| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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Little Josh comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" His father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama bin Laden," David says. "Why Osama bin Laden," his father asks in shock. "Well," Josh says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "Josh, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Josh says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the hell out of him." _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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DJK - Student 
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Hey, listen to this one hehehe, How did frodo destroyed the boxing mach? he destroyed the ring!! :p |
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Gradius - Ex-Student 
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*Sigh* You had me built up a little bit until that last one Billy. Good try though.  _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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rofl it's so true!!  _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," said she. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up." _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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aight, this one has been posted before, I know, but that doesn't stop it from ruling: Two tomatoes are lying in a frying pan says on tomatoe to the other: "Boy, this sure is hot." to which the other tomatoe replies: "OMG A TALKING TOMATO!"  _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student
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OMG Billy I'm going to use that one next time I get pulled over. _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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Ale'Velkyrii - Student 
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What do you call a broken Bhuddist statue? A chipmunk. Get it? Chip...ah, whatever. _______________ Wanna know what my name means? Peralos Ale'Velkyrii: Perilous Drunken Angel, or PDA for short. Perilous, because I'm bound to get into fights I can't win. Drunken, because ALE! Angel, because a valkyrie is basically an angel of Odin. I'm here to send you to the afterlife, but I can't gurantee I'll be stable enough to win a fight.
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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LOL! OK, maybe it wasn't that bad afterall! ----- Woman: "Is there a problem officer?" Officer: "Ma'am you were speeding." Woman: "Oh, I see." Officer: "Can I see your license please?" Woman: "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one." Officer: "Don't have one?" Woman: "Lost it 4 times for drinking." Officer: "I see, can I have your vehicle registration papers please?" Woman: "I can't do that." Officer: "why not?" Woman: "I Stole this car and hacked up the owner." Officer: "You what?" Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see." The officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away from his car,and calls for back-up. within 5 minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun. Senior Officer: "Ma'am could you step out of your vehicle please!" woman: "Is there a problem officer?" Senior Officer: "one of my men told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: "Murdered the owner!" Senior Officer: "yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please. The woman opens the trunk revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Senior Officer: "Is this your car ma'am"? Woman: "Yes, here are my registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Senior Officer: "One of my men claims that you do not have a driver's license. The woman digs into her bookbag and draws out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer looks quite puzzled as he glances at the license. Senior Officer: "I'm sorry ma'am. One of my men claims that you didn't have a license, stole this car and murdered the owner." Woman: "Betcha the lyin' bastard told you I was speeding too!" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger
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wtf Billy that isn't a bad one at all! _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student
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OMG Billy that's funny as s**t! _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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ROFL!! HAHA that was good! _______________ make install -not war |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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haha lol hugh, and only hugh can prevent florist friars _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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LOL!!! ----- This is a bad one, but I cracked up: The local friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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been posted here before but that IS funny _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Garos - Student 
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lmao |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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A blonde bombshell walks into the airplane and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks her for her ticket...The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket. The blonde says, "Im a cute lookng blonde and I'm flying first class." The stewardess replys that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta....the blonde then retorts, "I'm a cute blonde and i'm flying first class". Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening...the blonde tells him, "I'm a cute blonde and I'm flying first class....The captain whispers in her ear...and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach cabin...The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so fast...He replied, "I told her that 1st class is not going to Atlanta." _______________ make install -not war This comment was edited by Bubu on Apr 11 2004 05:44pm. |
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Dan - Student |
LoL!! -Aiden |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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haha, lol _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student 
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ROFL!!!! _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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LOL! I heard that one but instead of a cup it was a shot glass, same difference! ----- A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, kid, we're gonna get a free haircut!'" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger
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rofl _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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yeah, I'm not too sure about the money either, but 500 doesn't sound right to me  it could be, it just doesn't feel that right to me... _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student 
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Lol Bail,you're right about the end except for the money. I'm pretty sure it closer to $500. Then again I could be wrong, I'll watch the movie again just t be sure. _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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_cmad_ - Ex-Student 
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hahaha rofl _______________ Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow. |
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