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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Nov 26 2024 07:41pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

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Comments
Sep 08 2005 09:37pm

El Vee For
 - Student
 El Vee For

Silk for president!!

Nice
_______________
“Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.”

Sep 08 2005 03:17pm

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

Hey, I got Shang laughing...awesome. :D
_______________
|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Sep 08 2005 12:14am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

ROFL
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Sep 07 2005 05:24pm

Raziel Anjelis
 - Student
 Raziel Anjelis

lmao
_______________
Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment :D DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th. :D

Sep 07 2005 03:59pm

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

Not for the easily offended

If men wrote advice columns...

Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him it totally selfless. This shows how much he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.

Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A. This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two. It's a great time to clean the house, too! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with is, do it on your own time and ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q. My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
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|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Sep 05 2005 01:05pm

Raziel Anjelis
 - Student
 Raziel Anjelis

yay i win. :P :D
_______________
Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment :D DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th. :D

Sep 05 2005 10:55am

JamesF1
 - Student
 JamesF1

BWahahahahaha :P :D
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Website

Sep 04 2005 12:17pm

Ryu
 - Student
 Ryu

ROFLMAO that was good!!!
_______________
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Sep 04 2005 03:13am

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

ROFLCOPTER!!!

thats hilarious
_______________
|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Sep 03 2005 05:00pm

Raziel Anjelis
 - Student
 Raziel Anjelis

A man was putting flowers on his mothers grave one day. He started back to the car when he heard a moaning and wailing. Following the noises, he saw a man kneeling by the grave saying 'Why did you have to die, Why did you have to die!'
The first man said 'I'm sorry to intrude, but can I ask who you are mourning for?''
The second man wiped a tear with his sleeve and said 'My wife's first husband!'
_______________
Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment :D DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th. :D

Sep 01 2005 12:45am

Cheta T. Must
 - Student
 Cheta T. Must

much <3 to the joka's of the academy.
making my day a joke at a time
*hands out katamaris*
go ahead give em a roll XD

Aug 31 2005 07:53pm

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

Nice one shang. :)
_______________
|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Aug 31 2005 06:38pm

Fenris
 - Ex-Student
 Fenris

Quote:
A Hawaiian Woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees.
The Hawaiian woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker challenged him and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a Canadian tree that was absolutely unpeckable.
The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
After flying to Canada, the Hawaiian woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.
The two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpeckering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.


lol
_______________
OC is my girlfriend and i wub her :D

Kitmitsu is my best fwend. :D


Aug 31 2005 06:35pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

These 2 little boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward the stairs to the bedroom. The father "gets" the message, and they both get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the 2 boys and says, "We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay here and watch TV. We'll be right back, OK?"
The two boys nod OK, and the parents take off upstairs. The oldest of the 2 boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and he gets up and tiptoes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's room and shakes his head.

Back downstairs he goes, back to his little brother. "Come with me," he says, and the 2 little boys tiptoe up the stairs. Halfway up, the older brother turns to the younger brother and says, "Now I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust our ass for sucking our thumb

_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Aug 31 2005 03:57am

Cheta T. Must
 - Student
 Cheta T. Must

beaytiful; lmao.
luv ye silk <3

Aug 29 2005 05:55pm

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

A Hawaiian Woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees.
The Hawaiian woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker challenged him and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a Canadian tree that was absolutely unpeckable.
The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
After flying to Canada, the Hawaiian woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.
The two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpeckering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.
_______________
|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Aug 23 2005 03:16am

Bismarck
 - Ex-Student
 Bismarck

drama
_______________
MYSTERY LINK

Aug 22 2005 07:14pm

Fire
 - Student
 Fire

All of you simma down now, y'hear?

Aug 22 2005 04:38pm

Eica
 - Student
 Eica

In fact both of you knock it off, there's no need for this
_______________
Former padawan of RoseRed

Aug 22 2005 12:06am

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Quote:
placeholder for shitty chain email jokes

oh come on, knock it off
if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Aug 21 2005 10:14pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

Quote:
placeholder for shitty chain email jokes


*sigh* I can't wait until you get banned for your pointless comments and threads

ps: Mind ya language yeah?
_______________
- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

Aug 21 2005 04:02pm

Bismarck
 - Ex-Student
 Bismarck

placeholder for shitty chain email jokes
_______________
MYSTERY LINK

Aug 19 2005 01:14pm

Raider
 - Student
 Raider

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?

A: A cheetah!



You know you're a redneck if you think the last four words of the national anthem are:

"Gentlemen, start your engines!"




A Doctor was addressing a large audience:

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long- term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."





Signs You've Been Partying Too Much

1. With a little effort, you could pull the bags under your eyes over your head.
2. When the professor calls out your name during attendance, you rhythmically cry out "In da' house!"
3. Your dirty laundry has become the closest thing to wall-to-wall carpeting.
4. Every study group you join gets fed up with your need to take a break for techno and grinding.
5. All your stories begin with, "I was so wasted..."
6. Your Native American name would've been "Man of Running Body Fluids."
7. You refer to sunlight as a "that bright sh*t."
8. You look forward to the weekdays as a time to relax.
9. Whenever you see a blinking "Do Not Walk" sign, you think how great it would look if you were on ecstasy.
10. All your stories end with, "...and that's when everything got blurry."
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Artificial intelligence beats natural stupidity.

Aug 17 2005 07:14am

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too!"
_______________
|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Aug 16 2005 06:21pm

Thomasooo
 - Student
 Thomasooo

In this thread we tell jokes! SWOOOSH-COOKIE!!!! :eek:
_______________
In the navy and LOVING it! :D

Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris! :)


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