| Funniest IRC quotes | |
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Eclipse DKana - Student  |
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is. <Zybl0re> get up <Zybl0re> get on up <Zybl0re> get up <Zybl0re> get on up <phxl|paper> and DANCE * nmp3bot dances -< * nmp3bot dances |-< * nmp3bot dances /-< <[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet <tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK <tatclass> er. <tatclass> hi. <andycode> A common typo. <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other. <ohm> damn <ohm> FUCK <ohm> DAMN <ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up <ohm> FUCK <ohm> i go like this to her <ohm> "i want to suck on your clit" <ohm> FUCK <blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed. <FlipTopBx> is it modded? <xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? <Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken. <honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country <Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado <+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself.. <+Christin1> how do i do that <weDge> So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix. fucked up huh? I want to die. <Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses. <Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working. <Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver. <Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth. <Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades. <BombScare> i beat the internet <BombScare> the end guy is hard <@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. <@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?" * ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole - <ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS <Raize> can you guys see what I type? <vecna> no, raize <Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it? <Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC? <Lucent> who? <Thumb> center for disease control <Lucent> i said WHO <Thumb> what? i'm asking you <Lucent> World Health Organization *** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer) *** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax <Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable <studdud> what the fuck is wtf <Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file <mp> i am convinced i am a woman <Oreoboros> mp: Why's that? <mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit <mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain <calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator <ecoli> ew. <ecoli> wait, you "caught" him? <ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store? <Aero> he doesnt answer *** Quits: calin (No route to host) <FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces! <Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face. <ckx> women ask for it <ckx> they act all old and mature <ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass <ckx> and they get all bitchy <ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!" <incarnate> hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now <incarnate> " " <cres> i dont get it <blazemore> i need to find a used ddr 3rd mix machine *** Joins: DigDug (digdug@dialup-63.214.200.78.Philadelphia1.Level3.net) <AlmtyBob> good fucking luck <AlmtyBob> you're looking at $8000 wihtout shipping <AlmtyBob> even used <DigDug> whatcha talking about, bob? <AlmtyBob> a filipina chick <AlmtyBob> the ones you buy in exchange for bringing them to the us <blazemore> my dad is thinking about helping pay for one so we can stick it in an arcade and make some money <django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do? <Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid <blazemore> omg i love this song <blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24) <Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song * dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts * dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha <dregan> Oh shit. <factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single." <factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH. <reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away <reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob <cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs <cristobal> and heat up the door knob <cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer <cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye..... serluny: how long did it took u to learn c? ReDPriest:4.5 minutes serluny:how did u do that? ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do that serluny:what program ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1 serluny:how do i download it? ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com serluny:i cant download it something is wrong <Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. <Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing <Longi> err? <Longi> THING <Longi> someTHING! ::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190) ~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY ::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ... ::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving ::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving ::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving <lungfish> your job like involved relocation AND gay sex <Rottencrotch> wuts ur point <LuftWaffle-away> he didnt want to relocate <FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE <FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES <kolby> you still in english? <Bizzy> say Æ Ø Y <DAL9000> Æ Ø Y <DAL9000> easy to say <DAL9000> f00 <DAL9000> ¸ß <DAL9000> say that. <Bizzy> ¸ß <DAL9000> õ þ <DAL9000> now that <Bizzy> õ þ <DAL9000> now say this: <DAL9000> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е//ߪ§§ <Bizzy> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е//ߪ§§ <DAL9000> bahahaha <Bizzy> what? <Bizzy> damnit <Plot> I was either going to die now <Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast <Plot> someone had the gas nob opened <Plot> I went into kitchen <Plot> switched a bulb <Plot> and wham <Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball <theForger> woah dude <C--> damn <Jyrsija> jesus <ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie. <asr> 'fo sheezy. <Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were. <madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do <maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out <maff> with frosting and everything <madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way <maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge <orion`-`-> what the fuck <orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid <orion`-`-> brbrb <Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic <evenpar123> I think I'm losing it... <Slant> evenpar123: Losing what? <evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality <evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it... <evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..." <evenpar123> It was horrible... <evenpar123> ugh *** civicsi was kicked by Raegen (KK: go away jason) civicsi is jason@adsl-208-188-253-138.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net * Jason Preston civicsi on #cars civicsi using irc2.lightning.net Toca's Miracle civicsi End of /WHOIS list. *** civicsi (jason@adsl-208-188-253-138.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #cars <civicsi> uhhh <civicsi> HOW DID YOU GET MY NAME? <Tokae> we are l33t <Darn> haha he hacked you <KK> shutup jason <civicsi> how did you do that? <Tokae> you will be fuct over jason if you act out of line. <KK> Mr Preston <civicsi> I hope you know that I have logs of all hacking attempts <civicsi> and I WILL forward them to the DOJ [guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ <`rip> when you go into a job interview <`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are <`rip> what do you say <clay> you tell them that youre indecisive <clay> and then stop talking <@Dark_un> is there an actual term for banks lending out money? <@bytraper> loan <@Dark_un> i was thinking of the process <@incorrect> scam <pdksh> jesus h christ <pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off' <pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box. <pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile. <pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her <pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too <pdksh> ... <pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire. <pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college. <dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma <pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge. <bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major? <pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!' <psychicbug> ok, take the bible in a .txt document and open it in notepad. shift every first letter to the right 1, and save it as an .avi. turns out, its a cumshot vid <GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today. <chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication. <chirpet> I am nice to everyone. <chirpet> Always. <chirpet> So shut up. <chirpet> pigfucker. <reuben> you're like people with bumper stickers. <reuben> telling the same lines over and over and over again. <reuben> anything witty is only witty once <reuben> hey <reuben> that would be a good bumper sticker |
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| Comments |
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Ulic Belouve - Student 
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I love bash.org But here are some favorites so I don't have to search for them: #179566 +(336)- [X] <NiM> I went to church with my friends <NiM> and they had all the alter boys being commissioned or whatever its called <NiM> and we pours salt and viagra in the wine <OttoDestruct> LOL <NiM> And like 4 of the alterboys spat out the wine <CF|Okra> hahahah <NiM> and the priest was like OMFG U SINNERS <NiM> thats the blood of christ! <NiM> And the ones that didn't spit it out where walking around in their fucking robs with boners <NiM> it was the funniest shit ever <NiM> We where kicked out <NiM> of the church _______________ Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace. This comment was edited by Ulic Belouve on Dec 10 2003 10:15pm. |
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Ulic Belouve - Student 
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<Potato> A couple years back, my friend had the greatest christmas tree of all time <Potato> We were 'round at his place, having a post-pissup drink/laugh at lightweight bastards and two cops came in because of a noise complaint <Potato> One of them walks towards the open back door while the other does the usual "Why are you making so much noise" question routine <Potato> The friend in question goes pale as he sees the cop stick his head in the door and only look one way before deciding they were wasting their time <Potato> When they'd fucked off, I asked him what was wrong, he pointed in the other direction and told me to go check out the christmas tree the cop missed <Potato> I stick my head in the door and lo, a 6 foot tall pot plant, complete with tinsel and presents around the base, is sitting in the corner, facing me off, taunting me, goin' "Yeah, fucker, I'm a 6 foot tall pot plant. Ya wanna piece of me, bitch?" _______________ Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace. |
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Flash - Student 
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Actually, just go here for alot of quotes: http://www.bash.org/?top |
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Flash - Student 
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I got one here: t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say... BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES BlackAdder> IN FACT BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.* *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( ) t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right CRCError> right heartless> Right. r3v> right Lol, got that from Bash.org, I love it.  |
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Flash - Student
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*Bump* |
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Sauron-the-rasta-mon - Student 
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i love that!!!"AFK, tornado _______________ Ω Allehelgens Død Helveds Rike Ω |
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Jello` - Student 
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(13:10:32) (Jello`) kick ass (13:10:32) -JAbot- JAbot is not opped on #jedi-academy hehehe _______________ Brady Brothers: Orion-Greg, Furi0us-Peter, Me-Bobby. Long lost cousin to Flash. Midbie Council #007. Ex-JAK. |
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Jacen Aratan - Student |
Probably www.bash.org |
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SS/ph00d - Student 
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LMAO Eclipse, where did you get all that??!?!?  _______________ -ShadowSith: CTF/gunner specialist. |
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aph3x - Retired 
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wow. that was the most laughing ive done in quite a while. thank you |
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Gentleman Loser - Ex-Student 
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Ohh dammit, that's funny! The simpsons vid/brownie mix one made want to puke and wet myself laffin at the same time!  _______________ "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" Bhagavad Gita & J. Robert Oppenheimer This comment was edited by Gentleman Loser on Aug 07 2003 05:26am. |
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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*cough BUMP* _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Shannon -SC- - Student 
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Hehe www.bash.org rules. _______________ Falling from heaven is not as painfull, as surviving the impact. |
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niten - Student 
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hah! what a funny post! /me watches what he says from now on! |
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Tallepyon - Student 
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LOL this pretty funny |
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Fonz - Student 
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lol - that is class! - if anyone posts any of my dumber moments on irc I will not be responsible for my lack of response _______________ Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. |
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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rotfl..hehehehe...i love it. now someone needs to compile stupid moments from the JA IRC channel...heh..it wouldn't take long _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Ash - Eats Babies 
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holy jesus jimmy christ thats a large post. still its pretty funny. good reading for when you are bored. _______________ "We keep odd hours...." ----------------------- They Live, We Sleep |
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