| Academy-Watch at Nine! | |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student  |
Hint: This is in the Crazy Forum! A live report from our own Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky! That's right Kent! The rumors are true. The Academy has not had new members in TWO days! Is the Academy finally in trouble? These questions will be answered all, in Academy-Watch at nine! This is just in! Bail's life is still missing...  _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. This post was edited by Bail Hope of Belouve on Aug 12 2004 02:18pm. |
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JrVicks - Student |
 ! baill fired! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! _______________ Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. I say, Are you ganna drink that? |
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Gradius - Ex-Student 
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This just in: Bail Hope has just been fired from channel JA News. And now, reporting live from the toolshed in which he has shacked, is Bail Hope. Bail? _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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and now on to our little crimson story about a detective.... and a criminal (Copyright: Ctrlaltdel-online.com) It was a cold rainy Wednesday night, just like any other, but his evening I had a lot on my mind. I was working a difficult case, and I was fresh out of leads. I tried to occupy my mind... I thought that maybe if I cleared my head, a new avenue would present itself for some exploration, but I found no answers for the question that rattled my brain. Where in the f-k is my left hand? The night was hard, but I pressed on. I needed answers, and they weren't going to show up at my doorstep. I questioned everyone, some played dumb, and some honestly had no clue what I was talking about. Like cheese spread over too much cantelope, the people I spoke with liked their shoes. I left no stone unturned, no avenue unexplored, I was like a superhero, except instead of powers, I had my questions. So... I guess I wasn't like a super hero at all... But I played the part. That's what it's all about on the streets. It became quickly obvious that I was going to need all of my super sleuth skills to solve this case. The trail had led me to an abandoned warehouse on the east side of town. Something smelled fishy, and it wasn't my socks, so I proceeded with caution. Sure enough, I came across some of the city's most infamous gangsters. Too-Much-Neck-Joey and Mickey "The Mountain" Monelli And many more. And then I got my first look at their ringleader, and my surprise was complete. My f-king left hand! That traitorous bastard! How many times had I let him scratch my ass, an honor that was usually reserved for my right hand, and this is how he repays me? I knew what had to be done... I burst through the door waving my gun, and said something really clever, like "Freeze, villanious scum!" This is why I'm good at what I do. They protested that this wasn't some secret meeting to make plans to take over the world, but a mere Tupperware party, to purchase plastic goods to keep leftovers fresh and edible. "Really?" I asked. "Yes," they replied. They asked me to join them, and as i was terribly in need of a way to preserve my hard wrought tuna casseroles, I happily agreed. I am an idiot. The end _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. This comment was edited by Bail Hope of Belouve on Aug 16 2004 12:46pm. |
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JrVicks - Student |
wow...they used to be so...tall _______________ Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. I say, Are you ganna drink that? |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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Thank you tarpman for that enlightening review. We are looking forward to seeing more of your monkey in your pants. I mean your monkey in my pants. The Gentlers have won their first game in basketball. Here we see their lead man, Stephen Petrostranovich, aka Caveman shortly after the victory. In the gymnastics, it was a close victory by Petra Strablada! She is the girl on the right in that picture. She won the contest by doing five backflips and crashing into the wall, leaving a hole in the wall. Reports say she may have won by NOT sleeping with the members of the jury. Lucky bastards. And to conclude our sports section for today, we give you an exclusive view at the new Lakers team. They have all just been transferred to the team and are doing great. Give it up for ... the Lakers team! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
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Today we'll be discussing people with monkeys in their pants. Case in point: Bail Hope of Belouve. Reporting to you now from inside DJ Sith's router... which would explain the lag on the servers today. As you can see in these pictures, monkeys do not belong in pants. Why then are they there? I fought my way through a stream of qstat packets to ask masterjk3.ravensoft.com a few questions. When I reached my destination, however, I realised that I had taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up at the Penny Arcade site. Making the best of a wrong turn, I interviewed a few idle processes on their server, and came up with the following conclusions: - DJ Sith needs to get us more servers with fast hookups. - Bail is the only person in whose pants monkeys belong. - Lesbians. 'Nuff said, eh Bail? Thanks for listening! Now, over to the sports desk. _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student 
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Thank you Bail. Yes, it seems Bail has a girlfriend. We've sent hundreds of reporters out to try and get a picture of Bail's "one and only someone," and all we could come up with was this. Indeed, Bail has chosen a unique woman, one in a million. And now, on to some other guy whom we just hired for a slightly less interesting story. _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
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Tonights topic: Fizz's retirement from the JA has left the Academy snickering and snottering and stottering and snoggeling! Still, the Great Fizzster did not want any interviews of the sort. That is okay. Because we got lesbians! Get your lesbians right here! Why buy one? Buy two, and double the fun! Now here is Gradius, discussing the wonder of Bail's girlfriend. Grad? _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. This comment was edited by Bail Hope of Belouve on Aug 15 2004 07:44pm. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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LOL didn't even notice that _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Setementor - Jedi Master 
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LOL! Quote: Now on to the wordly news: Right here in New Texas we can definately see mr. SoDamn Insane hiding from our satellites. Actually, spell Sadam backwards...  This comment was edited by Setementor on Aug 15 2004 04:22pm. |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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Welcome to our Academy Watch at nine. I'd like to thank you all for watching (read: reading) again! Today we'll take about Lesbians! Now, who likes to TALK about lesbians? Wouldn't it be better if we ... showed you pictures?! Yeah, y'all love me baby! First, a definition: Lesbians are when two girls... erm... do ... stuff Here we have a waiting line of All lesbians! Just who's gay here? I'm gonna shove this down your throat, you *censorship*!! Lesbians... They just don't know it yet. 'nuff said Bail, nor the entire crew has anything against lesbians! Especially when they come in blonde killer bodies-packaging. And now on to our new Jazz band! They call themselves: "The Happy Bunch". This really does not show Here we have a picture of the Happy Bunch in action: Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are, etc etc... w00t w00t! This concludes our news report for today. Let's take a look at the weather. There is some flatulence (read: wind) in America. We are still trying to find the reason, but this one might be it: Yes people, this is a real person! And that concludes our weather report for today. And remember our happy thought of the day: It takes muscles to fight and bicker, but it takes balls to play football! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. This comment was edited by Bail Hope of Belouve on Aug 15 2004 04:04pm. |
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JamesF1 - Student 
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This is JamesF1 continuing the 'Report from Inside Bail' series of reports. Today we are inside Bail's EAR. AND OH-MY-GOSH WHAT ARE THOSE COWS DOING IN THERE. *listens* mmmmmmoooooo, mmmmommmommoooooo, 0000mmmm 000mmmm, m000000. I think you can figure that out for yourselves folks. _______________ Website |
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Tido - Student 
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lmao! |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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First of all, I'd like to say thank you to Gradius, for the best laugh of the day Next, on to the news Ex-president Bill Clinton has been seen riding through town! When we asked for comment, all we got was this look. And a new ground-breaking technology has finally shown the real heritage of Bill Clinton. That is right! As everyone expected. Monkeys. The case with Monica Lewinsky clearly proved the fact, that the ex-president is actually a monkey! "I'll tell you again. I did not ... have sexual relationships with that woman" -> See, he says it himself! Monkey! Today was the great day for Al Bundy as well, since he got to meet mister Clinton in the flesh! Here is a pic of Al Bundy alongside mister Clinton. As you can clearly see, Mister Bundy is very proud of being at the side of Mr. Clinton! When our News Agency looked for pictures of Al Bundy, we found lesbians, that is correct, lesbians on page 5! Read all about it in our next issue for later this afternoon! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
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Setementor - Jedi Master 
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ROFL Now, we saw a game in stores not knowing what could happen. According to The Jedi Academy Representative Gradius, this has caused high amounts of wind. Heres Gradius reporting live. This comment was edited by Setementor on Aug 15 2004 11:02am. |
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SedNox - Student 
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LMAO Gradius! hahahahaha _______________ -Evil Clown- "We interrupt this program to increase dramatic tension." Echuu's 1200th comment, D@RtH N00B's 10850th comment, Redeye's 100th and 150th comment. |
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Sfire - Student 
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lmao Gradius...lol _______________ |Sfire - Padawan to MOTREC, Gradius| |Owner of Motrec's and Gradius's 999th Comments! Also Smily's 5001 comment and 3th's 1903 comment! Also, cannot forget to mention the proud owner of Gradius' 3000th comment!| |
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Gradius - Ex-Student
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This is Gradius reporting live from inside Bail Hope's head. It appears we have found the cause for Bail's recent behavior. Yes, there is a two-headed cow inside his brain. Gradius: Mr. and Mr. Cow, how exactly did you get here? Cow: What do you mean? We were born here. Gradius: Really? Do you happen to have a picture of your parents? Cow: Yes, here. There you have it folks. Shocking, yet true. This is Gradius, signing off. You heard it, and you heard it from us. And now, here's tarpman with your local JA Rawkness levels. _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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It seems that Wilt Chamberlain was at a cocktail party and was asked yet again 'How's the weather up there?' by a person of lesser stature. Finally losing patience, Chamberlain inverted his glass over his interlocutor and reported, 'It's raining.' Now on to the wordly news: Right here in New Texas we can definately see mr. SoDamn Insane hiding from our satellites. In antwerp we shall have the following weather: Chance of rain... As you may know, rain is water falling out of the sky. Winds out of the North-Northeast at near hurricane speeds. So watch your hats! Also, our thought for today: It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger. Now on to the satellite images. here we can definately see an elephant. Thank you, that concludes the weather. Sorry to interrupt your weather report, but this is just in. We have found Gradius' Family, I repeat, we have found Gradius' Family! RIGHT HERE! Mister Gradius is the top left one. Thank you, that is all! _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. This comment was edited by Bail Hope of Belouve on Aug 14 2004 12:26pm. |
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JrVicks - Student |
hey...is it me or does the undisclosed place look a lot like bail's apartment? _______________ Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. I say, Are you ganna drink that? This comment was edited by JrVicks on Aug 14 2004 07:14am. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student
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Well tarpman, it seems that Tido's rawkness level has once again risen from a 7 to a 9. According to Jedi Academy Representative Setementor, this has caused high numbers of new members to flood The JA Staff with applications. And now, coming to you live from an undisclosed location is Bail Hope with your local weather and rawkness reports. _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider This comment was edited by Gradius on Aug 14 2004 01:51am. |
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tarpman - The Tarped Avenger
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And today, our scoop of the day is: Intelligent men trying to lose weight. Yes, many men try to lose weight. But are they all intelligent? I'm currently reporting from the living room of JavaGuy. Here's his cat's on the situation. Me: So, how is your weight loss program going? Cat: meeeeeOOWWW!! *scratch attack!!* Me: Ow. So as you can see, men don't like to discuss losing weight. Now, over to our other reporters for a report on Tido's sizeable amount of rawkness. _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
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JrVicks - Student |
Thats right! If theres ever an exciting scoop, you can count on this team (wich im not apart of...aww man my life sucks) to be there first! _______________ Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. I say, Are you ganna drink that? |
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Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
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/me has index-finger in ear like someone with a soar ear Indeed, I am standing here by Bail's room. As you can see behind me, Bail's house is obstructed by a big dumpster. To be toad away soon That "the Bailster" is actually all man isn't proven yet, Gradius. We still have some doubts about this. He is female until proven otherwise. Now on to the next scoop! The Crusades of King Arthur have finally come to an end, following Hitler's death in Scandinavie. This is a photograph showing Arthur pulling somebody's leg. This all thanks to a little-known wizard named Handalf from the Wizard of Foz. Coming up tomorrow: Intelligent men trying to lose weight Why is Tido so damn Sexy? _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. This comment was edited by Bail Hope of Belouve on Aug 13 2004 08:51pm. |
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Gradius - Ex-Student
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Thanks again Bail for the lovely cup of java. In other news, the appocolypse is on it's way. Yes, that's right, you heard it, and you heard it from us. Brace youselves people, for scientific studies have recently shown that Bail Hope is indeed a man. Yes, it is very shocking. However, we ask that you don't start committing mass suicide until this theory is proven, at which point I will begin the slaughtering. Here with us now, reporting live from Dr. Kavorkian's secret lair is Bail Hope. Bail? _______________ - Proud padawan of Kueller. - We really are at the beginning of it all. The trick, of course, is to make sure we never find the end. - Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything - <gen-e-sis-happy> Liek, you can train, liek, a n00b, but he'll just be a trained n00b... --> Wise words! - "daer SOE me likes your a company i am having your some money for letting me do stuff cos mes the best amd i do it all meself" - Slider This comment was edited by Gradius on Aug 13 2004 07:31pm. |
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