| Pick-up Lines | |
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NofrikinfuN - Retired  |
What are your most effective pick-ups?
My favorite is: "It's a good thing I brought my library card, cuz you're hot!" It tends to be followed by confusion, but ranks among my most successful! What are yours? |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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phew.. *wipes some sweat off his forehead*
i just finished reading those. most of them are 100% sure to get you slapped 
but i can see how a few of them can actually work _______________ make install -not war |
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MINDofSIN - Student 
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I dated a girl once who had wookiee feet. I was freaked out.
I came across this huge list from an old e-mail: (Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it." Hi, I make more money than you can spend. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP! Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me. Which one of the Spice girls are you? My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in. I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow. For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc... Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed? It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me. Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, STUPID STUPID STUPID! Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business. Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit! Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it? I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away! I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking? What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off! Wow! Are those real? You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice. You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae. You are the reason men fall in love. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness. Are we related? Do you want to be? I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate. I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler? You remind me of a girl I used to date. Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time? You remind me of a girl I used to date. Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you). If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God. I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal. I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you." You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya. Excuse me, but do you have the temperature? Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too. Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now? Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel. Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check? Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.? Bond. James Bond. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven? Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!! I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you. I have only three months to live... I didn't know that angels could fly so low! I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? What time do you have to be back in heaven? What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? What's your sign? BOB BARKER PICKUP LINES. Come back to my place so I can give you a lovely parting gift. Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love. The next item up for bid is in my pants. How'd you like a years supply of Turtle Wax. I've made thousands of women scream and jump up and down. Please have dinner with me. I'm a very lonely man. Maybe it'll be easier for you to guess the price of the waterbed if we test it out first. Don't worry--I've been neutered. Come on down. You're so hot you would make the devil sweat. Good candy isn`t made... it`s just born. Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again? Would you like to dance? [she says "no"] No, you must have misunderstood me, I SAID, you look fat in those pants! Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. If I said you have a great body would you hold it against me? What do you say we go back to my place and play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the heck out of me! Want to play lion? (She asks, "What's that?"  That's where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I
feed you the meat! If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Walk up to a girl who is standing and say, "You look tired, let me clear you off a place to sit" then wipe your face. Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long! It's always good for you to see me again. My wife/husband just doesn't understand me. I know where there is a good party. They've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear. (speak this silently with mouth) I want a fig newton. Do you want cheesy lines or do you just want to do it? . So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score? I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free. Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree. Say, did we go to different schools together? Would you like to dance or should I go f*** myself again? Do you like clocks? (if yes) put two hands and a face on this. (pointing down) Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be? Hi. Are you legal? Hi. You'll do. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat? I think I could fall madly in bed with you.. I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better? Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us. You smell wet. Let's Party. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew... Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here.. Have you ever played leap frog naked??. I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality? I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. Can I see your tan lines?. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? Lie down. I think I love you. Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet? I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed? Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers. Your face or mine? I'm single! Would you like to see my boa constrictor? Would you like to come and party in my toolshed? As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me! I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle! Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend? Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us. Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do? Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right. Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot? I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!! I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are? If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants. I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy. Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that. Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?" Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.) Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong? What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper. What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me? Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight? You are the only reason why I came in here alone. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car. Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire! Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you're desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, "how about you call me tomorrow and we'll figure out a way to spend this money?" When I first saw you I almost had to call an ambulance to take me away because the sight of you stopped my heart! Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot? Baby you're a sex crime waiting to happen. Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good! Hey so you want to see some magic? You and I will go to your place have sex and I'll disappear in the morning. Would you like to be my love buffet so I can lay you on a table and take what I want? Darn girl you even look good with the lights on! If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them. So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I've got one that I'm just dying to put in your drawers. You look a little feverish. Luckily I always have an oral thermometer on me. Do you like blueberries or strawberries, 'cause I want to know what kind of pancakes to order in the morning. My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in? Before you run, I am not a freak. Hello? Oh, your body was calling me from across the room. Coffee? Tea? Me? I've got an alarm clock that makes the best sound in the morning. Would you like to come and hear it?. I'm an army recruiter. Why don't you come over to my place and "be all you can be." You must be a chef, because you certainly are mighty spicy. Excuse me, your fly is down. Oops, maybe not now but definately later. If you were a pair of pants I'd wear you out!! The best part of me is covered up. That dress would look awfully nice on my bedroom floor... Take a chance on me. There's an aura about you that's hidden and I want to bring that aura out. This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single. Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight? What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me. You should be someone's wife. Can I please be your slave tonight? Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself? Hey, wanna see my R2D2 impersonation? (Think about it...) I like your shoes! Do you like mine?? Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne. Would you like someone to mix with your drink? Would you like to be in movies? Hey babe, did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List? Whatever you do, don't ever cut that silky hair of yours _______________ Jedi Academy Holocron http://jaholocron.ryanmh.com/ Why should our government send our soldiers to foreign soil to protect freedom of speech, when our freedom of speech is being taking away everyday by the same government. |
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Ruuk Haviser - Retired 
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NFF: Sorry about that package. 
Acey_Spadey (1): Come on! Women don't just say, "...anything you want to do." Hmm. <scratches head> Wait. My ex-wife did that. MoS: Smiles and "hi's" work best of all. We guys just need to accept this fact... (everyone read this carefully)... WOMEN ARE SMARTER THAN YOU. Don't think they can't see what you're trying to do. They have booty-radar or something, and can avoid pick-up lines like the plague. Acey_Spadey (2): My brother met his soon to be wife on-line playing Meridian 59 and Everquest. No kiddin. Chicka: You have some weird ways of going about it... ...but hey, if the shoe fits...
Ash: You've gotta be kiddin me... you saying you never have to do any of the footwork? Ya must have some of the biggest feet these girls have ever seen... 
I'm tellin y'all, hit 'em with something they aren't expecting. Course, it helps if you have really, really, really white teeth. And big, um, feet. Am I still talking? _______________ Back from the dead... |
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Ash - Eats Babies 
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Hahaha I have actually seen Sinestro try that tactic. And that is the exact outcome. _______________ "We keep odd hours...." ----------------------- They Live, We Sleep |
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Sinestro - Student 
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"Hey baby, what's going on?"
*She walks away "Yeah, you got it going on. Later on." _______________ Keep On Rocking In The Free World |
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Ash - Eats Babies
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Being the awsome pimpmiester that I am, I would like to say that I have an enormous amount of pick up lines. But honestly I have never used one. In fact I never even say the first word. Usually the girl just comes up to me says "Hi" and I just go from there. Thats the smooth way of doing it. _______________ "We keep odd hours...." ----------------------- They Live, We Sleep |
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Chicka - Ex-Student 
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The best way to pick someone up and have a lasting relationship with someone, as I have learned, is to start by hating their guts. That should last about a year. Then begin to tolerate them slowly, the process should take around 3 monthes. Become "friends" with said person for a time frame of another 3 months, at which point become best friends with them for 6 months. At this point, and this point alone, you may spontaeneously take them to your house at 12am, and kiss them by 2am
Edit: Had to make sure the last step was legible This comment was edited by Chicka on Feb 21 2003 04:27pm. |
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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but isn't that what the subject is all about..??? _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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NofrikinfuN - Retired 
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lol
By package I meant the looks of you. Reproductive organs aren't a problem area! Well... Er, I'm all uncomfortable now. Stick to the subject! |
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MINDofSIN - Student
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"then disappoint them with the package!"
Let's all laugh at NFF's inadequate reproductive organ! ...I'm sorry...I...I feel you pain. _______________ Jedi Academy Holocron http://jaholocron.ryanmh.com/ Why should our government send our soldiers to foreign soil to protect freedom of speech, when our freedom of speech is being taking away everyday by the same government. |
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NofrikinfuN - Retired
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Acey... I went to school with my girlfriend... But the first time we ever talked was on the internet! lol
The internet is a great way to meet people! Let them judge you by your mind and actions, then disappoint them with the package! They'll still be able to think "Yeah, but at least he's cool." |
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Acey Spadey - Student
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well i've been with my gf for 1 year 10 months....
and um...we met..... *cough* on the net *cough* _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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MINDofSIN - Student 
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I've been with my girlfriend Emily for 5 months now.
We were in the same music theatre class and I went up to her, smiled, and said....*drumroll* Hi. Edit: Pickup lines hardly ever work. Much more can be accomplished with charm, alcohol, or a firm buttocks...depending on what you want. _______________ Jedi Academy Holocron http://jaholocron.ryanmh.com/ Why should our government send our soldiers to foreign soil to protect freedom of speech, when our freedom of speech is being taking away everyday by the same government. This comment was edited by MINDofSIN on Feb 20 2003 05:37pm. |
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Acey Spadey - Student
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no wait....that's not right...ACKS...hmm
heheheheh..j/k...hmm...how about these.. this is once you've gotten talking to her..." be a friend..and who knows what could happen..." and the only way to PICKUP for what everyone is implying and to succeed is to find one that wishes to do what you want...be subtle be swish..be smooth.... "so what would you like to do tonight" and you will usually get the responce from her something like "oh...anything you want to do.." but this can be taken two ways 1. you could actually say what you want and she would slap you 2. or you say it and she jumps ya...good good.. but which one should it be... as i said..be subtle..say something like.. "I want to Make you smile tonight.." i know..its' cutesy and stuff..but hey... _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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lol Ruuk!
My brother liked this one: "Hey how 'bout a f*ck and some pizza?" ...after she slaps you in the face... "What? You don't like pizza?" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Ruuk Haviser - Retired 
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Any time you're at a counter (bank, store, whatever) and she asks you, "What can I do for you?" say, "Yeah, I'd like a pepperoni pizza, extra cheese..." The look on her face will be classic, and will *always* break the ice. Take it from there. Important, tho: won't work if you do it at a pizza place.
-rh _______________ Back from the dead... |
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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"Is that an erection in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me.." _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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This one works every time:
Let me buy you another shot of Jägermeister!
_______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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NofrikinfuN - Retired
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Pshhh Chosen Mind Tricks them into bed. |
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cHoSeN oNe - Retired 
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Actually I do, I never say stuff like that...tis a joke...but I do have a strong influence when it comes to telling the ladies what the want and need to hear. SCORE!!!! _______________ Get busy living, or get busy dying. |
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Bubu - Hubbub
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lmao @ chosen... i bet that gets you all the ladies every time! _______________ make install -not war |
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NofrikinfuN - Retired 
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lmao I like these.
Oh and I've been in a relationship for 3 years.
It seems a sense of humor works wonders with the ladies! *Well... That one, anyway...* |
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cHoSeN oNe - Retired 
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"I'm Mike, Jedi Knight and friend of Captain Solo's" _______________ Get busy living, or get busy dying. |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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i lost a bet and had to go up to the hottest girl in a bar and say this:
"Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight" IT WORKED! _______________ make install -not war |
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TiTo (inactive) - Student 
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I usually make the girls notice me before i go over to them... That way I'm more confident...
BTW: If "It's a good thing I brought my library card, cuz you're hot!" is your best pick-up line... Then u must be single now!!!
Just kidding ...TiTo... Jedi Academy Student _______________ Not back yet... I'll come one day, I hope... The madman formerly (and still) known as Tito! Coming to take back my title as "Most insane 'person' in the JA" It's the bizzi, wizza, jizzi, Wizzil, Bizon, wizzay, Wizzat, fizzil ¶°TiTo°¶ - All work and no play makes Tito burn the bacon! - Officially cured from spamming!!!
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