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manta - Student  |
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Chuck Norris can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris." Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and **** on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". |
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Ryu - Student 
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there u go _______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. This comment was edited by Ryu on Nov 30 2005 01:52pm. |
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Raziel Anjelis - Student 
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*adds manta to list* thats 3 people and counting with silly posts  _______________ Proud owner of El Vee For's 200th Comment, and Wicek's 2600th comment  DaMi3N's 400th, Trad Redav's 666th.
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Ryu - Student
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¬_¬ _______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. |
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Pink_Mintaka - Student 
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/still no comment |
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Rivian Na'Dolo - Student 
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 _______________ What Do We Have To Learn From But Our Mistakes? All We Can Ask For Is Forgiveness. -Chaos~ [Master to Threat Na'Dolo and Trickster Na'Dolo][~Proud Friends~ Trooper, Kensei, RoseRed, Kitmitsu, Gradius, Setementor, Tarpman, Liso Jowol ~] [Owner of Tarpman's 2800th comment][Owner of Thomas Skywalker's 5398th and 5600'th comments][Owner of TreeX's 151th, 250th and 350th comments][Owner of Echuu's 666th and 800th Comments][Owner of JediFire's 123th comment][Owner of Vivi's 107th comment][Owner of Threat Na'Dolo's 100th comment][Owner of CC's 500'th and 1234'th comments][Owner of Kewan Obiobi's 310th comment][Owner of Piccolo's 2400th comment][Owner of Kensei's 3300'th comment][Owner of Liso Jowol's unexpected 2600th comment!] [Owner of the kill-Thomas-whenever-you-want-to certificate!][Winner of the 11000'th comment on Aeth S'kray's Count thread] [Looking for unofficial Padawans To Train]Na'Dolo Site Here. |
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Ryu - Student 
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Quote:
Quote:  i saw that coming lol yeah cuz theres always some1 posting this siley ^_^ _______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. |
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Pink_Mintaka - Student 
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/no comment |
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Alex Dkana - Staff 
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Quote: i saw that coming lol _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
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Ryu - Student
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_______________ Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. |
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Alex Dkana - Staff
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rofl _______________ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield | Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken | Rhaiko D'kana - SWTOR EU Guild Co-Founder | Is it what the teacher, teaches? Or what the student learns? A Dkana |
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Raider - Student 
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Quote: Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. O_O _______________ Artificial intelligence beats natural stupidity. |
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SaZ - Student 
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lol the guy isnt that bad _______________ playing jk3 since 30th of january (2005), member since 1st of february. [Unofficial Master to Vision and Z�diac ] If you can make a fool of yourself infront of 300 people you can do anything - Jaiko D'kana |
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Masta - Jedi Council 
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omg rofl! _______________ Find out more about the Jedi Academy Aurochs here and more about Masta here! Married to Kain. |
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Wicek - Nugget 
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