| JA communication guidelines..(not official....just opinions....) | |
|
Khalek[JAP] - ex-Student ![Khalek[JAP]](images/users/4155.jpg) |
Hey all. I bet you've heard enough from me as it is, right? Tough luck. You shouldn't have opened a thread that states CLEARLY who made it...lol. IF THIS IS TOO LONG, JUST SKIP TO THE END, WHERE THE CAPITALS BEGIN AGAIN... Okey dokey..to the heart of the matter. The rules of the JA will be discussed til the end of the world. That ain't what this thread is about. Who is or isn't a lamer has bounced too. That ain't what this thread is about. Whether banning is a fair first offence has been discussed. That ain't what this thread is about. And what to do if there's a problem on the servers has been discussed. That ain't what this thread is about. Is everyone clear on that? Good.  If not, go to BOTH of these:http://www.thejediacademy.net/faq.php http://jaholocron.ryanmh.com/ OK. That's that. What I want to discuss is how we communicate and express ourselves in all three situations of the JA. 1) On the servers 2) On the forums 3) On IRC Many of the points will apply to all three, others will be specific. ************** What is the biggest problem in the JA at the moment, IMHO? Communication. Why? Because *almost* all of the issues that have come up over the last month have been sorted pretty sharpish once the JAC/JAT/JAK and more importantly JASs have known what was actually true. Let's take one example, like the first sentemce below the stars above... 'What is the biggest problem in the JA at the moment, IMHO?' Most of us would read this as a fairly standard forum statement. It's not accusatory, or aggressive..at least it's not intended taht way. But stop one second...what if you don't realise that IMHO means In My Honest/Humble Opinion? Suddenly, we have an alternative view...the sentence seems domineering, self-righteous and inflammatory...  This is an exaggeration, but it serves to illustrate my first point: [Misinterpretation is caused by lack of knowledge] All of us take time to learn vocabulary....just ask the Holocron if it's easy compiling all this information. So we must accept that others may not see what we see in a sentence. Of course, you can't account for and explain everything to people, not at once anyway. Virtue has asked me several times this week what I'm talking about, and sometimes I've been able to answer him  [Even if not in doubt, ask before arguing] So, once we've accepted that knowledge isn't instantly transferred, and that we must be sure before pressing ahead, we come to the next point. [Miscommunication is accidental] If someone doesn't understand you, they're not being awkward. Similarly, because it is accidental, it is difficult to detect by both speaker and listener while the conversation is continuing... [If you are finding it difficult to ask or tell, listen to your counterpart until you understand] So what if the problem continues? You've tried making sure that communication isn't the issue, and you've done all you can, right? Not yet, you haven't... Why are we assuming that there are only two people in a conversation?...an extra pair of ears is always useful. [Get another person to help you out BEFORE the situation deteriorates] Also, what do you know about the speaker?...if you feel comfortable asking them questions not related to the argument, then do so...by skirting the issue you may get a wider picture. The most important point here is the mother language of your counterpart...in the JA we have a lot of Scandinavian members, and the differences in attitude between the Americans and the British members are noticable indeed. [Politely ask them if they speak your language, or you theirs...if you don't feel comfortable, messagemode3 (Private Message) a friend] OK..it's got worse Insults are flying, and we are reaching bannable proportions of bad language. First, you owe allegiance to yourself, realistically. So don't use any language that can be condumped or screenshotted - this means that the person can't hear it and get annoyed...[Watch your language MORE in volatile situations] Try to calm them down....no-one benefits from strife. The best way to this is to consider anything you are about to say, and ask yourself...would this annoy me in this situation. Smilies in particular can be very troublesome if one person is infuriated at another. [Think first] But looking from your point of view simply isn't enough - empathy, the ability to see another's point of view, is essential in communication. This is difficult to teach or learn..but the best thing to do is consider your counterpart as a stereotype (only in your head....), as most people see them. Acting towards someone as you would towards anyone of their social group is a basic step (very basic...) that can aboid trouble surprisingly often. For example, if I am arguing with a JAS, and I know he is a Christian, then using 'goddammit' or other blasphemous terms is a potential problem. This is common sense, but needs reinforcing. [Look at your words and actions as others do. If in doubt...do not do or say anything without asking a friend] When all else has failed, walk away. You WILL NOT be banned/kicked/warned without there being evidence against you. If you do nothing, there is no evidence. It is far more important for you to stay than for a 'lamer' to go...they aren't around 24/7...but a banning will remove you from having even the option of playing here. [The best action can be inaction. The best words can be silence] OUR FRIENDS WHO SKIPPED TO THE CAPS CAN REJOIN US HERE.... How to save a precarious situation: A dummies guide... 1) Don't say dummies. No insulting language, regardless of justiication. 2) Anything that is NOT fact, say that it is opinion...starting with IMHO is good, if you are sure they understand it. 3) Unless you say so, no-one will know whether you agree. Even if you hate 90% of what someone has said, if the 10% makes sense, tell them. Someone who seems to be THINKING about what you are saying is not such an intimidating or irritating figure. 4) Don't laugh at them, unless they intiate the joke at themselves. Too many arguments are caused by an inappropriate LOL (Laugh Out Loud). If you are laughing at what you said, which can also be an irritant, then add the LOL at the end of the same line. 5) To make someone calm down in RL, we speak quieter. The equivalent is stating your OPINION or FACTS (be sure of which...) without capital letters, without smilies (except a single if appropriate) and without exclamation marks.6) Apologise. Use sentences such as, 'I'm sorry, but I disagree. Okay?' 'We'll just have to agree to disagree,' 'I'm sorry if I've caused you offence - I didn't mean to.' Most situations will defuse easily if you back down first - no-one likes being wrong, that's all. FINALLY, TAKE THIS AS A HINT: You NEVER see a JAK/JAT/JAC without the ability to do these basic things, if they deem it necessary. They aren't perfect, but they try to act responsibly. Simply put, if you want any hope of being a JAK or higher, I would practice simply talking on the servers. If nothing else - Listen before think before speak before act. If you do these out of order often, I would not be surprised if you find difficulties in Real Life down the road. Any comments? PLEASE, unless it is directly related to the topic, just post on my profile. I will answer NO ANECDOTES, ESPECIALLY WITH NAMES. BTW, I have taken the format of this from the way Koyi posted in the Jesus Christ thread. Learning from others is necessary... _______________ Brother to HW and Kyp Durron, padawan of the almiiiighty NFF. Traitor to the family and keeper of the LOLlipops (poisoned and otherwise). Jello's unwanted second cousin. Vladarion's moral lesser http://www.crazyfray.co.uk/home.htm - major update coming soon, yeah right.... £3.00 to be pledged so far to the JA fund... Just type PLEDGE ME UP KHALEK in any interesting post, and if it passes the funkolology test, 50p goes in the kitty... This one's for Jacen... http://www.bash.org/?7838 This post was edited by Khalek[JAP] on Oct 29 2003 05:45am. |
| Login and add your comment! |
| Comments |
|
Bubu - Hubbub 
|
/me hugs khalek. if you were a girl i'd mary you  listen to what this man says. very wise words. communication skills are very important, especially in an environment such as this where it is impossible for us to read each other's body language and facial expressions. i've seen countless arguments (including some very unpleasant ones) errupt on the site/servers/irc because two guys simply didn't understand each other. as the man said, listen before you think before you speak before you act. useful stuff even in RL. _______________ make install -not war |
|
Khalek[JAP] - Ex-Student ![Khalek[JAP]](/image_thumbnail.php?f_type=users&f_width=70&f_height=50&f_image=4155.jpg&f_odd=1)
|
True all....sometimesthings must simply be endured... However, if this makes even 1/2 a person think that wouldn't otherwise, it's been worth it. Well.....maybe 2 people....it WAS kinda long... _______________ Brother to HW and Kyp Durron, padawan of the almiiiighty NFF. Traitor to the family and keeper of the LOLlipops (poisoned and otherwise). Jello's unwanted second cousin. Vladarion's moral lesser http://www.crazyfray.co.uk/home.htm - major update coming soon, yeah right.... £3.00 to be pledged so far to the JA fund... Just type PLEDGE ME UP KHALEK in any interesting post, and if it passes the funkolology test, 50p goes in the kitty... This one's for Jacen... http://www.bash.org/?7838
|
|
Luke Skywalker - Student 
|
Wise words Khalek Yeah, tempers will arrise and sometimes anger cannot be stopped, but indeed silence IS the best word for it. I wish I had more time to read this thoroughly (I gotta get to school now ), but I admire every point I've read so far, but somethings simply can't be helped . _______________  Luke Skywalker
|
|
VaXxla Belouve - Student 
|
Nice idea, Khalek. Problem is that it's not always feasible to diffuse the situation with calming pause, especially when some lamer is fraggin' yo' butt! Arguments do happen, tempers flare, lamers lame and c00l guys chill, it's the way of the world. Ain't no preachin' gonna change that. Nice sentiment though V.  _______________ <-Padawan to FiZZe-> Bro to Roan, Squibit, Bail and Seth Cloudrider. -=Co-founder of The Galaxial School of Interpretive Ballet=- NOW SHOWING AT MUNES BAR!! music not supplied or required! =- Bow down to the great nipple -= This comment was edited by VaXxla Belouve on Oct 31 2003 11:27am. |
|
Rei D'Kana - Ex-Student |
3 huray's for Khalek goood point! and I completely agree Thinking before you do something is ALWAYS good not just on the PC lol. But mmaann, you got one biig vocabulary cuz some words, I didnt even know what they mean lolol This comment was edited by Rei D'Kana on Oct 31 2003 10:26am. |
|
Vladarion - Ex-Student 
|
As I have said on many occations... Khalek we share many of the same views. I think you drove home a few nails and stamped out a few flames. For after all an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of ground beef..... or was it cure... oh well ehhhehe. _______________ Padawan of Mace Windu, Brother to All. "Remeber, the Force will be with you always." - ObiWan Kenobi |
|
Katan - Student 
|
I'm glad you posted something like this. I think that, while I dont expect people to do * _EVERY_ * single thing list, I do think that, what can it hurt to try? Why bring someone else into a situation that you can solve yourself. You might think that it is a waste of time, yet, many times, it is a time saver. just m' 00.02 -Blah _______________ |
|
Fizz of Belouve - Student 
|
erm I see the point of ur post, Khal, but is it _that_ neccesary ? U have a few good point here, but u know, most of the people dont even think that _they_ are causing a problem with some of their actions, they think WE are causing it (all others). The thing is, it's always been some very cool guys in the JA, and some lesser cool ones, and a few lamers, who always were really really present so u had the impression its much more lamers than cool guys. What my point is ? It is nice to see some guys wanting to help improve the situation, but, trust me, its useless, and with every word/thread/comment about it u in fact worsen the situation. My 0.02$. -FiZZ of Belouve _______________ One of the Belouve boys, founder of the mighty FiZZsters Midbie council #20 - Fizz - #1933 - Jan '03 - Aug '04 "Renfield, you idiot!" |
|
Gish the Monkey - Ex-Student |
Dude, your intent is understandable and commendable. Wanting everyone to get along is admirable but infeasible. The only thing to come out of tip toeing around with your words is political correctness and we all know what kind of bs that is. I mean seriously... It's a waste of time calling a black guy african-american or a white guy caucasion or whatever the pc term for my cracker ass is. Im rambling though. Beating around the bush is a waste of precious time. Say what you mean and deal with the consequences as they come. There in, is the essence of life. _______________ Have you ever watched charismatic Christians change a light bulb? It takes 1 to actually change the light bulb and 10 others to pray against the spirit of darkness. |
| Login and add your comment! |