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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Jul 30 2025 10:44am

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

Poll
Are these jokes funny?

vote results
Yes!  Keep 'em coming! Yes! Keep 'em coming! [195 votes] [63%]
No!  My dog tells better jokes! No! My dog tells better jokes! [19 votes] [6%]
Some yes, some no. Some yes, some no. [55 votes] [18%]
I have no sense of humor.  What's a joke? I have no sense of humor. What's a joke? [41 votes] [13%]

< Recent Comments Login and add your comment! Previous Comments >
Comments
Mar 17 2004 08:35am

Drathir
 - Student
 Drathir

lol!!!! nice!
_______________
Where we ask the question, "Is real life really stranger than fiction, or is fiction about real life being stranger than fiction stranger than real life being stranger than fiction?" Ow.
-Paradox Lost
Want to read my slowly in progress webcomic?
-TCTI


Mar 16 2004 10:10pm

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

A man was driving his car and got pulled over by police.

The policeman said to the driver, "You, sir, are the 500th person to pass my car today, you just won $500!! What are you going to do with your money?"

The driver stared at the officer and said, "I'll probably get my drivers license."

When the driver?s wife heard what he said she quickly responded with, "He always says weird things when he's drunk."

Realizing what his mother just said, the driver's son exclaimed, "I knew we wouldn't get this far in a stolen car!!"

Right then a man popped out of the trunk and questioned, "Are we at the border yet?"
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Mar 15 2004 11:16pm

Dicemaster
 - Student
 Dicemaster

I don't see where my joke is posted before...wtf?
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Dicemaster

Mar 15 2004 10:39pm

Eternal_Silence
 - Ex-Student
 Eternal_Silence

There a two tomatoes frying in a pan

One tomato leans over and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here."

The other tomato jumps up and yells, "OMG A TALKING TOMATO!"

Mar 15 2004 08:33pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

HAHAHA!
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- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

Mar 15 2004 07:22pm

Thomasooo
 - Student
 Thomasooo

Nice one, Billy! :D
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In the navy and LOVING it! :D

Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris! :)


Mar 15 2004 05:59pm

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

LMAO :D

Heard that one with pineapples... but watermelons work too :P
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make install -not war

Mar 15 2004 05:23pm

_cmad_
 - Ex-Student
 _cmad_

ROFL!!!! LMAO BILLY :P :D
_______________
Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow.

Mar 15 2004 05:20pm

D@RtHM@UL
 - Student
 D@RtHM@UL

Rofl Billy!

Mar 15 2004 04:42pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest with the cannibals and get 10 pieces of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather some.

The first man came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explained the second step of the trial to him. First, he had to shove the fruits up his butt without any expression on his face, or he would be eaten. The first apple went in, but when he tried the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second man arrived and showed the king that his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to the second man, he secretly thought it would be easy to shove the berries up his ass. On the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, so he was also was killed and went to heaven.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!"

The second one replied, "I know, but I couldn't help it. I was doin' just great when all of a sudden the third guy showed up with all those watermelons!"
_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Mar 15 2004 04:32pm

D@RtHM@UL
 - Student
 D@RtHM@UL

Thnx to Dice I don't have to scroll down to read the previous posted version of the joke Bubu, and it's funny :D

Mar 15 2004 08:32am

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

Dice, read the jokes (at least on the same page) before you post yours. That one was already posted, and was told better! :P
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make install -not war

Mar 14 2004 08:21pm

Lian Del Rey
 - Student
 Lian Del Rey

Lolz good one Bubu. :D
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slorp

Mar 14 2004 08:19pm

Dicemaster
 - Student
 Dicemaster

slightly offesive...but really funny


whats better then winning a silver metal at the special olympics?



Not being retarted
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Dicemaster

Mar 14 2004 12:39pm

Axion
 - Student
 Axion

LOL bubu that was a good one :D
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Axion - Yeah.

Mar 14 2004 12:16pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

haha :D

rofl:D

omg
Thank god I put that coke down before I read it :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Mar 14 2004 10:39am

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when........

the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
_______________
make install -not war

This comment was edited by Bubu on Mar 14 2004 10:40am.

Mar 14 2004 06:16am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

Spotted on the back of a Tee shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: "If you see me running, try to keep up."
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Mar 13 2004 12:55pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

haha Ford:D rofl

lol at the other jokes too :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Mar 13 2004 06:04am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Mar 13 2004 06:03am

Shang Chi
 - Student
 Shang Chi

Did you ever notice that Evian bottled water is Naive spelled backwards?

Think about it.....
_______________
Thirty spokes converge on a single hub, but it is in the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the cart lies. Clay is molded to make a pot, but it is the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the clay pot lies. Cut out doors and windows to make a room, but it is in the spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the room lies. Therefore, Benefit may be derived from something, but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.

Mar 12 2004 10:31pm

Stimpski
 - Student
 Stimpski

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied.

“I'm sorry,” said Bill, “what happened to her?”

“My dog bit her and she died.” Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, “My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.”

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, “Can I borrow your dog?”

To which the man replied, “Get in line.”
=========================================
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.

"Duke!" the dad yelled.

"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.

"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.

"Duke! Get out of there before the boy shits on you!"
_______________
Stimpski (formerly known as DeathScythe many, many moons ago.)
JA Forum ID - 3988
<insert generic &/OR witty tagline here>


Mar 12 2004 06:45pm

_cmad_
 - Ex-Student
 _cmad_

haha :P :D
_______________
Your friends of today, are your enemies of tomorrow.

Mar 12 2004 04:06pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

lol, isn't that a commercial (or used in a commercial) cuz I think I've seen it once;)
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Mar 12 2004 04:05pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''

''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


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