| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
| Poll | ||
Are these jokes funny?
|
| < Recent Comments | Login and add your comment! | Previous Comments > |
| Comments |
|
Bubu - Hubbub 
|
You ruined my joke... it was gonna be: Cows who? No they don't! They m00!   _______________ make install -not war |
|
JamesF1 - Student 
|
A buddhist monk goes up to a hot dog vendor... He says "Make me one with everything" _______________ Website |
|
Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
UR ALL WRONG!!!!!!!! ill start again :p KNOCK KNOCK *LOUD KNOCKS ANGRYISH* |
|
Alex Dkana - Staff 
|
Oh Noes!  _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
|
tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
|
COWS WITH GUNS! _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
|
Alex Dkana - Staff
|
Cows who? _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
|
Bubu - Hubbub
|
Cows. _______________ make install -not war |
|
The Dragon Reborn - Student 
|
Whos there? _______________ Padawan to Solitude "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to... suffering" -Jedi Master Yoda "I shall not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone i will turn my inner eye to see its path. Where fear has gone there will be nothing. Only i will remain." -Bene Gesserit Litany, Dune |
|
Kenwan Obiobi - Student |
Knock knock... |
|
SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
|
Heard the first one, liked the second one. Good job Billy. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student 
|
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "They're Carols". ---------- This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven." Next they went out back to see the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free." Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly. "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven." The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your freakin' bran muffins!! I could have been here ten years ago!" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
|
Bubu - Hubbub 
|
The Silk machine strikes again! Nice ones hehe _______________ make install -not war |
|
JamesF1 - Student 
|
Quote: An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to." ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /me falls off chair _______________ Website |
|
SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
|
Well you see JA, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, JA memembers, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers. _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
|
SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones 
|
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first!" _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
|
SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
|
An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to." _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
|
SilkMonkey - Distributor of Cold Ones
|
A Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey you've got a steering wheel in your crotch." The pirate says "Arrrr its driving me nuts" _______________ |-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005) |
|
Raziel Anjelis - Student 
|
Dunno if this has been posted before but what the hey. Two lawyers are shipwrecked on a desert island, and after a long while, they feel the pang of not having one of the opposite sex. Lawyer 1: Holy **** whats that over there? Lawyer 2: Dunno, looks like a woman! And sure enough, a gorgeous blonde naked woman floats up to the beach. Both lawyers are staring at her.... Lawyer 1: Maybe we should... you know....screw her! Lawyer 2: Screw her? Out of what? _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
|
|
Bubu - Hubbub
|
ROFL! Mike's gotta see that one. _______________ make install -not war |
|
darkskye - Student 
|
Camilla bought new shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling. Please remove my shoes. My feet are killing me!" Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge. "Harder!" yelled Camilla. "Harder!" Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so blooming tight!" "Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried. Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!" In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I told you with a face like that, she was still a virgin!" Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!" At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy: once a Navy man, always a Navy man!" _______________ "Out the cat5, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall... nothing but 'Net." Chevron 1 is lit up Proud donator of the forum's 99000th comment
|
|
JamesF1 - Student
|
OLD _______________ Website |
|
CuZzA - Student 
|
What starts with: F and ends with: UCK ? ?? ??? ???? ????? ???? ??? ?? ? FIRE TRUCK =D _______________ - Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world |
|
Jarhok Belouve - Student 
|
lol, poor guy _______________ -JARHOK BELOUVE- Unofficial Paddy to the great Squibit Belouve and Solitudes snog machine! |||||||||||||||||||||||PRONOUNCED JARHOK TEH S3X3H by Alexander D'kana||||||||||||||||||||||||| Loves Liso'sia! Uber new Belouve boy! My special people: Squibit Belouve,Roan Belouve,Bail Hope Belouve and of course the lovely Liso'sia! |
|
Alex Dkana - Staff
|
lmao _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
|
Casual - Student 
|
Hehe, TOP NOTCH BUBU! *still laughing* _______________ Thanks to the human heart by which we live, Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. |
| < Recent Comments | Login and add your comment! | Previous Comments > |