` - Student
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One day there was this poor blonde named Sandy sitting at the kitchen table. She was having some trouble putting together a puzzle, so she called her husband into the room. "Its supposed to be a tiger." Sandy said The husband sighs and says "Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box." _______________ Brady Brothers: Orion-Greg, Furi0us-Peter, Me-Bobby. Long lost cousin to Flash. Midbie Council #007. Ex-JAK. |
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monkai - Student |
Garfield: Im am so hot... John:I am so hot.... Garfield:Hot is already taken you have to be cold.. Stupid yes i know Oh and its Hot as in The Tempeture hot |
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Shang Chi - Student 
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A country boy, who has never been anywhere but locally to his cross roads town, married the country girl next door. They went to a motel in the nearest city and got a room. He told the clerk that they just got married. The clerk said, "Do you want a bridle?" The country boy said, "No, I'll just hold her by the ears until she gets use to it." _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Shang Chi - Student
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What do you see when the Pillsbury doughboy bends over? DOUGH NUTS!!!!!!! _______________ Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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rofl Bubu!!! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Thomasooo - Student 
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LOL Bubu! You made me laugh!!! I hate you.  _______________ In the navy and LOVING it!
Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris! 
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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ROFL good ones here's one from me: An old married couple was sitting in their rocking hairs enjoying a beautiful sunset when the old man looked at his wife and said "fuck you!" A few minutes passed when the woman turned and said the same thing to her husband. After about half an hour of this the old man said "I'll never understand why kids today like this oral sex so much!" and also... Where do women have dark curly hair? In Africa. hehehe and this one: When are men at their smartest? When they're having sex. Why? Because they're plugged into the biggest know-it-all in the world. and that's all for today _______________ make install -not war This comment was edited by Bubu on Mar 03 2004 06:58pm. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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w00t!!! Thank you Doobie! I'll post 3 today! ----- Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?" "No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke." ----- A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!" ----- Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," Jack says, "why I hardly know the girl." _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Stimpski - Student 
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ROFLMAOPMP at that joke, Flamori! _______________ Stimpski (formerly known as DeathScythe many, many moons ago.) JA Forum ID - 3988 <insert generic &/OR witty tagline here> |
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Flamori Athena - Student
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I decided to take a day off from work and go golfing. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, ''Ribbit. Nine iron.'' That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a nine iron, and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazing! So I picked up the frog and headed to the fifth hole. I asked the frog what club to used and it said, ''Ribbit. Three wood.'' I used that club and sunk another hole-in-one! I continued an amazing round of golf. At the end, I asked the frog where we should go next. ''Ribbit. Vegas.'' So we went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. ''Ribbit. Roulette.'' So we went up to the roulette table, and I asked the frog how much I should wager. ''Ribbit. Three thousand dollars.'' It was a lot of money, but I ponied up anyway. Needless to say, I won big! I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. Once we were up there, I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. ''Ribbit. Kiss me.'' I figured, what the hell, it's just a frog. So I kissed the frog, and it turned into a 15-year old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, and if I'm lying, my name's not William Jefferson Clinton. _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student 
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roflmfao _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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